ethics help: Is it really that bad to make people feel good about themselves with statements that aren’t necessarily true? - Help.com

Post a replyyes, if you can’t say anything nice without lying, why say it at all. Even white lies can eventually lead to hurting someone in the future.

Making someone feel better by lying is the rudest thing to do.

I too would say yes. Complimenting someone when you don’t mean it will eventually cause problems for that person. False compliments are one of the things that probably cause people to feel bad about themselves anyway. How would you feel if you had been complimented several times by people and then later realised that they didn’t really mean what they said?

Nothing wrong with it. If it helps him then no problem though alot of the time they may know it’s a lie.

Basically, if it is even part true, go for it.

Lying is bad, no matter the reason :]

Yeah I know it’s hard to see someone upset, and most people’s natural instinct is to try to help them to feel better; but by lying you’re actually only doing it to make yourself feel better by beleiving that you helped the person out. They will eventually realise that whatever it is you’ve told them is a lie and they will feel ten times worse for it.

Some guy had a recording studio, and a really talented girl went in to sing. She was great. He told her so. Then a really TERRIBLE singer went it. She KILLED the song. She sounded like fingernails on a chalkboard followed by a cat fight. He also told her how good she was. Then after she left feeling good, he was laughing his head off at her. I didn’t trust his opinions afterwards. I never would know if I was any good or not. Lies don’t help. In this instance I would say that he shouldn’t have lied. He shouldn’t have been a Simon Cowell, but at the other end of the spectrum lead to disaster. She went on to sing in the school play. IT was maddening and sickening!

Then again, if it is PARTLY true, then I agree, go for it. It might help the person to gain a little confidence.

Hey Bunny, I think that you made the right call! That doesn’t seem like a lie. He got a little boost, and you didn’t tell him that he was definately the best looking guy in town, so no harm in that!

That man telling that girl that she could sing was aweful. She sang in the play, and people there kept staring at each other and they laughed at her for a month. Every time the school was putting on another play, she wanted to be a singer. They didn’t allow it, bc they knew how bad she was bc of the first time. They had her doing OTHER roles, ANY other role, aka any not involving singing.

Don’t lie… not even with compliments to boost someone who is feeling down…. surely you could find something to compliment them on which isn’t a lie… something genuine… then you’ve made them feel good and haven’t lied…

its a difficult question. its like asking what do you say to the question “I love this dress, but do you think it makes me look fat?”

wanting to help someone feel good about themselves is one thing and it might work for now but down the road there are going to be problems. like if you say “no I think it looks great.” to the first question so the asker then wears said dress to the party and overhears. “well the color was nice but the cut made her look like shamu got beached again”

I can assure you there will be questions that you will be held to answer for once said party is over.

Okay okay. What about the old question;
Girl: Does my bum look big in this?
Guy: Er…
1. Yes sweety it does a bit; why don’t you go change.
2. No of course not pop tart. You look gorgeous.

(Even if in actual fact it really does make her look like a bit of an elephant)

My h told me that he’d tell me the truth, and he has. He said “It’s not the dress!” How could i be mad at the truth. I’d rather hear it from him than from a bimbo at a the Christmas party. The next day, to the gym I went. :P

Miss Jessica Bunny wrote:
Oh no, that’s not good. There was a girl in my GCSE Music class who couldn’t play any instruments and thus had to sing for all of her performance pieces. Someone once had told her she had a nice voice, and she’d taken it more than to heart. Because I played piano I was roped into being her accompaniment, she used to come round to my house and practice and my mum (who has done a lot of professional singing) described it as a cat being tortured lol. I used to try and say things like “maybe we should warm up a bit more first” or “you’re almost hitting the note, you’re just not there yet” lol.

Maybe the girl from your story would have been better off as a mine ;)

Ugh.. I have a friend like that at school… someone once told her she has a good voice and now she keeps singing on all school events… We only had 2 choices - either tell her she sucks or listen to that cat torturing…

In my opinion, it isnt fair saying them they rock or look great when they really dont. So if you have a chance to tell them do it carefully, cause otherwise theyll hear it from someone else who might not be that sensitive and just say it, or even worse, laugh at it.

oh don’t feel bad about that lie.

lying IS bad but if it helps in making someone feel better at THAT point of time, why not? he needs it anyway. :)