Mental Preoccupation …

Rand0

Mental Preoccupation …

With thinking.. thinking about things, thinking about how to think properly. Thinking about praying, thinking about prayer, thinking about good and being good, praying that I will be good, that I will act good and think good things.

Thinking about myself and my relationships, prioritizing my thinking over everything else. Living in my head, living in my bed, in my dreams, trying to sleep all day and all night, taking three baths in the day just to keep myself calm.

Avoiding my work. Worrying about my problems. Obsessing over my inequities, arguing with my father, arguing with myself over the causes of the problems, musing on solutions, finding answers in habits of thought, establishing new habits of thought, finding myself obsessing over newly estblished habits of thought, finding that the new habits don’t activate me any more than the old ones.

Thinking about drugs and side-effects, feeling the drugs working in my head, feeling calm and full but wondering if they will work in the way I need them to.

Arguing with my dad, worrying and worrying and worrying and worrying, as if it were a hobby, as if I am gaining something through years and years of isolation, of personal thinking… never getting anywhere in life.

Thinking that what I think has some importance or relevance to the world, thinking that I am someone special, or would be if only I could stop thinking and start doing, or, more aptly, start finishing the things I start.

Worrying about myself. Incessantly. Worrying about my position and my lack of industry. Worried, scared, helpless…

This open post was written 4 years, 1 month ago | V/U/S: 1,963, 9, 7 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

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Since writing this post Rand0 may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. Rand0 is a verified member, has been around for 5 years, 2 months and has 140 posts and 1,831 replies to their name.

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Rand0 9 #
An Unknown Location | 4 years, 1 month ago (1 hour, 26 minutes after post)

okei! wrote:
why worry? u dont accomplish anything w/ that. u let fear kill u, ur determination & ur dreams. ur afraid of something not yet in ur face. would it change anything w/ much worrying?! of course not!

quit worrying. idk if u read d bible, but in it Jesus told his ppl that they shld not worry abt tomorrow. today has sufficient worries for itself. faith in urself and faith in God might help u pull urself up & quit worrying

It’s an obsessive thinking problem. People just don’t understand. I’m unable to do anything but think about myself. I can distract myself - but I can’t GIVE my attention to other things for very long… it’s crappy. That’s why I’ve been stuck for months and months going round and round in circles. It’s kind of like obsessive selfishness… but quite subtle.

Help me with: What do you want to do in your next life?

This reply has been removed.

Anonymous #
4 years, 1 month ago (3 days, 17 hours after post)

ah yesh, this procrastonation that gives little or no satisfaction whatsoever but is addictive at a destructive level. Making no progress, and feeling that looming sense that I should get the heck off this site >. It’s so overwhelming but not enough make me stop typing, and delving into other peoples lives, and issues, rather than face my own.
This feeling makes me dizzy.
This feeling is inescapable for me and consuming and deteriorating all aspects of my life. When/If you find the cure on how to focus productively lemme know
E

Rand0 9 #
An Unknown Location | 4 years, 1 month ago (3 days, 21 hours after post)

Anonymous wrote:
ah yesh, this procrastonation that gives little or no satisfaction whatsoever but is addictive at a destructive level. Making no progress, and feeling that looming sense that I should get the heck off this site >. It’s so overwhelming but not enough make me stop typing, and delving into other peoples lives, and issues, rather than face my own.
This feeling makes me dizzy.
This feeling is inescapable for me and consuming and deteriorating all aspects of my life. When/If you find the cure on how to focus productively lemme know
E

Yeah, just quit everything else that you’re not meant to be doing and focus on that which you are meant to be doing.

Help me with: What do you want to do in your next life?

ra #
An Unknown Location | 3 years, 11 months ago (2 months, 2 weeks after post)

This account has been deactivated.

mckennaherro #
An Unknown Location | 3 years, 5 months ago (8 months, 2 weeks after post)

I know this feeling. I know it very well. Your mind can be one of the most dangerous places to wander; I’ve always been a victim of thinking too much, subconsciously, too. If I had a choice, I’d be combpletely oblivous to all of these problems. Ignorance is bliss, right? I’m a tad envious of all the idiots in the world that fail to realize what’s warping their daily lives. Sometimes I just want to freeze everything and forget about it. If time would simply give me a second to catch up, I wouldn’t feel so horrible wasting it while I try to fit the pieces together. And continuely fail.. it’s endless effort that produces nothing. I get so sick of stressing and worrying all of the goddamn time, but it’s like a necessity. If you don’t focus on these little things that eat away at you, what the hell happens? It’s a vicious cycle. You ignore it, and then it just bites you harder in the *** the next time around. And you waste your time trying to figure what little you know about life out, and place it all together, and then it just gets so tiresome you give up again.

But what I always end up telling myself is that it’s all mental.
Everything.

You have the power to choose; you can choose to be happy. You can choose to do something with your life… and after you do it- you can CHOOSE to enjoy it.

I stand strong on my belief that a person can convince themselves of a feeling if they truly want to. You CAN make yourself get up. Dreams seem amazing, but imagine following through with them. Listen to a song or something- Amp yourself up. God, listening to my music just gets me crazy. When I hear something I’ve forgotten about, something with meaning and fire, it reminds me of all the aspirations I have. I want to travel, I want to fall in and out of love, I want to experience sheer tragedy and come out alive, and taste the gold life has to offer. I want to soar, I want to do something ridiculous. And you know what? I’m going to. **** right I am. It’s all about risks. You find one, and you take it. You put aside everything that stands in front of you shouting to stop and you just plunge into it. And it feels GOOD. Sometims we just forget.. that’s all. And we start to sink into this coma, but you have to understand that getting out of it is crucial. You need to do something for yourself. Don’t suffice for a boring sport or hobby…. just do something insane. And you won’t forget it. Then the next time life has you in a chokehold, you suddenly remember, oh yeah, I don’t have to be doing this.

Anyway, I don’t know if that really helped.
Sometimes I just classify my thoughts and completely ****** up and useless
But, you know what? I could care less. I’m lovin’ life.

I know this feeling. I know it very well. Your mind can be one of the most dangerous places to wander; I've always been a victim of thinking too much, subconsciously, too. If I had a choice, I'd be combpletely oblivous to all of these problems. Ignorance is bliss, right? I'm a tad envious of all the idiots in the world that fail to realize what's warping their daily lives. Sometimes I just want to freeze everything and forget about it. If time would simply give me a second to catch up, I wouldn't feel so horrible wasting it while I try to fit the pieces together. And continuely fail.. it's endless effort that produces nothing. I get so sick of stressing and worrying all of the goddamn time, but it's like a necessity. If you don't focus on these little things that eat away at you, what the hell happens? It's a vicious cycle. You ignore it, and then it just bites you harder in the *** the next time around. And you waste your time trying to figure what little you know about life out, and place it all together, and then it just gets so tiresome you give up again.

But what I always end up telling myself is that it's all mental.
Everything.

You have the power to choose; you can choose to be happy. You can choose to do something with your life... and after you do it- you can CHOOSE to enjoy it.

I stand strong on my belief that a person can convince themselves of a feeling if they truly want to. You CAN make yourself get up. Dreams seem amazing, but imagine following through with them. Listen to a song or something- Amp yourself up. God, listening to my music just gets me crazy. When I hear something I've forgotten about, something with meaning and fire, it reminds me of all the aspirations I have. I want to travel, I want to fall in and out of love, I want to experience sheer tragedy and come out alive, and taste the gold life has to offer. I want to soar, I want to do something ridiculous. And you know what? I'm going to. **** right I am. It's all about risks. You find one, and you take it. You put aside everything that stands in front of you shouting to stop and you just plunge into it. And it feels GOOD. Sometims we just forget.. that's all. And we start to sink into this coma, but you have to understand that getting out of it is crucial. You need to do something for yourself. Don't suffice for a boring sport or hobby.... just do something insane. And you won't forget it. Then the next time life has you in a chokehold, you suddenly remember, oh yeah, I don't have to be doing this.

Anyway, I don't know if that really helped.
Sometimes I just classify my thoughts and completely ****** up and useless
But, you know what? I could care less. I'm lovin' life.

This account has been deactivated.

jamacalisan #
An Unknown Location | 3 years, 2 months ago (10 months, 3 weeks after post)

wow its nice….thinks a lot…i know its big help to me

This account has been deactivated.

jess_dian 0 #
An Unknown Location | 3 years ago (1 year, 1 month after post)

Have you looked up obsessional thinking at all?

I would suggest you do.. cognitive behavioural therapy can help with this sorta thing. Yoga is good.. and mediation also

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