Mental Preoccupation …

Rand0

Mental Preoccupation …

With thinking.. thinking about things, thinking about how to think properly. Thinking about praying, thinking about prayer, thinking about good and being good, praying that I will be good, that I will act good and think good things.

Thinking about myself and my relationships, prioritizing my thinking over everything else. Living in my head, living in my bed, in my dreams, trying to sleep all day and all night, taking three baths in the day just to keep myself calm.

Avoiding my work. Worrying about my problems. Obsessing over my inequities, arguing with my father, arguing with myself over the causes of the problems, musing on solutions, finding answers in habits of thought, establishing new habits of thought, finding myself obsessing over newly estblished habits of thought, finding that the new habits don’t activate me any more than the old ones.

Thinking about drugs and side-effects, feeling the drugs working in my head, feeling calm and full but wondering if they will work in the way I need them to.

Arguing with my dad, worrying and worrying and worrying and worrying, as if it were a hobby, as if I am gaining something through years and years of isolation, of personal thinking… never getting anywhere in life.

Thinking that what I think has some importance or relevance to the world, thinking that I am someone special, or would be if only I could stop thinking and start doing, or, more aptly, start finishing the things I start.

Worrying about myself. Incessantly. Worrying about my position and my lack of industry. Worried, scared, helpless…

This open post was written 6 months, 3 weeks ago | V/U/S: 317, 6, 4 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

Reciprocity (0)

Since writing this post Rand0 may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. Rand0 is a verified member, has been around for 1 year, 7 months and has 138 posts and 1,818 replies to their name.

Post Tags (0)

This post has no tags. Please, help out and add some! (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

Replies (6)

Where were you?

Click and drag to move the map around. FAQ: How we place people on this map »
You can also watch events on Help.com as they happen

Mouse over the map for 2 seconds to see an expanded, interactive view

okei! 102 #
An Undisclosed Location | 6 months, 3 weeks ago (53 minutes after post)

why worry? u dont accomplish anything w/ that. u let fear kill u, ur determination & ur dreams. ur afraid of something not yet in ur face. would it change anything w/ much worrying?! of course not!

quit worrying. idk if u read d bible, but in it Jesus told his ppl that they shld not worry abt tomorrow. today has sufficient worries for itself. faith in urself and faith in God might help u pull urself up & quit worrying

Help me with: w/c is harder, to learn to love someone u don’t love or to wait 4 d one u love, hoping someday he’ll love u back?

Rand0 9 #
An Unknown Location | 6 months, 3 weeks ago (1 hour, 26 minutes after post)

okei! wrote:
why worry? u dont accomplish anything w/ that. u let fear kill u, ur determination & ur dreams. ur afraid of something not yet in ur face. would it change anything w/ much worrying?! of course not!

quit worrying. idk if u read d bible, but in it Jesus told his ppl that they shld not worry abt tomorrow. today has sufficient worries for itself. faith in urself and faith in God might help u pull urself up & quit worrying

It’s an obsessive thinking problem. People just don’t understand. I’m unable to do anything but think about myself. I can distract myself - but I can’t GIVE my attention to other things for very long… it’s crappy. That’s why I’ve been stuck for months and months going round and round in circles. It’s kind of like obsessive selfishness… but quite subtle.

okei! 102 #
An Undisclosed Location | 6 months, 3 weeks ago (1 hour, 32 minutes after post)

ya. ppl wont really understand, cause they are not u. u basically know ur condition, so u cud probably come up w/ d best possible solutions. and work on it. u think way tooooooo much. dont u hv something worthy to occupy ur mind, ie. work/ study/ worthy activites, sports?!

Help me with: w/c is harder, to learn to love someone u don’t love or to wait 4 d one u love, hoping someday he’ll love u back?

Anonymous #
6 months, 2 weeks ago (3 days, 17 hours after post)

ah yesh, this procrastonation that gives little or no satisfaction whatsoever but is addictive at a destructive level. Making no progress, and feeling that looming sense that I should get the heck off this site >. It’s so overwhelming but not enough make me stop typing, and delving into other peoples lives, and issues, rather than face my own.
This feeling makes me dizzy.
This feeling is inescapable for me and consuming and deteriorating all aspects of my life. When/If you find the cure on how to focus productively lemme know
E

Rand0 9 #
An Unknown Location | 6 months, 2 weeks ago (3 days, 21 hours after post)

Anonymous wrote:
ah yesh, this procrastonation that gives little or no satisfaction whatsoever but is addictive at a destructive level. Making no progress, and feeling that looming sense that I should get the heck off this site >. It’s so overwhelming but not enough make me stop typing, and delving into other peoples lives, and issues, rather than face my own.
This feeling makes me dizzy.
This feeling is inescapable for me and consuming and deteriorating all aspects of my life. When/If you find the cure on how to focus productively lemme know
E

Yeah, just quit everything else that you’re not meant to be doing and focus on that which you are meant to be doing.

ra #
An Unknown Location | 4 months, 1 week ago (2 months, 2 weeks after post)

This account has been deactivated.

Invite Others to Help

A logged in and verified Help.com member has the ability to setup a Friends List and invite others to help with posts.

Mental Preoccupation … - Help.com