My rant for the day:
In the last several years a hot topic of discussion and media forums has become out of control children. Television shows such as Supernanny and Nanny 911 are prime examples of how common it has become for children to be disrespectful and aggressive. What is the source of this? There are several possible explanations.
A substantial portion of today’s parents no longer pay attention to their children, but instead focus on how much attention their children can draw to them. I see moms step up and take the role of the “good parent” when others are watching, only to return to distractions when no one is there to impress.
Having a baby is no longer about the joy of bringing another life into the world, but rather the joy of being smothered in attention. From showers, pregnancy and birth announcements to online updates and blogging, before a child is even born it is clear that the goal is not only to have the baby but to gain plenty of attention during and after the birth. Parents are posting pictures, full names and birth dates of their little bundles of joy all over their internet blogs, posing what I see as a huge threat to the future personal security and safety of that child.
The internet, in the last ten years, has become a new hunting ground for pedophiles. Posting albums with two-hundred plus photos of your child in their home, at school, sports practice and out to dinner is a blatant disregard for safety. This seems like a fundamental error in judgment that has instead turned into common practice among parents.
Not only are parents exploiting their innocent, voiceless children, but they exploit themselves in the process. Sadly, many are completely unaware of the repercussions of their actions. Myspace and Facebook are perfect examples of this problem, common nicknames including “mommy to be”, “(child’s name)’s Mommy” and others. Parents are now using their children as their personal identity.
Another disturbing reality is that parents don’t just use the internet to exploit their children and draw attention to themselves, but also public settings such as restaurants, grocery stores and shopping malls.
An example of this behavior can be seen when a child is throwing a hysterical tantrum in a restaurant and there is little to no response from the parent(s). The assumption could be made that the parents either do not realize the kind of imposition it is for others to endure a shrieking child or they want to draw attention to themselves by letting the situation get as out of control as possible. That is an extreme, but rather common example.
More subtle but equally as troublesome scenarios include children being allowed to run from table to table in a restaurant, to walk by themselves in a store rather than holding hands or being held by a parent and being given too much control over any given situation. Furthermore, it is entirely inappropriate to expect a stranger to be comfortable with someone else’s child invading their personal space.
One might begin to question how it became socially acceptable to behave with such disregard to safety and respect. Children are constantly absorbing information and learning. Every waking moment is molding their personality and character. Encouraging disrespectful behavior when your child is one or two could be an explanation of why that child continues with disrespectful behavior throughout their childhood, well into their teens and possibly adulthood.
The current state of things now seem a direct result of rewarding negative behavior with positive attention. Laughing is positive attention and children seek to please. Perhaps one can identify with the hypothetical of a child who repeats a behavior until it deeply annoys a parent, simply because they got a laugh the first time they did it.
It is difficult to assume what experiences will stick with a child as they grow into adults, but it is obvious that disrespectful behavior sticks with a person once allowed or encouraged. An example of this is when parents delight and laugh at a toddler with attitude until the attitude becomes a behavioral problem in primary school. Not often is the relation between these incidents noted, but I believe there is a strong connection.
In conclusion, some parents are no longer in control and have seemingly shirked responsibility for their children’s actions. This could be a result of the media changing our perspective and values, but it is clear that children are gaining dominance in the parent-child relationship.
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diver edited this post 6 months ago. Read the previous text »
My rant for the day:
In the last several years a hot topic of discussion and media forums has become out of control children. Television shows such as supernanny and nanny 911 are prime examples of how common it has become for children to be disrespectul and agressive. What is the source of this? There are several possible explanations.
A substantial portion of today’s parents no longer pay attention to their children, but instead focus on how much attention their children can draw to them. I see moms step up and take the role of the “good parent” when others are watching, only to return to distractions when no one is there to impress.
Having a baby is no longer about the joy of bringing another life into the world, but rather the joy of being smothered in attention. From showers, pregnancy and birth announcements to online updates and blogging, before a child is even born it is clear that the goal is not only to have the baby but to gain plenty of attention during and after the birth. Parents are posting pictures, full names and birthdates of their little bundles of joy all over their internet blogs, posing what I see as a huge threat to the future personal security and safety of that child.
The internet, in the last ten years, has become a new hunting ground for pedophiles. Posting albums with two-hundred plus photos of your child in their home, at school, sports practice and out to dinner is a blatent disregard for safety. This seems like a fundamental error in judgement that has instead turned into common practice among parents.
Not only are parents exploiting their innocent, voiceless children, but they exploit themselves in the process. Sadly, many are completely unaware of the repercussions of their actions. Myspace and facebook are perfect examples of this problem, common nicknames including “mommy to be”, “(child’s name)’s Mommy” and others. Parents are now using their children as their personal identity.
Another disturbing reality is that parents don’t just use the internet to exploit their children and draw attention to themselves, but also public settings such as restaurants, grocery stores and shopping malls.
An example of this behavior can be seen when a child is throwing a hysterical tantrum in a restaurant and there is little to no response from the parent(s). The assumption could be made that the parents either do not realize the kind of imposition it is for others to endure a shreiking child or they want to draw attention to themselves by letting the situation get as out of control as possible. That is an extreme, but rather common example.
More subtle but equally as troublesome scenarios include children being allowed to run from table to table in a restaurant, to walk by themselves in a store rather than holding hands or being held by a parent and being given too much control over any given situation. Furthermore, it is entirely inappropriate to expect a stranger to be comfortable with someone else’s child invading their personal space.
One might begin to question how it became socially acceptable to behave with such disregard to safety and respect. Children are constantly absorbing information and learning. Every waking moment is molding their personality and character. Encouraging disrespectful behavior when your child is one or two could be an explanation of why that child continues with disrespectful behavior throughout their childhood, well into their teens and possibly adulthood.
The current state of things now seem a direct result of rewarding negative behavior with positive attention. Laughing is positive attention and children seek to please. Perhaps one can identify with the hypothetical of a child who repeats a behavior until it deeply annoys a parent, simply because they got a laugh the first time they did it.
It is difficult to assume what experiences will stick with a child as they grow into adults, but it is obvious that disrespectful behavior sticks with a person once allowed or encouraged. An example of this is when parents delight and laugh at a toddler with attitude until the attitude becomes a behavioral problem in primary school. Not often is the relation between these incidents noted, but I believe there is a strong connection.
In conclusion, some parents are no longer in control and have seemingly shirked responsibility for their children’s actions. This could be a result of the media changing our perspective and values, but it is clear that children are gaining dominance in the parent-child relationship.
Mr. P
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