poetry help: poem..everything was perfect. - Help.com

yes, we all suffered, Just a little too innocent and ignorant of the world I think.

Eddieee wrote:
Love knows not what it does or asks, I think…..I think you are strong and have shared much here……more than I could ever do. Sorry XOXOXO As always I am in awe.

ameliaearthlin wrote:
yes, we all suffered, Just a little too innocent and ignorant of the world I think.

u r too kind.. My past has aged my soul. I am wiser for it.
A ox

me too.
And yes this site has attracted a lot of old souls.
As a tourtured soul is often an old one, as is a giving personality.. it is our reason for being.
And fate is a hard battle to win.

I want to go back to basics.
I want to live off the land completly.
I want real friends who really care and a little commuity near by where we all know each other
Where time doesnt matter
And there is no illnesses or diease.

I think we have as much mental illness in our world as we do because of the way we live now. A person can feel so insignificant next to a million others.

SpazzySpizzy wrote:
thats beautiful.ur words went straight through my heart.amazing.

thanks hun!

Im not a victim anymore, I wrote that when I was in my early teens.
I share them now cause I am srong enough too, many on her are going though that horrible time in their lives, I share to show them then and now… I want to be their hope.

thank u pink sparkle

Anonymous wrote:
Expressing yourself does wonders… but from a publishing POV your no Jack Kerouac… Just being honest. I scour the web for talent. I see pain but no talent. Ouch it’s my job… I have no talent but I do have an eye.

haah yeah I was only very young when I wrote that, I wont quit my day job.. I love it too much lol

BlackDahlia56 wrote:
There’s a lot of pain and emotion in it. I like it though, it’s impressive.

thanks hun, it was b4 I started cutting. I was in depression then at only 14.
There are more poems on my profile from when I was cutting if u really want to see… they are not happy poems tho lol

[quote grewfe]Git over yerself[/quote

Im not up myself. I am very grounded thanks.
What makes u say that?

fenderman31 wrote:
That’s a really powerful poem.

I must say, if I were you, I would continue writing.

You can see you going somewhere :D

thank u so much for your comment. I will write again. except this time I have over 10 more years experience to put into them. thanks hun

Barbyman wrote:
+Hi Amelia just come to reed your Poem.Didn’T think you had it in you !!This hidden Talent.That is how i made my Entrance to help .com .I was looking for words of Wisdom almost 2 years ago.Look here, i’m still here looking for words and wisdom.Very nicely written .Even it was written long time ago ,reminded me as a Child running freely in the Wind on Sand and Dirt not feeling the Stones and Pebbles
bare footed.Some of it gives me Ideas to keep writing Songs.Put them all together and make a little Booklet copy wright and publish..Ill help you to do this if you want..

you are so kind. I remember running on dirt not feeling the stones in bare feet, I have started doing it again.
I miss being a child.
It was so pure.
I was terribly young when I wrote that, I share tyhem now, as I didnt share till now. I plan to write again.
I am having some time off work soon. And am feeling creative. Say in touch I’d be delighted to help write booklet or compile some poems with your help.

green_moon_91 wrote:
thats really good. it flows..

thank u green moon

joekannapa wrote:
It is a beautiful poem, reading through the poem and all the comments, I feel well it wasnt just I who felt that way about life, about loosing my innocence and about “growing” to fit into the adult world

thanks for your comment
This poet too felt the loss off innocence. About not wanting to turn away from childhood.
Never forget what it was like being a child hun. It was a magical time.
Axo

THE BAY by James K Baxter

On the road to the bay was a lake of rushes
Where we bathed at times and changed in the bamboos.
Now it is rather to stand and say:
How many roads we take that lead to Nowhere,
The alley overgrown, no meaning now but loss:
Not that veritable garden where everything comes easy.

And by the bay itself were cliffs with carved names
And a hut on the shore beside the Maori ovens.
We raced boats from the banks of the pumice creek
Or swam in those autumnal shallows
Growing cold in amber water, riding the logs
Upstream, and waiting for the taniwha.

So now I remember the bay and the little spiders
On driftwood, so poisonous and quick.
The carved cliffs and the great outcrying surf
With currents round the rocks and the birds rising
A thousand times an hour is torn across
And burned for the sake of going on living.
But I remember the bay that never was
And stand like stone and cannot turn away.

Joshuarr-chan wrote:
i love this poem and the way it portrais lifes problems as the sky suddenly turning dark and the world feeling dirty and kinda abused. also how the children deal with there problems shows that everyone is different in the way they show emotion and figure out whats wrong with there life. then how to fix it :) 10/10 (y)

wow I havent got a score like that for…. ages lol
Its true story. We all coped with the loss differently.
Thanks heaps.

sparkel6 wrote:
that waz good wow

thank u very much

alli_clark wrote:
Very talented writing, an emotional piece. I’ll bookmark that ;)

Thank u. It was a very emotional moment in time.

thank u hun

Ivyyy wrote:
Thats really beautiful. I think that maybe you should try to find another word instead of perfect. But besides that its lovely!

thanks Ivyyy

thanks I wrote it when I was very young, Im not good at finishing poems or art tho lol… great at starting tho!

Haha… I haven’t written for over 10 years. Mayb one day I will. There is some more old ones on my profile.. they are a little dark tho..
Thanks for your advice I agree but probably wont get round to changing it lol..

Wheres your poems hun.. just checked your profile..

I write when Im very emotional… I went on antidepressants and now my moods are pretty level.. which is good and bad.
I could write again, but its like opening feelings when I do.. guess Im scared to in a way lol..

U should post a poem u have done!

Click on the pic of me and it will open up my profile… under my posts are more poems.. but they are depressing ones… and over 10 years old also

Ivyyy wrote:
i will defintly read them asap. I know its scary sometimes writing whats going on inside and i understand your apprehension. However, there are happy poems out there too. Why dont you change your writing MO. Next time your happy write a poem. See what happens? It’s a shame you dont continue to write. You’ve been evolving a lot these past 10 years im sure. Just imagine what can pour out of you now that your in a better place??? I will def post some poems once i get settled down on this web site. All my poems are handwritten. So i have to transmit them onto the computer. LOL

cool look 4ward 2 it, send me an invite when u post.
Great chatting to u hun.
Axo

osama_rabee wrote:
it just like u ……………………wonderful

aww thanks hun!!!!

osama_rabee wrote:
no words can tell

agree.. words are cheep. If a pictures worth a thousand of them a feeling is worth a million.

ℓινιηg4уσυ wrote:
sorry if its late but nice poem and sad poem

haha never 2 late hun! Thanks!

lomree wrote:
Wow, Amelia, your poem is beautiful. I noticed that someone made a comment that you were no Jack Kerouac, but that’s okay we’ll let Jack be Jack. Your an original, you clearly touched a lot of people with it here. I don’t know what happened but judging from the words in the poem, things were obviously very painful and rough, but you rose above it; you have the right attitude. Those dark nights of the soul, they’re either going to break you, or they’re going to make you. You take care of yourself honey, you have a remarkable talent, no matter what anyone else says, it is remarkable, and you are beautiful. Keep smiling…L..;-)

Wow thank u so very much! I was young when I wrote that.. It was the hardest time of my life. And I had a mental breakdown at 15. But yes I am strong now. I put this poem here as a way to say to others.. I have felt the lowest of lows and am still standing and am stronger than ever.
Thanks again, your kind words made my day.
Axo

lomree wrote:
Your welcome honey. 15, wow, you clearly had it rough; we have something in common. It seems like once you got it figured out something else comes up, I am going through a dark night of the soul right now. (Check my post, please: http://help.com/post/317392-im-seekin…)

By the way, I hope you don’t my asking, but how old are you? You look so young in your picture…;-)…L

haha thanks.. Ill be 30 years old in a week. Still get asked 4 I.D lol

lomree wrote:
30!? WOW! You don’t look a day over 18…thanks for the friend, by the way, how do do that? I can’t find the friend button on here…LOL…L

go and click on account admin next to public profile at the top of this page and click that, then click on friends…
To request anyone else as a friend u can click on that pic of a little person next to their name on the right of the megaphone icon. That sends them a request.
Good luck!

Caittyy wrote:
i think its reallyy good =]

thank u caittyy!

unique.life wrote:

ameliaearthlin wrote:
me too.
And yes this site has attracted a lot of old souls.
As a tourtured soul is often an old one, as is a giving personality.. it is our reason for being.
And fate is a hard battle to win.

I want to go back to basics.
I want to live off the land completly.
I want real friends who really care and a little commuity near by where we all know each other
Where time doesnt matter
And there is no illnesses or diease.

I think we have as much mental illness in our world as we do because of the way we live now. A person can feel so insignificant next to a million others.

Amazingly said.

Thank u