Anonymous
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6 months, 2 weeks ago (4 minutes after post)
i have no idea. i have my dad in my life, and a mum, but they are separated. i think it would be best is my @$$hole of a dad was out my life and i wouldnt feel much about it XD, i think its b.c the people around them talk about their dads, and they feel left out or summin… i have this one girl i know, her mum died when she was 1, and on her msn its says ‘miss you mummy, 1959-1996′ she didnt even know the woman…
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Because some people liked their fathers. Most would have at least liked to have been able to get to know them. My dad was my best friend. Still is. But he is in prison now for murder. People make mistakes, yeah.
Some people can’t choose the right person. It sounds like your mom attracts/and is attracted to, the worst kind of people. So it’s not your fault, you’re right. It’s your moms. She chose silly people to be with.
You have to understand that not all people are the same and some fathers are good fathers who raise their children well. I’m sorry yours obviously was not like that.
i think its one of thoes things like if u have blond hair u want it brown, and if u have brown hair u want it blond. ur never happy with what u have.
I never had a dad, instead I got an abusive step dad that had nothing to do with me, and I love. I would not be who I am today with not having a father figure, and plus I get along better with women. I never complain or ***** one second about it, I accept what is.
It’s nice to finally hear some sane views, from fatherless people. I guess people want the idea of a loving, caring parent, and forget to reason why their’s left. I feel for you Rocco.
some people need that protection in their life, if youve never had a dad surely you would want to know how it feels to have one there for you…and if they have been through a divorce …and now dont see thier dad, it will be hard for them, so i think its pretty reasonable fot them to feel sorry for themselves. You however have only experienced bad things with the father figures and have been through 3 dads, all of which you didnt like, which makes you feel like theyre useless. However you did have a mother in your life, now think of it without her in it, think of her leaving and you having to live with “dad 1,2,or 3″ then im pretty sure you too would be thinking “woe is me” and wouldnt feel the way you do now. people are entitle to their own opinions, so judging and criticizing them is hardly fair.
I think what your saying about people who don’t have fathers should stop complaining is bull! All because you had three father figures in your life that weren’t so great doesn’t mean that people without fathers should feel like everythings ok. How would you feel if you never knew who your mother was would you just say whatever she didn’t want me so I don’t care? I don’t think so. I’m 15 and I havnt seen my father in 10 years and personally not a day goes by that I don’t think of him and want to cry. yes he walked out of my life but I know for a fact that if he was still in my life I wouldn’t be suicidal at the age of 15 I wouldn’t be out searching for Any boy to love me then they end up using me then throwing me to the side. So before you start mAking accusations look at it from somebody elses point of view because the grass is not always greener on the other side!
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I know jwashingtonwh has been deactivated, but I need to point out to others that this is exactly what I’m talking about. It appears she thinks her father walked out on her. He doesnt want to be there, so why do you want someone that doesnt want to be with you? Did he walk out on you, or did he walk out on your mother?? Is that a distinction you can make? The realisation I’ve made, is that I dont NEED a father. You can WANT a father all you want, but when you realise you can live your own life, you dont want them so much anymore.
Dads can suck. But good Dads are all the rage.
The Father Figure is a classic archetype that, really, will never go away, no matter how much you want it to. And I’ll bet a fiver that you look up to some older male figure who isn’t your Dad as a means of compensating for the loss. Because by the end of the day, there is a boy out there who needs to be taught how to be a man, and a little girl who needs to be told she’s a princess.
So who’s your Father Figure? Is it an uncle? A teacher? Maybe you’ve never met him before. An actor, perhaps? A musician? An author? What dude do you look up to?
My mum tought me most everything I needed. I had lots of men around that I could ask questions, and I had a really tight knit group of male friends through high school. But now I’m a father, I realised the most important thing I learnt from other men was what not to do, both in relationships, as a father, and in general.
I guess there were a few guy’s that tried to help out (an uncle taught me how to stand up to pee) but most of my role models were my peer group around me.
There you go. That’s your Father Figure. He (or in your case, they) doesn’t have to be an actual father, but everyone needs some male authority figure to look up to in order to make sense of the world.
I think my original point was would you rather have a bad father, or no father at all. With my experience I would rather have no father than have someone who resents being there and puts in no effort at all.
Sure, you can find role models anywhere, but nothing can make up for having a good father
And yet you seem to have found a group of friends and an uncle who has successfully filled in that role of good father where, for you, one was not present. I understand what your point was, but mine was to say that despite biological ties, there can still be men in your life who will fill in the gap that dad left behind.
I’ve only had 1 father like figure in my life. He was my half brother. (shared the same mom but different dads) I only knew my half brother for maybe 2 or 3 years. He killed himself 10 years ago. My mom never dated any men. All she did was talk about how men are bad and I’m on my way to being one. Also in a time of anger she said she wished she had an abortion like my father wanted her too.
This has lead me down a serious road of depression that I’m not sure I’ll ever get out of. I am timid around women. I haven’t had a serious relationship with a women in my life so far. I’m 26 now. I have no respect for myself, I don’t know how to be a man. All my mom taught me was that I was going to be horrible in a relationship. I hold women with such a high regard, that I think it’s disrespectful to even casually talk to any of them. IF I had a child I would be in their life no matter what, but having no father figure in my life has taught me nothing in the world of real relationships. And, on top of that, with my mom being a recluse and “man hater” I don’t even know how to act in a realtionship, or even start one. Its sad to think I’m almost 30 and still have a mind frame of a small boy.
Sure I could try to forge a path of my own as a man, but I’ve never had anyone show me how to do so. No teachers ever wanted to be that to me. They just saw me as a lazy good for nothing kid. I’m smart, but lack the motivation that should have been instilled in me as a child. Now my father is dead (The last time I saw him I THINK iwas like 4), the only other person I saw as a father figure commited suicide.
All you people who think its just easy to act like you’re better off withou have no true knowladge of not having ANY father figure. You may have had bad father figures, showing you what NOT to do as a man, but not having anyone means I don’t really know whats acceptable or not as a man.
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Rocco.
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