Love help: In short, I have to choose between moving to New York City with my wonderful girlfriend, or staying at home to go to graduate school for free. - Help.com

Yeah this sounds pretty rough my friend. Well lets say you do make that trip to New York, are you guys renting an apartment? Who is paying for it, where will you go to school and can you afford it? If you do go is there a chance you can return home? Well basically before you make any decision ask yourself will this be good for my future? It sounds like you have things set at home, but by going to the city you are going into the unknown which might change your life forever.

I think I agree with Lyrical above.

School will always be there, and yes- Moving to NY will change your life dramatically. However, the best parts of my life have always been those rash crazy decisions. They’ve always changed my life for the better. I think I’d regret not taking a risk more then I’d regret not taking the easy way.

However, if you have any real doubts about this girl (IS she too clingy?) then I might reconsider the staying home.

Don’t make the move for her, make the move for you. If you can’t make the move for you- you’ll resent her for having you move… on some level. If you really (sort-of) want to leap into new york life- I highly encourage it. If you really (definitely) want to follow her- I highly encourage it.

However, it almost sounds like you’re choosing between your life and your girlfriends life. If that’s the case, if that’s how you feel- then I say you should stay in school

No. Your future is more important. There are lots of girls everywhere. Educate yourself first then you might find that your girlfriend is not so wonderful and you might meet somebody else more wonderful. Education first before anything else and that goes for relationships with any girls.

Thanks for your kind replies.

After reading your replies I find myself wondering. I feel almost as though I am looking for encouragement to go to New York. I feel good about the replies leaning towards New York, and perhaps a little scared at the replies telling me to go to school. Of course I thank you all, no matter what your replies were. But perhaps it is a telling thing that I respond that way to your advice?

I have never been one for following my heart, always my head. And this is a situation where my heart wants to go to New York, and my mind wants to stay. And I have the potential to regret either decision. I suppose I must decide, what will I regret giving up more?

My parents are opposed to the idea of me moving. If it wasn’t for their disapproval, I would probably have decided to go by now. It’s a difficult thing for me to go against them. I worry that they are right, that it’s a bad decision to move. In my mind it is definitely safer to stay. But it doesn’t feel right just giving up my relationship. It’s true, I will definitely lose her if I stay. But schools will always be around, even if they’re not free. It’s not like I wanted to go to school, it was just offered to me. It’s hard to refuse a free ride, though.

Any more advice would be greatly appreciated. I thank you in advance.

Never put your lovelife ahead of your studies. Your future depends on it!

little nick has no faith in love. He always has a negative outlook on the love posts.

Yeah, School is a nice thing- but I’m in college right now… It almost feels like the waiting ground until your life starts. Why not start it now?

I can promise, years down the road you’ll likely regret (a little) whichever choice you don’t take. Someday (if you go to new York) you’ll have money problems, ones that may have been solved by school. Someday (if you stay in school) You’ll be unhappy with your love life, and think back to that one girl.

So why does it matter which mistake you make?

Your parents are right! It will be easier if you stay in school. Life will be simpler… Your parents want you to have an easy and happy life.

But is that all you want? for it to be easy?

No, littlenick is on the right path! You said she is the love of your life and you are giving up everything to be with her, including paying for her career and everyday expenses, while on the other hand she can’t say the same thing: you are not the love of her life because she is already demanding of either me or go to hell; she is not giving up her career to be with you; she is not going to be able to pay for anything once the money supply is gone. Try it: ask her to stay with you while you do your career studies. If she says no, you know you are not the love of her life. If she really really loved and respected you, she would not have given you ultimatums that she doesn’t believe in long distance relationship. Why can’t she do her career while you do yours and stay together in the meantime? Because you are not the love of her life. If one has to sacrifice everything for love, that love is doomed to death. It has to be a compromise and patience, respect and understanding. Which one of these she showed you in her statements and demands?