You just do it. I have the same problem, but I also know I am a better person when I do help them, even if htey cannot help me. It is my nature and I have learned to live with it. I know it is hard when it seems noone is there for you, but that is when you have to seek others out, not the ones you know wont/arent/cant be there for you…
I’m the exact same and the first time I tried to say no, I trembled and said words that were similar to no, like “I don’t think so”, or “nah”. You just have to take a deep breath, and just say it. If it helps, don’t look at the person when you’re saying. Or just say you’re busy.
This reply has been removed.
I know. I don’t think I do that enough. I am going to try the no thing… How do you pronounce that word? Nnn-Ooo … Did I say it right? LOL
practice on some smaller things, like saying NO to someone you don’t know very well and is a long way away ( maybe even on the internet )
Oh, and give me five dollars…
NO! How was that?
LOL. Thx.
it’s a start.
can you give up time working on that thing you want to do, and do something unimportant for me NOW?
“No one ever helps me when I need it. Like now”
what you want some help with?
Well I my sister asked me to borrow money like a month ago. I gave in, now a month later… No moey yet. I am so broke and she doesn’t even have the nerve to call me back, text me or email me. It’s like I’m a bill collector. She is totally ignoring me. SHe can go to 100$ concerts the bar… but not pay her struggling sister back.
she knows how it is for me too. To make it worse my boyfriend is breathing down my neck over this. Apparently I should only help him :(
ouch, that sucks.
Guess you can only decide how much effort it’s worth trying to get it back. Either way, sounds like you want to make a clear decision not to lend her money again. Do you feel your allowed to say no?
I help out these people so close to me but they don’t even appreciate it. When some one does me a favor I am so greatful that they had time. Why don’t the people around me appreciate anything? I leave myself with nothing just to help them… I’m so stupid. It’s like I’m waiting for them to wake up and its never going to happen. My boyfriend is getting better. But he is only one person.
I think all you need to do is read again what you just wrote, and take it to heart, and then move on.
why don’t they appreciate? because they suck and you all ways let them.
I am definatly going to say no. Family and money don’t mix. I don’t want to lose my sister over this. I love her too much. Even if I don’t get the money back I’m gonna give up soon. I am going to let her know I can’t lend her money anymore. But I don’t want it to affect our relationship, if at all possible. This is gonna make me feel uncomfortable. I can’t just let it go without saying anything else though. I already sent her a bad email. Nothing mean but I think I made her feel bad. I do want her to know its not ok to use me this way. Just because I’m the oldest in my family it doesn’t mean I have to fix everything. And I’m gonna try not to make my families problems all mine.
and your right. I gotta stop letting them suck. I love them all too much for that. they will find help somewhere else. I hope.
train them how to treat you right.
oh, and when you helping me with that urgent unimportant thing?
an idea…
offer to help them manage their finances, offer advice and councilling on how to not run out of money. their ego will kick in, they might step up, and you are still offering them the love
I will. I have already been doing that with my boyfriend. After 5 years I think hes catching on… I think hes just realized that I’m in this for the long haul. LOL. Why do guys dislike relationships so much?
It has just started working for my bf. Things are looking good for us. Now its just my sister… I’m sure she’ll manage.
say what? taht a whole new topic there. gotta head now, but will check in latter.
you have mastered a new way of handling petty request for your help, ignoring them. I guess I’ll just go do that thing all by myself :-)
Whatsername17
chunkymove