Relationships help: I am dating a wonderful woman, however her children have been against me from day one. - Help.com

I am dating a wonderful woman, however her children have been against me from day one.

let me explain:

she’s had previous romances she met online that did not work out. for various reasons. most of them due to her kids not liking how she meets men online. nothing wrong with them, just the kids are so anti-internet meeting of persons.
she works 80+ hours a week does the super mom bit and all, but she also has allowed her kids to run her life, letting them slump from doing much needed chores. now. 168 hours in a week minus 80 theres half a week working alone. averages 6-8 hours a day in sleep thats another 33% of her time. (up to 83% here lets say) now she has to pick up after her teen aged kids that are very smart and capable of looking after themselves by doing chores. so the remaining time in her week is spread sparse by a relationship with myself, her kids, and having to pick up after her spoiled kids. she tried to up the ante to get them to start doing things and they just won’t, and now is dealing with her kids fighting with her because of me. I have done absolutely no wrong to them or her. she’s needed help time and time again, and I was there for her when her kids wouldn’t help her one bit. they all want a new home built, and supermom is busting everything she’s got to make it happen, and I’ve been trying to help out where I can, because the spoiled kids won’t help her out.
(not entirely true she does have one that helps her out a great deal more than given credit for)

I could go on and on here. simply put, the damage is done, and trying to figure out how we all resolve differences. these children are so badly behaved that they have now been disowned by grandparents and other relatives. they constantly complain about how I was “brought into the picture” I mean thats done and over with, I am in there mothers life now, and probably going to be ejected because she will “cave” into her kids whims. at least I hope not, I’m not much to look at, not rich or successful, but have the right qualities for people that are not shallow. and may be rude of me to say this, but her children are that. not capable of thinking of family, just themselves. and I can understand some of it, but a lot stems back to non disciplinary actions, and her kids being who she confides to I am thinking.

let me introduce who YOU are dealing with. if you wish to respond.

Myself: hard working blue collar worker, raised to respect others even if they don’t deserve it. they at least are treated humane. I have no kids of my own, and been a sorrogate dad of sorts through many relationships. never married, have been nearly married 5 times, 2 fiancees have passed away while in relationships. one has been in the last year, I have grieved and yes it was quickly, and I moved on quickly. (the first fiancee to pass away I let myself fall off the face of the earth to say for 2 years, and through friends made a comeback, went to college and etc I was not going to let that happen again.)

supermom: a very decent hard working woman, has many kids (not naming in case they happen to come across this and rip into mom again)

child #1 is old enough to leave the nest, is in post secondary school, very smart. but is very immature. she had to help raise her siblings because supermom had many jobs to pay bills incurred from her past. so the children grew up for a while barely seeing supermom. I figure this child had to learn to be protective for her other siblings. and was there through other failed relations of supermom. this child claims to be christian, and comes across holier than thou, but trust me this person is not. I’m no longer an avid church going person because of people like this. and as much as I miss fellowship with other good christian folk, I don’t miss people that truely aren’t in touch with god the way they should be. faith is supposed to be simple, and god does set trials for us, and this one seems like the tidal wave that took the andrea gail in the perfect storm, but I am going to keep trying.

child #2: Has some quarks about how I was brought into their lives. but is about the most responsible child. actually does their chores if time permits and is pretty good about things if supermom asks. they also didn’t have much of a problem with me, until a recent incident with myself only. I was dieting and taking multiple supplements to lose weight (successfully I may add) however the combination of everything I was taking had caused a side effect of suicidal thoughts, and it got the best of my emotions and caused me to do strange things (online) and for this I lost their respect. but then again, this person is young and has no idea what things lie out there in life to happen, it can happen to anyone. I have sought help discontinued the supplements that caused the effect.

child #3: A very bossy, concieted, self centered, thinks they are all that, and probably secretly disliked by many. also I feel an instigator of a lot of supermoms problems with myself. it would seem if this child doesn’t like anything they tend to rock the boat of everyones life close to them. is horrificly rude, close minded, and non appreciative of things in life. we do not speak to one another although I have in ways tried in shy manners to bridge some of the distance. they wish not to budge. also a very lazy person, wishes not to help supermom achieve anything that they want in life, expects everything to be a given to them.

child #4: another very smart child, but does not follow supermoms orders either. does have some anger issues that need to be addressed as they are now assaulting supermom she may fight back but will not seek proper help to deal with these issues, also will not call in police. should this continue I think supermom will be passive to her children completely, and no longer fight back for herself. they are not happy in life because of missing the other parent, and not getting what they want in life either (materialistic possessions) also puberty and hormones and other good things that come with growing up.

I observe many things, admit I am shy and have a hard time talking to these kids, but as mentioned from the start they were negative about everything, therefore causing me to eventually be negative also. I may not have come half way but these children combined haven’t put enough effort in for me to keep trying either.

This open post was written 6 months, 2 weeks ago | V/U/S: 167, 2, 2 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

Relationships, children, Conflicts (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

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