Repressed Memories…
When I was in second grade I had my tonsils removed. It was a standard procedure and nothing evasive…A week and a half later I was rushed to the hospital. The incision in my throat had burst, and I began bleeding into my lungs. When at the hospital, the doctor felt that there was no time to sedate me, so ordered my mother and my father and three nurses to hold me down. With my parents kneeling on my shoulders, the doctor forced my mouth open and a suction tube into my lungs.
Following this, after night terrors and emotional outbursts, a psychologist diagnosed me with Post Traumatic-Stress Disorder. I received therapy and eventually became healthy.
…at least, this is the story I am told…
I’m nearly 21 now. And I can’t remember this. And I understand that this is normal. That my mind is guarding itself from such painful memories. But my mind seems to be overzealous, because as I sit here now, I cannot seem to remember anything prior to around 5th grade.
Oh I remember the names of my friends, I remember the stories we tell…I just don’t remember the moments. I can’t close my eyes and see the moments of my life, or remember the details.
Whether from the trauma, or something else, I feel that I’ve lost the moments of my life that have made me who I am. I feel as if I cannot move forward with who I should become without remember the moments of my life, however trivial.
Is this normal? Not to remember any details or pictures or physical moments before 13 years of age? I feel as if my entire life has just been a story whose plot I vaguely remember.
My question is, besides therapy, is there anyone who has a way that helps them remember things from their past? And practices or activities, hell I’ll even try mantras, that might help me remember my life?
Thank you for the help…
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