life help: How do you not let things bother you? - Help.com

hey i was reading through your notes, I have the same problem… People at work always think im at fault when anything goes wrong, and im the only woman in the office (and with the lowest rank) so i go home sad and angryall the time trying to come up with how to prove my innocence. I completely understand your dognut analogy. I care about what these people believe because i dont want them to think of me that way… something that works for me… i take these pills my doctor gave me…. they give me a “no worries” attitude. For people like us that cant just tell ourselves not to care and then miraculously we just don’t care, there are other options. I still havent become okay with taking a pill everyday for it, but i have noticed that when i do take my pill, i dont care as much about how they percieve me.

Hi ‘Anonymous’- just to say I feel exactly the same, to the extent of making me ill and I now have a permanent health condition caused by the stress of worrying, and I still can’t stop. Please be careful and try and get it under control. It really is a hard habit to break. 5 months on from these comments, have you learnt anything new? Have to managed to find a technique that helps?
J.

Hi Anonymous…just wanted to let you know that your not alone…I to feel the same way however this problem stops me from having relationships or friends…In the last month I have lost 3 friends (all of which dont know each other)all because they said things about me that weren’t true and when I tried to defend myself I was told that I am too defensive and that I have an attitude just because I didn’t want them to think a certain way about me. Has anything you done helped you?…I would love to be able to deal with my problem just dont know how.

good post, helped me a lot

The only answer to this is to form a better relationship with yourself, if you find yourself over criticized its most likely because you have a third chakra imbalance and find it difficult to identify with who you are and what you stand for. Simply write down a code of ethics or honor that you wish to live by whenever that honor is challenged simply refere to the code and acknowledge the only oppinions worth having are the ones that are in correlation to your standard. others will snip at you but its just their way of learning and testing your theories for relevance, substance at which point your behaviour will probally be emmulated. Be prepared to lose friends, family, relationships of any kind, any time you feel like your channeling frustration or any kind of strong emotion its because your about to experience great change that will require additional energy and ground to form your new plan and experiences.

i think you should write in big letters on A4 paper. I am great1 make a list around your bedroom/batheroom/kitchen of what you actually like about yourself! Things youve achieved (i,e cancer race for life, childbirth, quitting smoking?) and look at them every day! Its a corny film but in pretty woman she says “its easy to beilieve the bad things said, not the good things” or something like that….i believe thats true for most of us down to earth folk! Life is harsh, reality is awful sometimes but hey…..you are who you are! and unless your some very ill, dangerous person, you can help yourself get better!
The person with the doughnuts……let them talk, dont retaliate, and get new friends! ignore the bad, believe the good.
The person with work stress…..f it…if your doing your best and that aint good enough for them, quit! (find another job 1st mind u) but still…get a simple job that pays ok…live to that…
we all take some things too seriously, i for instance can say all this but struggle to believe it - why? because im giving advice and compliments….not recieving it! :-)…you only get 1 life…live it in happiness..

obviously I have the same problem and have been able to calm down on worrying but letting things bother me seems like it will never stop. I have a neighbor that lives above me and she walks around the house like she has two broken hips. i didnt approach her because i moved in after her, but better than that I don’t want to give her any amunition for pissing me off. so I started trying to be very quiet and incognito….then the stomping stopped. Psychology is a wonderful thing.

The things that really bother are extremely hard to shake. I can go from having an amazing day and one little thing can happen and ruin the whole thing. Not only that but it affects relationships with other people at work, friends, and families. It also changes the way I am perceived at work. The stuff that can set me off is so stupid or pointless to worry about and yet I still can’t shake it.

i found in so very very helpful to learn to understand why people are the way they are, to learn about whAT motivates people, drives people to react or be negative or positive, learn abuot the ego yours and others, the world ego even, in its healthy state and imbalanced state, its never ending learning about humanity and its mind sets and where their mind sets may come from and how much influence they may be under due to their own inability to think independantly or to learn about themselves and what makes them tick, its probably why most people get annoyed at one another, your spirit can feel the dump of their load, its easier to project ones self then it is to learn about one self, the day people make learning about themselves priotiry, you won’t feel their negativity as much. until then, explore how you can improve your self worth on a much deeper level so that it creates a gap for their comments or behaviour to dissipate in before it reaches your private space, a psychological gap, all the best