divorce help: My boyfriend is going through a nasty divorce with a crazy girl. - Help.com

I would imagine you would be able to live together now. They are legally separated and you would be doing those kids a favor by somehow trying to show them a stable environment. IN the meantime, your boyfriend should really try to get full custody of the children and maybe, must maybe, just visitation rights for her. You don’t want to cut the children off completely from their mother. However, once those kids get used to you and the good treatment you are going to give them, they may not want to see her again. It’s worth a shot.

thank you so much. I really would never do anything to “try” and take her place which is what she thinks I am trying to do. But I love those kids and all she is doing is talking smack about me to the kids and talking badly about my 5 yr old son-(called him a f*g),I just feel like all her lies are going to make them not like me or make them mad at me and their dad. I just hate that this whole situation was not his fault and now he is left fighting for whats right.

I seriously agree with what littlenick is saying. And yes once the divorce is final, you two can do whatever you want legally, you just have to decide what’s best for everyone involved at that point.

You have to strong and fight fire with fire. If she is bent on poisoning her own children against you and your kid and your boyfriend, she’s not above anything else. So you have to play your cards very close the vest.

I really appreciate this help. I just found this website. I just need help, she has come in between us once, and he has no other family. His mother is dead, and his father not around, I want to be there for him but it’s really hard dealing with this girl. Really trying to be strong, and thank you littlenick for inviting people to read mine :) It is truly appreciated and I am trying to figure out how to help others too :)

She cheated on him numerous times during their marriage, and it was ultimately her fault why he is now unable to see his kids except every other weekend.
–People who screw up their lives by making mistakes always want to blame other people and because they are now miserable with the poison and screwed up lives they have, they want to make others miserable. That is the case with this pathetic woman.

They have 2 children together, 7 & 5.
–There are always innocents involved and those people who screw up don’t care about anything or anybody other than themselves and always try to find ways to use the children to get back at their spouse or partner without worrying about what trauma they’re going to cause on them.

We have a very adult relationship, I do not spend the night when he has the children.
–You are to be commended for that. That shows that you take the kids’ feelings into consideration and what they might think if daddy is sleeping with another woman. Not too many women would care about another woman’s children.

We take the kids, and my 5 year old to fun events and the park, etc. She cannot stand the fact that he is actually with someone now..they have been seperated almost their year and I am the only woman he has brought around those children.
–Sounds like a man who’s very level headed and worries about the effect on the children.

Her, on the other hand, has brought 10-15 men around the kids in the past year.
–Sounds like a very insecure and selfish woman who’s constant need for companionship–from anybody–will never let her get established in this life or even try to provide a future for her children. Bottom line, she does not care about those children because they remind her of your boyfriend.

She is the most vendictive girl I have ever encountered.
–People like this never see the light of day or their own twisted reasoning and only care about how good they feel when they take revenge and get whatever they can get. To them it’s a pleasure to cause pain and discomfort to others. She’s just plain psychotic.

I have finally convinced him to pursue more custody of the children, and we are documenting these things she keeps doing…. telling her kids lies about their father and making them cry before school…. he is such a wonderful father and what she is doing to these children is detrimental to them.
–Keep a log and document everything. And I mean everything! If a dog barks on the street when she’s around, write it down. Once your boyfriend goes to family court to convince a family judge to let him have the kids, all the records and documentation should be there to back his claims up.

She is destroying them in so many ways and I cannot sit back any longer and allow this to go on..
–If she is not stopped she will drestroy them. Their well being depends on how quick those kids can be taken away from her.

So I am happy he is going to start building the case… I do have a question. We live in SC and I am wondering if he keeps custody or partial custody of the kids, will we be able to live together once the divorce is final? She does not have an attorney and I do not think she will be able to afford to fight it in court once divorce is final. Especially once the judge sees all this proof of her being an unfit parent. The kids are not mature enough to deal with her emotional unstability..

—She is very unstable and she will not improve. Keep up whatever you’re doing for those children and make sure you try to provide them with a stable home and environment.

once I am verified I can give you a shoutout! thank you! u are the best!

I hope I helped you! :)

I don’t see much point in lashing out at this other woman. She’s obviously extremely damaged. Using her own tactics against her just reinforces her belief that that is the only way to deal with problems.

Why not be the better person and take things to a higher level of problem-solving that delivers the respect that she so craves but is unable to give herself because she’s never experienced it?

And what would that higher level be? I have already not gone and beat the crap out of her so I think thats being the bigger person..

Since I posted this, we have gained word that her new boyfriend cursed at their 5 year old and told her to “stfu”- and she was also drunk driving with the children on memorial day… along with a cocaine habbit for the past month. I’d venture to say that she needs to be stopped…

I takes two people to break up a family, not one! If she cheated.. there was already something wrong with the marriage! your being judgmental, probably not even part of what your saying is true. you just don’t want him to pay out money! mind your own life and child! how are you getting this info.. questioning the kids??? shame on you!!

Wrong, I do not question the kids AT ALL. They constantly come to me and tell me the horrible things their mother does and says to them/ puts them in the middle of. He actually pays everything for the kids, she just wants the money for herself. You don’t know all the facts so actually you can mind your own business. Things have calmed down alot since this post and I am THANKFUl for it. It’s horrible putting children in the middle of what is an “adult situation” and I have NEVER done that. I am all for him paying for his children, NOT her drug habbits, and her taking his money and not paying for the kids. You sound oh so guilty. Grow up.

And also I would like to say she called him up one morning before school and said “i just made *** cry before school, hahahaha” how motherly is that? I was standing right there I see what she is doing to the children.

jacinda2626 wrote:
You don’t know all the facts so actually you can mind your own business.

If you ask for help on an internationally public website you’re going to get comments and suggestions you may not immediately agree with.

Please treat other posters with respect. However much you may not like what they say, they are trying, in their own way, to give you some kind of assistance. That doesn’t mean you will feel good about it. But they did take the effort to try.

I agree with that I just feel like people should not try to be so one sided with their input and accusations when they are in the wrong and chose to pick out their “take” on what actually is going on when it is furthest from it. Whats the point? to start an internet fight? Thats not why I posted my issue at hand. But thank you for the post.