um well something I’m writing now is…
I could feel my body shaking, like an earthquake was going through me. My breath unsteady, even though I was calm. I’d gotten used to it… the darkness, the smell, the taste, or a least my body had. My head hadn’t caught up yet. My head was throbbing so hard I was sure that you could see it growing bigger, only to shrink and repeat the process. No one seemed to notice though, except for me. Then again they might’ve just been ignoring it…giving me no notice. I think that’s their plan. Ignore me ’til I go insane. I hated to think it, let alone admit it was true, that their plan was working. That I was slowly going insane.
I pushed the thought to the back of my mind. I couldn’t think like that. I was going to be fine. They would find me. They always found me.
I didn’t have the best luck. 15 years and always in trouble. No matter what I did, who I hung out with, where I was, it didn’t make a difference. I always ended up lost and alone. I couldn’t be boring if my life depended on it and it seemed, especially now, that my life did.
Even now kidnapped and held hostage I was going to get myself in trouble. I could see them playing poker a few feet away. I started humming. It was just a song I’d heard on the radio, the day they kidnapped me. I had good memory with music and I could remember the entire song, lyrics and beat included. I was quiet at first so they wouldn’t hear me. But I got louder every second and too soon I was singing. That got there attention.
Anyone who met me knew I was a danger magnet. I attracted danger like there was no tomorrow.
The people who hear of me always assume I was in a gang, I did drugs, I was suicidal. I’ve never been in a gang. Never done drugs and despite popular belief I’m not suicidal. I may not like my life, but I like living.
At first they just told me to shut up. I didn’t and 5 minutes later I was being approached by the one of the guys at the poker table. He was healthy. He obviously lifted weights. He was tall too, maybe 6 feet. Brown eyes and black spiked hair.
I don’t think he would have approached me if I wasn’t annoying him so much, with my singing. After all they ignored everything else I did.
“Do you know what shut up means?” He asked. His voice was smooth, musical almost. He didn’t ask like you would expect. He could have asked for a pencil in the same tone and I would have thought nothing of it.
Most hostages stay quiet almost silent when this happens to them but me, I’m not most hostages.
“Generally to be quiet, but I’m thinking you’re referring to 5 minutes ago. So shut up would mean to stop signing.”
“So why didn’t you?”
“I have issues with being ordered around.”
“Well then would you please stop singing while my friends and I play poker? It’s quite distracting.”
“Just while you play poker?”
“Yeah.”
“I can sing all I want, just…”
“later.” he finished for me. “You have a beautiful voice. I’m sure a few of us will prefer it to the silence that usually consumes the place.”
“Well then by all means continue your game, I can wait.” I smiled sweetly.
“Thank you.” He smiled politely and walked back to the game. I watched the rest of the game silently. There were three guys playing. They didn’t really look like brothers but they treated each other as brothers and I don’t mean fraternity brothers or best friends so close they’re almost brothers. The acted like brothers, that shared a mom and dad and grew up together. Thinking about it, I couldn’t help envy them a little. To have a family that loved you. Staying in one town longer than a year. I shook it off.
The tallest one had the most muscles. He could have been a body builder. He looked like the protecter, but I couldn’t be sure. If I had learned anything it was that appearances meant nothing no matter how little they were. He had dark brown hair and electric blue eyes. His hair was a buzz cut, I think. Guys hair? Not my thing.
On his left was the guy that talked to me earlier. He was the second oldest. I couldn’t label who he was in the family but as a person he seemed like the responsible one. Always thinking about the consequences to his actions.
Next to him was the youngest of them all. I couldn’t tell from his looks. He looked as tall as the guy who talked to me earlier, but the oldest one kept making teasing remarks about his poker skills. He had long dirty blond hair. His hair stopped a little after his ears. He kept it messy so the cut didn’t look weird. He seemed like the suffer in silence types, we had something in common. If anything he seemed like he struggled with the life style more then his ‘friends’ did, as if he didn’t really want to be here. I didn’t understand what was keeping him here. But it really wasn’t my business either.
cloudlessworld