social help: My Mom is overweight and rides the community bus to and from work from time to time. - Help.com

My Mom is overweight and rides the community bus to and from work from time to time.

When the bus is crowded, she has to sit next to other workers making the commute and often part of her arm will touch whoever is next to her.

This is not something that she can help and it makes her feel extremly self concious, but she must commute, sit down for the ride and bear it.

It breaks my heart when she tells me that the people around her or the people who she touches sometimes get up and stand or roll their eyes at her.

Yet at the same time, I can understand how some people might be annoyed. Kind of…

Is their annoyance towards my mother justified? It’s her body, she payed for the bus just like everyone else and she only sits near someone when it’s crowded.

Should people just suck it up and sit there, or do they have a right to be pissy and rude towards her?

She is the one who has to deal with being overweight, why should others make her feel badly about it? It’s not their problem! Unless she’s touching them on the bus ride….but is that enough to complain?

This open post was written 6 months ago | V/U/S: 184, 3, 3 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


Reciprocity (0) Reciprocation Failure -- The poster has NOT helped anyone else yet!

Since writing this post hayjhay may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. hayjhay is a verified member, has been around for 2 years and has 18 posts and 89 replies to their name.

Post Tags (3)

overweight, insecure, social (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

Replies (3)

Where were you?

Click and drag to move the map around. FAQ: How we place people on this map »
You can also watch events on Help.com as they happen
Mouse over the map for 2 seconds to see an expanded, interactive view

biggestfool offline Verified User (6 months) Long Term User Shouts: 6 #
An Unknown Location | 6 months ago (39 minutes after post)

She shouldn’t be worried about brushing someone. If they are so small minded as to react that is their problem.

But regarding her being overweight, it is not just her who has to deal with it. Clearly she is invading others personal space and some people can’t handle that. I am just saying that others have to deal with it too.

For me it is not the touching that would bother me when sitting next to someone over weight. Sometimes it cause me to end up sitting uncomfortably.

In the end everyone has the right to be whatever they want to be. Others aren’t making her feel bad about it, she is feeling bad about it by herself, because she is noticing.

Not trying to sound harsh.

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
Help me with: I just lost 2hr and I don’t know how many brain cells watching T4!
This reply has been removed.
biggestfool offline Verified User (6 months) Long Term User Shouts: 6 #
An Unknown Location | 6 months ago (8 hours, 44 minutes after post)

Just wanted to add I am the most over weight person in my family. But I have decided to do something about it recently cause I was feeling like your mum. That I was being judged by my size.

Do some research and work out how to motivate your mum to tackle it, and forget dieting it only works if coupled with exercise, but exercising means dieting is less important.

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
Help me with: I just lost 2hr and I don’t know how many brain cells watching T4!

Invite Others to Help

A logged in and verified Help.com member has the ability to setup a Friends List and invite others to help with posts.