Love help: Love, it seems, is not enough.

no_spo0n

Love, it seems, is not enough.

So I’m actually ok today. Not as messed up by this situation today as I am on other days.

But the situation is this: I’m in love with this girl (though it didn’t hit me till after she decided to eject me from her life)
I know she’s in love with me. She was for a long time while we were casually on and off seeing eachother.

Long story short, I hurt her and she can’t trust me enough to even speak and be friends let alone anything more.
We weren’t actually together, and we seemed prett clear on the matter (we had talked about it specifically several times), so I didn’t know anythnig I was doing would hurt her.

She never told me how she felt or communicated to me anything she was feeling or thinking.

So, now I know I love her and feel much more for her than I ever realized. And now that everything she felt and thought has been aired (through various arguments and bitterness in the ejecting me from her life).

While she can’t see it (mainly because I don’t think she realized how truly unaware of how serious she felt and saw things) knowing all this would really change things if we got back together.

I miss her so much that it physically hurts sometimes. I’d do anything to have her back.

She doesn’t trust me because she thinks I don’t care about, and would hurt her, when in reality, the times I hurt her I didn’t even know it would.

There are a lot of complicated issues as to why we were never serious in the first place (ask me if you like, I’ve left a lot out for the sake of brevity)

Basically, I just want to know, should I just try to get over this girl, is there any point in trying to get her back?

If I try, what can I do? What can I do to prove to her it’s worth it?

This open post was written 5 months, 3 weeks ago | V/U/S: 275, 9, 6 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

Reciprocity (0)

Since writing this post no_spo0n may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. no_spo0n is a verified member, has been around for 1 year, 8 months and has 21 posts and 192 replies to their name.

Post Tags (3)

Love, relationship, trust (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

Replies (9)

Where were you?

Click and drag to move the map around. FAQ: How we place people on this map »
You can also watch events on Help.com as they happen

Mouse over the map for 2 seconds to see an expanded, interactive view

frozenpenguin3 0 #
An Unknown Location | 5 months, 3 weeks ago (6 minutes after post)

if you really care about her and want her back then you cant give up, if you give up then you just prove everything she said about you not caring about her right. If you keep trying and wont leave her alone after being rejected again and again she will she how much you care. dont smother her but dont let her forget how sorry you are and that you need her in your life. Maybe send her flowers or a card, write her a letter, or a song if you play music (girls love that) but never ever give up if you love her

Help me with: My friends all hate me……we got into some trouble the other week and they are grounded as am i, we all are suspended from school as well.

no_spo0n 1 #
Brisbane, 04, AU | 5 months, 3 weeks ago (17 minutes after post)

it’s just that she doesn’t even want to talk to me, hear from me or anything.

gipp #
An Unknown Location | 5 months, 3 weeks ago (20 minutes after post)

keep working and let her know what you just told us. If it’s meant to be it’s meant to be.

This account has been deactivated.

frozenpenguin3 0 #
An Unknown Location | 5 months, 3 weeks ago (23 minutes after post)

she is really hurt by what you did, so she must care….dont give up and like gipp said tell her what you told us

Help me with: My friends all hate me……we got into some trouble the other week and they are grounded as am i, we all are suspended from school as well.

willsgreencow 0 #
An Unknown Location | 5 months, 3 weeks ago (1 hour, 14 minutes after post)

True love is more than a feeling of needing or missing someone.
Love is a choice to treat them better, and to put them before yourself.
Love is unselfish.
Maybe you could start by apologizing for the times you hurt her.
If it was with another girl, you can tell her that you want to be with her only,
and that you don’t want to hang out with or even look at other girls.
Then you can back up your words with actions.

So before you make that choice to try to win her back, you should ask yourself two things. First, are you ready for a relationship? If you hurt someone’s feelings without knowing it, maybe you still have some things to learn…
Secondly, with or without the pain and loneliness you feel deep down in your heart, is this girl worth it? Is she someone you could see yourself being with for a long time? Is she hard working? Does she treat other people with respect? Does she come from a good family? How does she treat you when she’s mad at you? All of these things are good indicators of if someone is a good mate. You should also ask yourself these questions, and try to be more like the man your woman dreams of.

If you are persistently kind, loving, and interested for 2 months straight… she will at least give you another chance. But the hard part is controlling your anger and frustration when you are waiting. Sometimes weeks can feel like years. Don’t lash out at her when you get tired of waiting. If you treat her well, she will have plenty of reasons to want to get back together with you.

lyneee5 0 #
An Unknown Location | 4 months, 3 weeks ago (3 weeks, 6 days after post)

hey :-) maybe,if you really still feel love for this girl then there is a point. . .i think we feel love for a reason, especially if the feeling is so strong!! why dont you tell her (letters are always good!) the same as you’ve written here. . .surely if she has love for you too she will understand that you did not hurt her with intention

no_spo0n 1 #
Brisbane, 04, AU | 4 months, 3 weeks ago (4 weeks after post)

well just thought I’d say, since this post, things have gotten a bit better. We are friends again now. I don’t know if it will go any further, but I’ve told her how I feel.

More than anything I just want her to be happy, so if that means us not getting back together than so be it. It will hurt, but it’s more important thatn me getting her back.

And to willsgreencow, yeh she is totally worth it. She is an amazing person, and everything I want. I don’t know what the future holds, but we’ll see…

free7_200 #
An Unknown Location | 4 months, 2 weeks ago (1 month after post)

Just a question or two. How old are the both of you? Not that the age matters here I am just curious as I am going through something very similar and I will tell you I am 48 years young and found this amazing woman very similar to yours in many ways. She is loving and kind and good to strangers. She has a zest for life and new things and she looks at life like a little child sometimes. I love her for all those qualities and so many more. … Anyway thank you for your post and all the replys.

This account has been deactivated.

no_spo0n 1 #
Brisbane, 04, AU | 4 months, 2 weeks ago (1 month after post)

Well I’m only 22, and she is 20. Still I find alot from various people, that age doesn’t tend to affect how love works that much.

Invite Others to Help

A logged in and verified Help.com member has the ability to setup a Friends List and invite others to help with posts.

Love help: Love, it seems, is not enough. - Help.com

Love, it seems, is not enough.

Reciprocity (0)

Post Tags (3)

Replies (9)

Invite Others to Help

Help.com Homepage