not much you can do at the moment…I would wait until you are 18 and you can live on your own. Just remember, you can learn from their mistakes too, so try to set an example later on.
It is not your fault or anyone elses fault. It is THEIR problem, not yours.
If she is like that, she will not change. Things can be fixed, but it will take her a LOONNNNGGG time before it happens and your dad will be way too unhappy by that point.
And yes, you can protect them, just reassure them every day that things will get better and that it is just fighting and that your dad will be ok physically. Just ressure them and keep them focused on playing and kid things. Talk to them.
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1. Reassure them that when people are comfortable with each other and living together they fight somtimes. Be there for them, dont have a visibly negative reaction to fights, just shrug them off.
2. They may divorce, they probably wont, most people dont take marrage halfheartedly, they are just adjusting.
3 How could this be your fault, dont worry. Dont carry the wieght of the world on your shoulders, everything happens for a reason, so whatever happens it will be for the best
xxo
First its not your fault.
If they are fighting try your best to keep your siblings busy.
Its gona take a long time to heal your dad wont be happy anymore.
Your dad will eventually be happy, he will never show you or you brothr or sister his unhappiness. He loves all 3 of you very much
Thanks to everyone for all the advice.
I’m Oh well, five more years…
I’ll try to keep reassuring my sibs, but they’re smart about this kind of thing. They don’t seem to like her much, either. I’ll try to keep them outside or something, but she’s so controlling, she won’t let us leave the table if they start to fight when we’re at dinner.
I guess it really isn’t my fault, it just seems like it when i know there’s nothing i can do about it.
She might be having problems with the whole family thing, she has one son who’s ten, and she was never married to the father. They’re on good terms though.
Thanks guys, i guess i’m just freaking out, trying to put my world back together.
Talk to your dad and tell him you think he needs to take her to see a marriage counselor because your not happy with her and you can tell that he’s not either.
Thanks for the advice jcd, and i wish he would. But if i suggested it, he would either laugh at me or ground me. Just yesterday they started fighting in a restaurant, and all i could do was move with my siblings to a different table and keep them occupied. I think even that made her mad, she didn’t speak to m,e for like an hour after that.
Well that is not right of her if she got mad at you. I think you did the right thing. Im proud of you. No one ever needs to go through any of that, no matter the age.
She probably was mad because she was embarrassed and it made her realize how stupid they looked arguing in a restaurant
3DG girl wrote:
Thanks for the advice jcd, and i wish he would. But if i suggested it, he would either laugh at me or ground me. Just yesterday they started fighting in a restaurant, and all i could do was move with my siblings to a different table and keep them occupied. I think even that made her mad, she didn’t speak to m,e for like an hour after that.
MiaMags wrote:
Well that is not right of her if she got mad at you. I think you did the right thing. Im proud of you. No one ever needs to go through any of that, no matter the age.
She probably was mad because she was embarrassed and it made her realize how stupid they looked arguing in a restaurant
3DG girl wrote:
Thanks for the advice jcd, and i wish he would. But if i suggested it, he would either laugh at me or ground me. Just yesterday they started fighting in a restaurant, and all i could do was move with my siblings to a different table and keep them occupied. I think even that made her mad, she didn’t speak to m,e for like an hour after that.
Thanks. :) It did look kind of stupid.
my step-mom and dad were fighting to . i actually saw them in a wrestling match. my dad threw a microwave at the floor, and he broke the door so there was glass everywhere. we lefted there with him, and my mom said we weren’t allowed over there anymore. (read the whole story on wwww.mb1212.webs.com on one of the blogs)
let your real mom have some say into this. and you get the right thing. but remeber, your dad will try to hide his unhappiness from yall. just go along with it.
Your situation was rougher than mine. My mom seems to see how unhappy we are, but i don’t tell her much. I feel like i’m betraying their trust.
meggb121 wrote:
my step-mom and dad were fighting to . i actually saw them in a wrestling match. my dad threw a microwave at the floor, and he broke the door so there was glass everywhere. we lefted there with him, and my mom said we weren’t allowed over there anymore. (read the whole story on wwww.mb1212.webs.com on one of the blogs)
let your real mom have some say into this. and you get the right thing. but remeber, your dad will try to hide his unhappiness from yall. just go along with it.
true. i felt that like too.
theres not much you can do. and this isn’t your fault. this is their fight. it has nothing to do with you.
I’ll try and remember that, thanks.
Hey you know, if I were in your situation, i would eventually say something to my dad. if it go so bad that some woman came into our lives and changed how we normally liv and was mean to us, and not being her kids, I would eventually burst soon enough.
Maybe you should talk to him one on one. Just let him know hwo you feel. Tell him that he may not see it because he is ALWAYS fighting with her but it is hurting you siblings. Maybe he will open his eyes.
I guess i should, maybe he just doesn’t realize.
It is possible he doesn’t. He is probably os stressed out with fighting and worrying about the relationship that he can’t concentrate on that. in which, if that is teh case, thats not healthy if he cannot focus on his kids because of a marriage.
3DG girl wrote:
I guess i should, maybe he just doesn’t realize.
I know. He tries, so i give him points for that. But he cares about her a lot. Sometimes it seems more than me.
Thats alot of stress he is enduring at this point. if you feel like that, you seriously need to tell him that. That is your father. And if you decide to tell him, do it very calm and very mature so he knows you are seriously feeling hurt
3DG girl wrote:
I know. He tries, so i give him points for that. But he cares about her a lot. Sometimes it seems more than me.
mmmm It seems like she makes the rules in that house hold…she might be a bit in secure though in making you go to church or something…idk i have heard of this though some times when people get married it’s like they take a personality change etc.
no, im sure if had to pick, he would pick you and you brother and sister. of course he should never have to. but he cares for you just as much as he dose for her.
Thanks. if someday i get up the guts to tell him, i will try to do it calmly. But i don’t know how much longer i can go without exploding. So i guess i should do it soon.
you should. you dont want to try and hold it in.
Hey D,
My parents were almost the same way only minus the church but my mom was quite the control freak and I had just told my dad I’m not happy with the way things are going on and you look more miserable then I’ve ever seen you next thing you know my parents got divorced because of me =) so sometimes talking about it with your dad could be the right thing unless he is very much so in love and “submissive” towards this woman.
I guess you’re right. Goodbye perfect child record.
it actually sounds like she is just one of those females. Controlling, everyting her way, snappy and yes, insecure with herself. But I just can’t grasp the fact of why she would control someone elses children as she is. i would never do that, it should be the father. But I do feel bad that he loves her and he has to deal with fighting
LocoLamigra31 wrote:
mmmm It seems like she makes the rules in that house hold…she might be a bit in secure though in making you go to church or something…idk i have heard of this though some times when people get married it’s like they take a personality change etc.
She sometimes reminds me Roger’s and Hammerstein’s Cinderella. (I’m a sucker for old kids movies) Where the evil step mother is teaching her children to ‘hide their flaws, until after the wedding’.
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