koolio427 changed the tags on this post: they were "Relationships, Love, depression" 5 months, 3 weeks ago.
I think you need to accept being with yourself before you can meet someone and make a healthy relationship work.
It seems that you are so desperate to not be alone you will grab anyone that comes along no matter if you have anything in common or not.
Try to enjoy being single, it does have it’s advantages and I doubt you will be single forever unless you have some phycotic fetish or something.
When your desperate women will pick up on that and I can tell you that a desperate man is not attractive, there has to be some kind of chase going on and if a guy falls at your feet the second you talk to them you lose interest right away.
Your friends are right, wheh the right person comes along things will just happen and you won’t have to work for it or be someone your not.
Just be yourself, enjoy being young and free and when you are not searching for company thats when it usually finds you.
well if you go to a club there will be lds of women floeting around for a guy, pick one u like and go 4 it, dont even think of ur ex, thts y they arnt wrkin wen u go out with someone ur sub-consious is telling u its wrong tht it sint with her
~LazyDaze~ wrote:
I think you need to accept being with yourself before you can meet someone and make a healthy relationship work.
It seems that you are so desperate to not be alone you will grab anyone that comes along no matter if you have anything in common or not.
Try to enjoy being single, it does have it’s advantages and I doubt you will be single forever unless you have some phycotic fetish or something.
When your desperate women will pick up on that and I can tell you that a desperate man is not attractive, there has to be some kind of chase going on and if a guy falls at your feet the second you talk to them you lose interest right away.
Your friends are right, wheh the right person comes along things will just happen and you won’t have to work for it or be someone your not.
Just be yourself, enjoy being young and free and when you are not searching for company thats when it usually finds you.
couldnt of said it better myself :)
somehow you are tryng to relate the wrong kind of people to things that are missing in your life. just because ure “guy” friends do not talk about certain things u assume that a girl -friend would magically fix everything. theres a giangt difference between someone to talk to and love. if you rather talk to women, its a opreference and you can alwways choose to have a friend that happens to be a woman, and its od that you cannot see them as possible friends. it both troubles u and your dates that ure need is not for a relationship, at all. learn to make a difference between opening up and having a girlfriend.
being sigle is not your issue , do appreciate your time and learn how to use it without looking for someone right now. they arent reaching your standards because u arent certain about what they are, ejoy yourself and relax. talk.to whomever u think its appropriate.
Yeah thank you for everyone’s help so far! =)
Moufette actually I do have several friends that are girls. Most of them are just friends. There is one girl that I’m friends with that I’m very interested in and she knows this. She said shes not looking for anyone right now and plus i don’t think she’s interested in me. I’m avoiding that situation as much as possible. =( I’m just much happier when I have a girl. For some reason it almost feels like I can’t remember how to have fun while being single haha (I know it sounds ridiculous) but please keep the replies coming!
i know what u mean, i feel like im in a cage sometimes
lol
well then have a girl and a friend to talk to.its not that a girlfriend would not talk to you, but maybe sometimes its too early in a relationshipdo talk about certain things. its will surely prevent u from hurrying into something. and certainly prevent you from getting to close to a new girlfriend that you dont think you will really keep for a long time but talk about intimate things just because u need to talk to SOMEONE.have fun
;0 its all there is to life isnt it?
I do talk to some of my close chic friends about it tho but with that I’m trying to keep from looking desperate about the situation. As Lazydaze said I am keeping my cool in that area for the most part.
I usually go out to the clubs and stuff with friends to meet and talk to new girls. Although, a lot of the girls i meet are out to be promiscuous and that is fine. I’m a guy like to have fun too, but in the end what does being promiscuous really get you? Plus, I live in a college town and it would be a really bad idea just to sleep around! (bad STD rate) Not to mention that isn’t me. I guess i’ll just have to push myself that much longer till that “one” girl comes along.
Keep the replies coming =)
well if it wasnt for the STD rate, sleeping around would appeal to you . i dont think thats a matter of bad character, u just cant help it.that “one girl” ure talking about.. well you are far from ready for it. hanging with your frinds and talk about meeting new girls is what u feel like doing, because u do know what u want. new girls.your”chic”friends have been long enoyugh friends because u know them to well. u wouldnt feel accomplished with something you know that well.maybe you dont want to know the girls well wnough to have a mature long term relationship, but it seems like its not the right time for you anyway.:)
Moufette.. Wait a minute you have me lost.. haha The thing is I’m not the type of person that likes to sleep around tho?! Yes, i always like meeting new girls, but when i do get into a relationship I don’t cheat. I’m not scared of commitment (if thats what you mean) Cheating is one of those things I don’t tolerate. A while back my best friend told me that maybe my expectations are too high? I can see that being maybe part of it, but i don’t think that is all of it.
Keep the replies coming =)
oh i mentioned nothing about cheating. u say it doesnt work out, but u keep tryng.i didnt say “fear of commitment” thats an often expression i think does not apply.as a atter of fact ure expectations are too low.how do u figure talking to your frinds abt meeting new girl really influences you?maybe they it shapes a refex to treat the so called new girls as a series of endless possibilities? i really dont know. but if it would be so, wouldnt that make u think its a really hard choice precisely because theres a huge lineout to pick from? u might meet someone out of the blue, through common interest.and hit you in the back of your head that ure in love and dont know how it happened. wither way ure search isnt leading to meeting a girlfriend, but to be prepared for whe one that twists ure head comes along. thats what i meand by try’em out. the way ure doing it, theres no other choice:)
Ohhh i think i see what your saying. I should keep going out and meeting these new girls but not with the intention of wanting them to be my girlfriend. Although the girl i mentioned before is going to be a lot harder to do that with because i think she is pretty awesome. (plus i think i’ll just have to cut my loses and not be interested) I guess putting this all together i really need to chill out and REALLY start having fun. When it comes to talking to different girls maybe i could play some of the “chase game”, but then back off. I guess being in a 5 1/2 year relationship really put me out of the loop! haha which sucks haha.
but let me know what you think?!
i think ure finally getting somewhere with this analysis. some people just feel restrained by relationships at a certain point so why be in a hurry to have one;)
Yeah. It just sucks because it will take me a while to change this funk i am in. I just hope i get back to the old me as soon as possible. haha
why get back to the old one? theres so much room for improvement at any time of your life and not just concerning relationships, but all your other qualities as a human being.when something u did in the past lead to this point it means it wasnt the most suitable, even if it was convenient at that point.
That is true. The reason i said the old me is before i was in that long relationship i was in i didn’t really even come close to ever feeling this way. I guess i was younger then too but i still need to learn to improve myself as you put it. It just sucks know it will take me awhile to feel “good” again!
you ‘re 23!lots and lots of time to discover things about u that u didnt even see until now.u have no idea what sure upper limit, because in fact,you have no limits (yet) you will only become limited by the facts you will avoid doing, by the things u think u cannot do anymore and by the rules u will impose on yourself. any time u surpass something u didnt think u could, before, u will have a real satisfaction. try something new,because it s slightly more difficult to “feel good” about doing things u did too many times allready:)
Well i hope i can turn things around because i’m getting tired of being bummed out all the time! …I have a feeling things will be getting better tho =)
Thank you so much for your help moufette! Please feel free to message me anytime! Also, anytime you have good advice please let me know i can always use it. =)
only hoping for u to figure it out. we all end up in a pickle at some point:P and you know, im one of those lucky people. it fixes itself!
evansent:)
moufette_l
Proff. Vampress ;p