i know what yuo are going through. i am going through someone that same issue. sometime i have though about giving up. but my heart says to hang in . but how much more can my heart take.
I am so sorry to hear this. I can only ask if you have tried to talk to him, but if he is anything like my partner (who I have left a topic on…) he will be reluctant to talk about it. The truth is, no matter what, we deserve to be happy and if your husband does not make you feel happy then perhaps other activities outside your marriage? Hobbies to make new friends, a distraction. Who knows, perhaps your husband will feel a teensy bit jealous and respect you a little more?
My partner is the same in insisting he loves me, the truth is men dont show it like we do. Infact I once confronted my partner as to why he doesnt woo me anymore and he accidently replied (automatically) “well… I’ve got you now”. Ouch, my reply was a hard, stoney: “well maybe you’d like to start again”.
I think perhaps your husband is just so comfortable and set in his ways and this marriage he cannot see a problem because as far as he’s concerned your still the same.
If you have not spoken to him, that is your first piece of advice. Your second from me is to focus on you. Get a massage or haircut and you make sure you feel wonderfull. Confidence is sexy and men will respond to it. Remember there is always the option of professional counsellors if you fear your marriage really is on the brink at any time.
I’m sorry if I’m not much help. Best of luck to you sweetheart
xx
we had an arguement a week ago, and it was ’set in stone’ then that we go out next days off. Well they have come and gone and he spent the entire time watching footy, like four days! and visiting with his friend. Now he wants me to forgive him and give him another chance because he really does love me and he just didn’t think, He is so sorry he is thoughtless, blah blah blah. The trouble is the same kind of crap has been going on and on, 18 solid months. Is this our destiny? To live a boring nothing life? am I wanting too much? I’ve settled for once a month, to go out together, that’s it. and even that isn’t happening.
yes, he is very settled in his ways. very laid back, I loved that about him when we first met but now it drives me crazy.
I’ve spoken to him many times, he says he gets it at the time but nothing changes.
I’m heading to fifty and feel life is wasting away. I need some stuff happening. going places doing things. He’s a dead ****, sorry. He has no get up and go in him at all. He’s content to read, listen to the radio, news and quizzes and visit a couple of friends for a chat. Is he in his forty’s or pushing 80?
I’ve always had my own interests, I have lot’s of hobby’s and keep myself amused quite fine.
Do I give up on the idea of living a life together?
I feel cheated and resentful.
I try hard to focus on myself, look after myself, create happiness within myself. It all works for awhile but it’s preety hard living under the same roof with a man that is just not into living together.
If nothing financial or Kids ,or Dog and Cats are involved grab a Ticket and go on a Holiday by yourself. Get your Thoughts back in Order .Coming back you will have all the answers what to do.Now go to barbyman .com and listen to his music maybe you want to leave today for the holiday . Wishing you what you deserve ..THE BEST…
I’ve done the holiday thing, a couple of times. I came back clear that things change or I go. He promises this that and the other but never follows through. Lets me down constantly. My gut tells me this is because he does not love me.
We should listen to our gut, right? But he is sooooo convincing that he truely loves me, I want so much to believe it. I feel rejected and I’ve never dealt with rejection in my life so am not coping at all.
I don’t know how to get through this. It’s too painful. because I’m the one living the pain, I know in the big picture things can be a whole lot worse but even knowing this does not help.
kde wrote:
yes, he is very settled in his ways. very laid back, I loved that about him when we first met but now it drives me crazy.
I’ve spoken to him many times, he says he gets it at the time but nothing changes.
I’m heading to fifty and feel life is wasting away. I need some stuff happening. going places doing things. He’s a dead ****, sorry. He has no get up and go in him at all. He’s content to read, listen to the radio, news and quizzes and visit a couple of friends for a chat. Is he in his forty’s or pushing 80?
I’ve always had my own interests, I have lot’s of hobby’s and keep myself amused quite fine.
Do I give up on the idea of living a life together?
I feel cheated and resentful.
I try hard to focus on myself, look after myself, create happiness within myself. It all works for awhile but it’s preety hard living under the same roof with a man that is just not into living together.
I expect that perhaps time appart would be a bad thing, instead of good, otherwise I would suggest it but I dont think that is the best idea in your case. If you do wish to speak to someone WITHOUT your husband then that is always an option, if you really are stuggling to cope, and it does sound as if you are (and quite understandably) at the end of your tether. By the way, I think the idea above about a short holiday may be a good idea. Perhaps try one together? Away from his telly and football and friends?
We did a short holiday a couple of months back, we get to the hotel room and he wants to watch a john wayne movie, half way through it! I wanted to go for a walk. I gave him relax time first, a coffee, his smoke. There was something happening down the street, a music festival, fete thing. I wanted to go look, he said he’d walk me down there and come back to room alone. WTF
This is life with him.
It is not worth the effort.
I want to give up.
I’m going to cry again for the loss of happiness.
Go more often out .Go to Museums art ,Dance Classes .If all fails you would not want to spend the rest of your Life with a Person like him to do it with .Well you know than what to do…
I am having a very similar problem and i dont know what to do anymore !!!! I am getting married to someone who drives me mad every day and he makes me sad too !! He doesnt show me any respect even though he thinks he does. but watching telly all the time is not showing respect is it? I am really unhappy and wanted to leave him so many times but for some strange reason i never do bacause i feel that my life will not be complete without him in it. But what so i do? I tried to talk to him so many times but he alsways says, oh i am sorry, i didnt mean to… you know i love you and you mean the world to me…..bladybladyblah but it never changes anything because as soon as i laugh again we are back to normal !!!!
dyqui
hobbit_ears1
kde
pavli160