lies help: She’s going to ruin my sister’s birthday… - Help.com

She’s going to ruin my sister’s birthday…

Leah is turning seventeen in a couple of days, and I really want her to have a good one, but there’s a certain problem with that.

See, my dad’s fiancee likes to invite herself AND her thirty-something-year-old son over to our dad’s house on special occasions. Leah, Paul (our brother), and I don’t really get along with her.

At. All.

Seriously, she gives everyone dirty looks when she thinks they’re not looking, takes my sister’s stuff (she stole her shampoo the day before and put it in the guest room, a.k.a her room), she talks behind our backs, and she actually scrubbed the toilets with Leah’s toothbrush once (no joke) and then lied about it. She doesn’t like when Dad spends money on his kids (us), but she’s always trying to get him to spend money on her. They’ve gone on two cruises together, but they’ve only been together a couple of years.

Another thing: Leah was recently diagnosed with a heart rhythm disorder. The same day she got diagnosed, my dad’s fiancee claimed she was having trouble too. Ever since, she’s been complaining about how her heart does weird things when she exercises. On Friday night, my dad asked her if she needed a stress test. She said she had one already, and when he asked when she said last October and it was recent enough. She also claimed they had to pull her off because her heart rate was 280 bpm and her blood pressure was 190/40. There’s just no way they wouldn’t admit her to a hospital or treat her, they do those to diagnose things. No one heard anything about this supposed test or what happened during it. Also, she runs all the time. Four miles a day, according to her. She does marathons and everything. She would not be able to do that if she supposedly had that happen in a stress test. Leah has trouble even walking up the stairs, and she’s on medication.
That’s just a little creepy.

You can see why we aren’t comfortable when she’s around. It would not be a happy birthday if she came over, but we can’t ask her to stay home, because she’d make a very big deal out of it. She’d cry, she’d complain about us to Dad, she’d come over anyway, etc. It would be difficult for us to speak to Dad about it, because he’d yell, complain that we were selfish or “attacking his fiancee”, give us the cold shoulder, and/or bring her over to spite us.

Geez, I miss the old dad: the one who had a sense of humor and didn’t like being manipulated or messed with, money-wise… What has she done to him?

Leah deserves some happiness. She deserves to be in a good mood on her birthday. That’s not going to happen if “IT” and her family comes over, and her rude thirty-something-year-old son pigs out on the birthday cake. =/

We’re in a really tough situation here. Any advice or just some well-wishing would be nice.

This open post was written 5 months ago | V/U/S: 168, 4, 4 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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Since writing this post Enilorac may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. Enilorac is a verified member, has been around for 2 years, 8 months and has 104 posts and 1,497 replies to their name.

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IDon'tEverQuit offline Verified User (1 year, 8 months) Long Term User Shouts: 479 #
An Undisclosed Location | 5 months ago (9 hours after post)

Wow, now that’s a rough situation :( I’m sorry. I’m not really sure how you can stop them from coming….The only thing I can think of (but won’t solve what you’re asking) is to take her out (just her) and do something special. If the family thing is a must do thing, take her out afterwards and cheer her up.

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marmoffi offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 3 months, 3 weeks ago (1 month, 1 week after post)

Why don’t you and your silbings go out and celebrate your sister’s birthday, just the three of you and have a good time. Then celebrate it a second time including your father and his lady friend. Make a jesture of peace. Call her up and invite her to your sister’s second birthday gathering.

Your father will be pleased and his lady friend will be surprised. Stop complaining to your father about her. Accept her as she is. Eventually your father will come around and so will she when she realizes she doesn’t have to defend herself against you to your father. Your father might also come around when he sees that you are making an effort to get along with his lady friend.

It’s very possible that your father’s lady friend is afraid that your dislike for her will affect her relationship with your father. People react differently to fear.

You can’t change your father but you can change how you feel. You have a right to be happy and so does your father. Be respectful of your father and be nice to this woman. Accept her as she is and don’t let her get to you. Take the higher road. It’s going to be hard but accept it with a grain of salt and you will start to feel better and maybe she, herself will come around when she realizes she can’t get to you.

Good luck!

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chocomad offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 3 months ago (2 months after post)

Take her out somewhere.

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pengy2 offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 2 months, 3 weeks ago (2 months, 1 week after post)

i would find a way to lock her inside her car so she couldnt get out and take her cell phone hehehehe

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