History???? Tell more about that. Is there something that causes this mistrust?? You know it’s there but why? Are you two broke up now? I need to know a few things before getting to deep into this. How old are the both of you? Are you both still living with each other? I’m glad you made the choice to live with each other before you get married. That should be a law. So you know his weakness and he knows yours right? I do have to say one thing if he doesn’t really want to try I wouldn’t froce it. If it isn’t there for him anymore then it may be better for you to not go back. If you two are broke up now and he has made it clear that he wishes not to start again I’m sorry but you must not. I know this will be hard for you but you can’t make someone be with you and then be happy. write back and tell me more ok I will talk to you very soon I hope. Elizabeth:)
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My ex and I had been seperated for a while before i met him. He was in China and I was in California, so we did not really have anything left. I met him through work. He was sweet, fun and patient. However, he was only 28 and I was 36 with two kids. One month after we lived together, i felt that he was drifting away and i felt that he lost his interest in me both physically and emotionally. I asked to break up with him, but we got back together right away. Later on, things got worse. We broke up and got back together at least 5 times. I found out that he slept with a hooker and went out with my friend. We kept our relationship as a secret because we worked in the same company. I was really hurt when I found that out. We broke up for 3 weeks and then we got back together again. I thought that I could forget and forgive about what he did. I let go of the hooker part, but I never let go of the part that he went out with my friend. So we had this argument last Wednesday and he said that he just could not take it anymore. He left and did not want to talk to me or see me any more. I talked to him last night and he seemed so cold and so determined. He said that he does not love me any more. He could just turn away and told me that there is no more love left in him. Does he really love me or care about me? He tried hard this time to make it work. It was me that screwed up this time. I am in deep depression and cannot find any way out. I really love and want him back, but I know it is just not possible this time. He is so cold and determined…
I think I need to let him go, but it is really hard. I cannot control myself not to call him or email him. He has blocked me from his IM and does not want to talk to me or see me at all. I know that it is truely over this time.
It is over you need to learn to be ok with that. You don’t want to turn into the girl that cased down guys anyway’s. Guys don’t like needy they want freedom. If I was you I wouldn’t want to be with a guy who wants my friends and hookers. He played you there is nothing else to call it. He may have thought he could love you but some guys can stay witj one girl. Fine and dandy on his part but not for you. You know you need to get over him everyone does. Now you really do need to get ahold of yourself and really you need to find yourself. Just think of what your doing to you kids. They hate the fact you are with this guy I’m almost sure of it. Why I’m sure they can sense that he brings you sorrow. They are not dumb. They know you hurt and that your sad I’m sure you make it very clear in your household. You moved this guy in there house and now not just you are sad and drepressed they are as well. I really don’t agree with hubby dumping but sometimes things happen but I really do not agree with meeting guys after the breakup and so fast getting into things with new people. Ok breaking up with your husband must have helped you but I just don’t think you should have jumped in the dating game so fast right after. Your teaching your kids it’s ok to break up all the time and then get with so guy ect etc… I do think you need to take a year off away from the needs of men. I’m almost certain you will get over this guy pretty fast then 4 months later you will meet one more same story, you will never be happy like this. Dumping men and going with men isn’t fixing you. You need to fix you. I really don’t think your stable to date, not just for you but for the guy. See yourself right now. Ok a girl who is stable gets a non drinking non cheating non homewreaker kind of guy ok. A girl who is stable gets a great guy who loves her kids does not drink, no drugs ect ect.. yuo get my point. Now which one are you???? I know lets see. Your guy loves your friends I’m taking it he likes to drink. LET HIM GO. He is bringing you down to a nasty level. You don’t like yourself right now and it’s because you picked out a bad guy this time. You need to learn to pick guiys better and the first thing to work on is picking yourself up and thinking your great. Thinking bad about yourself makes jreks come running your way. You need to hold your head high and talk well on yourself. Good guys like girls who like theirselfs. You got with this new guy at a bad time when you were done about your husband. Look at yoursel as a new chick. Let go of what he did to yopu and move on and be new. Be someone you have never been. Be proud be happy, be preppy be anything but sad. Next time you get ready to find a man I want you to master this before the fact. Then you will find a good clean cut guy. I know I know you don’t feel as if you have earned this in life right now, that’s why I want you to wait a year before getting a new guy, so your ready and proud. Write back to me ok, I really want to hear what you think about this. Ok see you in a bit.
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I believe that i need to fix myself. That’s very true. He is a good person. He does not drink or smoke. But I know it does not help to think about how good he is now. I know I have problems. I am not very emotionally stable and I get very sensitive about things that he said and over-reacted on that. I am seeking some help now. I know that I need to love myself and be happy with myself. It is something that I have never experienced before. I looked deep down inside and realized that I have never let myself fallen in love with anyone else before, not even my ex. I understand and appreciate everything you said. How do I get over this period of pain?
Time. that’s it time will heal it. Don’t try to get over the pain just feel it and and deal with it threw crying and all the stuff you do when this happens.
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This pain of letting go is so much deeper then just letting go of him. It’s letting go of the lifestyle and how you have changed. I know you feel lost and like you can’t think ,or even eat without him. Know that only last no more then a month after the breakup and letting go. You should know that you had a husband. I’m sure that was very hard to let that go at the time. You got threw it and now you don’t even hardly remember crying until 4 in the morning ect etc…. Just know it will hurt but once you do get threw the first month it gets better. I know you know that now you just have to wait it out and let time do it’s job. Alway’s know your going to be ok and you will be. Write back soon ok, see ya later Elizabeth:)
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Thank you very much for responding. I got a call from him this morning, because he thought that I called him. He said that he did not want to be rude not calling back. He sounded really cold. I could not believe this is the same person that sent me a note of telling me how much he loved me last week. Just one week ago. I finally woke up after that. I realized that if he could threw away something so easily. It is not too important to him. I will fight my way through and will not expect him to come back. Thank you. I need all the support and recommendation i can get to get through this. I will also change my phone number soon, so he will not be able to contact me any more.
I think that is a good idea. You may just ask him not to call you so you don’t have to go threw the change. He may respect your wishes try that and if he calls you and bogs you then change it. Give it a try never know. I hope the best for you and your kids. If you ever need anything just ask on here. Talk to you soon Elizabeth:)
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hi i am lizz if you wanna talk in a mans point of view contact me at (email removed)
Lizz,
Thank you. He wrote me an email after being very cold and harsh. He told me that the relationship did not work because he finally came to realize that he did not want to be with my two very precious kids after everything he has done and said. He told me that he misses me and really wants to be friends again. However, I only feel anger and rage in me now. I am closing all the doors with me, even I am still hurt. I am still very, very hurt and still love him very much. I love him with all my heart. I woke up in the middle of the night with tears and I could not eat. This is it. I will never be able to accept him as a friend after all this. I am still in tears and pain, but I think I am done no matter what he says.
lizz_mez