What can anyone say? Why haven’t you met her in person after all this time? Bring it out into the real world.
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Ya have you even met her? And how old are you? Information helps!
Florie wrote:
What can anyone say? Why haven’t you met her in person after all this time? Bring it out into the real world.
We are going to meet shortly. but i am very scared that she will take one look at me and dump me.
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Don’t be scared. Be clean (girls love that), wear freshly laundered clothes, be nice, be sweet …
~willard~ wrote:
Ya have you even met her? And how old are you? Information helps!
I am 16 and shes 18
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Above all, be yourself. :)
I wish i could have met her sooner but i m only 16 and and i dont have a lot off money and i am starting college she only lives about 3 hours away but i am scared about a few things. it feels like true love. I get very upset easily so whenever she goes out with her friends she has many boys and friends and i get very jealous and paranoid when she goes out with them is that natural or not?
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It may or may not be “natural” but it is somewhat common I think. Except maybe a bit much since you haven’t really fully “met.” If it’s true love, it has a chance. There is an old saying, “Love knows no fear.”
Florie wrote:
It may or may not be “natural” but it is somewhat common I think. Except maybe a bit much since you haven’t really fully “met.” If it’s true love, it has a chance. There is an old saying, “Love knows no fear.”
It really does feel true love. I talk to her about everything even things i dont talk to my parents about. and she talks to me about things and we share each other emotions. we have nearly broke up in the past and it has phyisically made me so upset that i cried and i have cried many times over her mostly over silly things those but she’s always there for me to try and make me feel better. i feel like i would be able to do anything for her even if it meant something like risking my life for her thats how inlove with her i am
She meens the world to me but is it right like this?
because i would much rather spend the rest off my life with her and get married and have children if it was possible.
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What do you mean “is it right like this?”
over the internet for this long?
and if we didnt get to meet when we wanted to?
what do you think i should do?
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But you are meeting her soon, right?
Why DIDN’T you meet before?
Ok, since nobody else is being honest with you, THIS IS NOT LOVE. THIS IS INFATUATION. You have never met the girl. You may feel like you ‘love’ her, but you are 16! At most, you are flattered that someone takes an interest in you. You lust after her because she doesn’t ignore you.
Go out, meet real people. Get a real girlfriend, a girlfriend that you kiss, touch, hug, and more. Not someone that you have cybersex with and talk to when you feel down. That is not a girlfriend.
Yes were supposed to be meeting in august this year
Because off school at that time and it was really hard to get to where she lived
and mostly because off insecurities about my looks and other stuff.
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alex-tomass wrote:
Yes were supposed to be meeting in august this year
Because off school at that time and it was really hard to get to where she lived
and mostly because off insecurities about my looks and other stuff.
Doesn’t this tell you something? If you loved her, looks wouldn’t matter to either of you! Fear of rejection wouldn’t exist if it was love!
You could be wrong - how do you know for sure Miss Bunny? Do you know everything about love in all its forms?
Miss Jessica Bunny wrote:
alex-tomass wrote:
Yes were supposed to be meeting in august this year
Because off school at that time and it was really hard to get to where she lived
and mostly because off insecurities about my looks and other stuff.
Doesn’t this tell you something? If you loved her, looks wouldn’t matter to either of you! Fear of rejection wouldn’t exist if it was love!
Have you ever been shy? Have you ever been 16?
Miss Jessica Bunny wrote:
alex-tomass wrote:
Yes were supposed to be meeting in august this year
Because off school at that time and it was really hard to get to where she lived
and mostly because off insecurities about my looks and other stuff.
Doesn’t this tell you something? If you loved her, looks wouldn’t matter to either of you! Fear of rejection wouldn’t exist if it was love!
I have spoken to her about it and she said she doesnt care what i look like she just loves me for who i am. And it made me less insecure.
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Florie wrote:
You could be wrong - how do you know for sure Miss Bunny? Do you know everything about love in all its forms?
Experience Florie.
I don’t know for absolute sure, but I’m sure as hell not going to say “yeah you’re in love, that’s perfect” it’s not! He’s met someone over the internet that he enjoys talking to and has developed feelings for. It’s like me falling in love with a character in a movie. It’s just not REAL.
Yes I’ve been 16. What a ridiculous question.
It’s not black and white. For all you know, when they meet they may really be smitten!!! The boy is only 16. Give him a break. He doesn’t need to be scolded.
What would you have him do – not ever meet her at all?
Nothing beautiful would EVER happen in this world, if everyone went by statistics and probabilities!!!
Tbh Jess is right, you will never know if its love unless you meet. At the moment its just a crush, it may feel more intense but when you actually do fall in love with someone you will look back on this and see it for what it is. If you meet her and you adore each other then great, but you could be missing out on falling for someone who could be better, not to mention closer and so easier for you to spend time with. You might meet this girl and find you have no physical chemistry, which would really suck.
And really, Jess is a **** clever lady and you should probably at least listen to her advice, if not take it as the gospel truth lol, she’s a smart one.
Long distance is agony, I’d definitely advise you to try and find someone closer to you when this fades.
Florie wrote:
What would you have him do – not ever meet her at all?
I’d have him go out and socialise and meet a real girl!
Florie wrote:
It’s not black and white. For all you know, when they meet they may really be smitten!!! The boy is only 16. Give him a break. He doesn’t need to be scolded.
I’m not scolding him, I’m giving him truth and not pandering or babying him. You really think that he could be in love with someone he has never even MET. Considering 60% of human attraction is PHYSICAL. At best he is in love with an idea. The idea of the perfect girlfriend. People can pretend to be whomever they like over the internet. It’s both a beauty and a curse.
If they do meet, Great! If they do meet and are smitten, even better! But I again find it hard to believe an 18 year old girl would be smitten with a 16 year old lad.
Sounds like you know it all …
By the way, I’m probably old enough to at least be your mother, Miss Bunny. I’ve been around … I know things myself. I know all about “probabilities,” etc.
oh well - good luck to you, Alex-Tomass
thank you all for your advice it is much appreciated.
I just wish it wasnt this complicated.
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It really isn’t. Meet, you will see!
I hope it will be ok to be honest
because it really feels like shes the girl for me :(
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Florie wrote:
Sounds like you know it all …
Far from it, but I know enough and have experienced enough to give an opinion.
Florie wrote:
By the way, I’m probably old enough to at least be your mother, Miss Bunny. I’ve been around … I know things myself. I know all about “probabilities,” etc.
Age doesn’t mean you are automatically right. If you’re old enough to be my mother, you should surely know that.
alex-tomass wrote:
I hope it will be ok to be honest
because it really feels like shes the girl for me :(
As I said, if she is, great! If not, don’t sweat it, it was only an internet romance, nothing compared to an actual romance.
alex-tomass wrote:
I hope it will be ok to be honest
because it really feels like shes the girl for me :(
It’s ALWAYS right to be honest.
The thing is it feels like an actual Romance.:(
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Alex, only you know what you feel.
alex-tomass wrote:
The thing is it feels like an actual Romance.:(
You have nothing to compare it to. Do you have friends outside of the internet? People you see and socialise with? Do you go out, hang out, go to parties, chat to girls outside of instant messaging applications?
I no,
I really want to be with her and i really hope it works out for us.
Because these feelings are so strong ive never even been close to loving a girl like this before. :(
If ifinished with her it would hurt me so much like sometimes when we argue. it hurts so much. everytime i talk to her my heart beats so fast. and everytime we argue it makes me upset raplidly.
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Miss Jessica Bunny wrote:
alex-tomass wrote:
The thing is it feels like an actual Romance.:(
You have nothing to compare it to. Do you have friends outside of the internet? People you see and socialise with? Do you go out, hang out, go to parties, chat to girls outside of instant messaging applications?
no i dont, Because most off the time i only want to speak to her because shes always on my mind and i would most likely want to talk to her rather than do them things. I no it sounds weird but i am being honest because i dont like to lie.
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Alex, I think maybe Jessica in her own way is trying to warn you that you could be disappointed or hurt when you and this girl finally meet. It does sound like you’ve got a lot of emotion about this girl you’ve only met in words (spoken words, written words). That one-dimensional world has lots of room for imagination. Seeing someone face to face adds so much more, and you may feel you’ve made something out of nothing, or you may see that you have a very good friend and that’s all. It’s okay though, to feel love. There’s nothing wrong with that at all. Love is good, in all its many forms. Fear and jealousy and possessiveness are not so great though, and sound out of place at this point. In fact, it would be good to avoid those feelings altogether!
It doesn’t sound weird, you sound very isolated and that isn’t healthy. Of course you think you love this girl, you have nothing else, because of this girl. She goes out to parties and out with friends, you said so in the original post.
You need to get out, you need to integrate with society, you can’t live your life behind a computer screen. I’ve had friends in EXACTLY the same position as you, and I had a guy that was ‘in love’ with me over the internet too even though we have never met. I had to cut all ties because he became insanely possessive and a total nutjob. I don’t want you to go the same way. Go outside. Make friends. Live life. Don’t play at life like you are. You’re 16 years old, life is just beginning, and life isn’t feelings you get through a computer.
Florie wrote:
Alex, I think maybe Jessica in her own way is trying to warn you that you could be disappointed or hurt when you and this girl finally meet. It does sound like you’ve got a lot of emotion about this girl you’ve only met in words (spoken words, written words). That one-dimensional world has lots of room for imagination. Seeing someone face to face adds so much more, and you may feel you’ve made something out of nothing, or you may see that you have a very good friend and that’s all. It’s okay though, to feel love. There’s nothing wrong with that at all. Love is good, in all its many forms. Fear and jealousy and possessiveness are not so great though, and sound out of place at this point. In fact, it would be good to avoid those feelings altogether!
I do understand… the only other thing we have done is talk on the phone but that wouldnt make much difference would it or?
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Nothing compares to meeting in person.
Miss Jessica Bunny wrote:
It doesn’t sound weird, you sound very isolated and that isn’t healthy. Of course you think you love this girl, you have nothing else, because of this girl. She goes out to parties and out with friends, you said so in the original post.
You need to get out, you need to integrate with society, you can’t live your life behind a computer screen. I’ve had friends in EXACTLY the same position as you, and I had a guy that was ‘in love’ with me over the internet too even though we have never met. I had to cut all ties because he became insanely possessive and a total nutjob. I don’t want you to go the same way. Go outside. Make friends. Live life. Don’t play at life like you are. You’re 16 years old, life is just beginning, and life isn’t feelings you get through a computer.
I do understand, she doesnt go out anymore though i meant like she used to go to parties and other stuff but she doesnt anymore.
I wish this relationship was real life because i really love her :’(
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Maybe it will be … maybe it won’t be. There’s only one way to find out.
Well hun, as you just said, it isn’t real life. It’s virtual, it’s secondlife. Either move it into real life and see what happens, AND go out and start living. Or just go out and start living, but believe me, the longer you leave it, the harder it will be. The more secluded you will get, the more bitter you will get, the more insecure you will get.
Florie wrote:
Maybe it will be … maybe it won’t be. There’s only one way to find out.
i no thank you for your advice i guess the only way is to meet her.
But i have to go now thank you for helping me…
i hope it really works out for our relationship because ive never felt this way about a girl before :’(
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Miss Jessica Bunny wrote:
Well hun, as you just said, it isn’t real life. It’s virtual, it’s secondlife. Either move it into real life and see what happens, AND go out and start living. Or just go out and start living, but believe me, the longer you leave it, the harder it will be. The more secluded you will get, the more bitter you will get, the more insecure you will get.
Ok thank you for your advice as well it is much appreciated
but i have to go now thak you so much!
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aww this is sweet. im going through the same thing. im in love with a guy except he lives across the state. its all exactly the same as urs. since im living it, i know that u can love someone even if u dont know them so good luck. b urself and b confident. ur gonna have her heart :]]
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