depression help: Ive been on and off with my girlfriend for about a year and 3 - Help.com

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get up
take a shower
get ready
go to her parents place
tell them who you are
tell them what you feel
make them see you love her
make her talk about what she feels
really, if you both love each other thne don’t give up

Relax.

This is going to work out fine.

You’re suffering from anxiety. The only cure for anxiety is action. Otherwise you get passive, feel like a victim, and get depressed.

The easiest actions are to shave, get dressed in clean clothes, and eat a proper meal. Just going through this routine will help you.

As for the girlfriend, the issue is her parents. You need to start looking at the problem from their perspective. Right now you are taking this personally and turning this into a fight with them. Bad move.

They love their daughter. The key here is to change their perception of you. This is totally possible. My parents didn’t like my first girlfriend initially and yet they came to love her more than I felt they loved me as years went by.

You need to talk to their parents and demonstrate respect for them and their concerns. You need to approach them as a listener and a problem-solver. Your job is NOT to convince them of anything or argue with them. Your job is to identify their concerns and help them resolve those concerns about you.

Got it?

Get your plan and share it with your girlfriend. She needs to hear you confident and she needs to hear you being a man… making a plan and putting it into action, a plan that respects her parents and won’t isolate her from them.

DO IT!

Cant you talk to her parents?show them who u really are?and i think u should start eating and get cleaned up if youre planning on getting her back

Thats not the problem. She told me a million times and she made me promise not to ever talk to her parents about this, because she wasnt supposed to tell me all of this. Her parents are really old fashioned and strict. I know she loves me, weve been through this many times. Her parents dont like the kind of person i am, because i am not who they wanted, they always tell her you deserve better, and she texts me and tells me “Are we ever going to find love with someone else?” .. ” Whats hurts the most is that no one will ever love me as much as you..etc.” and it kills me..The situation is complicated and i dont know what to do, it seems as if there is no hope, she is stubborn and her parents are also stubborn. I understand that they are worried and love their daughter and i respect them for that. But they are being irrational, her dad didnt listen to her pleads, he just laid out the rules..and its either that or move out basically. Im already broken down, and like the problem is i cant go home for another 25 days, and the only reason i stayed this summer is to be close to her, because last summer it was hard when i was away for a little bit. And now, i havent seen or talked to anyone in a few days because the only person i really knew were her and her friends around here. I hysterically laugh or cry sometimes, i have mood transitions… i just cant take it..

She is being an idiot. She wants the problem resolved but doesn’t give you permission to deal with it.

If she is worth your attention, then you will have to deal with the parents and with her. This means being a man, making a plan, and facing fear and danger head on. The fact she is afraid of her parents is a problem for both of you. She needs to get a backbone. You can help, if you think she is worth it.

Otherwise, dump this girl and move on as she is too neurotic for you to handle. Seriously… everyone deserves love… but it all comes down to what YOU can handle. Just because she is afraid of dealing with the problem doesn’t mean you’re not supposed to fix it. The more she runs away from her fears, the more paralyzed she will become. She needs to learn to face problems head on to achieve what she really wants. So do you!

I spoke to her last night, and she basically said that we cant talk to her parents because she “already” knows their reaction, and it would just make things worse and when i threatened to do it on my own, she said she’d never forgive me. I actually came across good advice, and i realized, she wouldnt have given up hope, if she really wanted to be with me/ i can’t exactly be with her until her parents accept me for who i am, whenever/ if ever that comes around.
It was’nt my fault..i didnt do anything wrong.