marriage help: For married people, do you think its acceptable for your spouse to stray during your marriage? - Help.com

scuse me…..

mm,depending on what circumstances??

No circumstances, I was having a conversation with another woman and she said that it’s alright for the spouse cheat. It’s a way, to keep the marriage going. She then continued to say, that couples that have been married for 10,20,30,40,…years have been unfaithful. What do you think?

What do you mean stray? Like shop at a different grocery store than the one you and her normally shop?

Or you mean cheat?

And if it is cheating, unless the person being cheated on has no dignity, pride, or self respect, then it’s OK. But, any normal with a little bit of dignity, pride, and self respect would find cheating abhorring!

So not it’s not acceptable.

ok..well ive been married for 25 yrs in october&ive never been unfaithful to my hubby!

dont get me wrong,ive had plenty of oppertunitys&vice versa,but i could never do something like that

i believe in rampant rabbits lol!
cheaper than divorce in the long run!
also a dam site more fun lol!;D

I just happened to run into this in the newspaper:

WOMAN HIDES HER BODY AND FEELINGS FROM HER HUSBAND

DEAR ABBY: I am 43, the mother of four children and just celebrated my 20th anniversary. Is it normal for someone to be married all this time and still not want your husband to see you naked?

I do not reveal myself to him. The lights must always be off, and I keep a shirt on. It’s not because I am ashamed of my body; it’s that I’m not attracted to him. I never was.

I married my husband for security and have learned to love him. But I love him like a brother, in a sisterly kind of way. I feel I owe him.

Should I tell my husband how I feel and risk losing my security after all this time? I had to talk to someone, so I confided in my best friend. She advised me to say nothing.

My husband had an affair a few years ago, and frankly, I was secretly relieved. Sometimes I wish he was still with her. Now that it’s over, I’m back in hiding. Abby, please advise. — HIDING IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR HIDING: What a sad situation. By marrying your husband feeling as you did, you have cheated both of you. Not only have you “not revealed” yourself physically, you have not revealed yourself emotionally or in any other way. You wish he was still with his lover because it took the pressure off you.

Your husband had an affair because instinctively he knew something important was missing in your marriage, and if you were happy you would not have written to me. What you have described is not a marriage; it is an “arrangement.”

My advice is to talk to your husband about making another kind of arrangement — one in which he supports the children and possibly makes some kind of settlement with you, while you both pursue your separate lives. Frankly, it won’t be much different than what you are already experiencing.

No, it’s definitely NOT okay for spouses to stray!

Your friend doesn’t know much about love if she’s positive that every long lasting marriage involves one or both spouses being unfaithful! That’s crazy, if you ask me.

It goes against everthing marriage should stand for. Personally, I think it can never be justified.

Her argument was for one act of infidelity was acceptable to make the marriage last. It wasn’t in human nature to be monogamous.

I stand by what I said.

Well, I’d warn anyone that considers any kind of serious relationship with her. But I think she’ll change her tune once someone that she cares deeply for cheats on her.