This post left anonymously
My current fiance and I met several months ago in a club meeting.
We hadn’t talked for the first several weeks, though after he ended his previous relationship he started to talk to me more. I didn’t mind, and reacted positively, as I almost always do to conversation. Before long, he had asked me out on a date and we were thus considered a couple.
Things were fine through then, but only a week or two after that first date he asked me to marry him. I was caught up in the current of lust, and I agreed. This, I now think of as my worst decision I have ever made.
The relationship is now long-distance as he moved to another state. We still converse through the internet, and talk on Skype and other messaging services often. We send e-mails to each other, and keep in touch.
My phone bill and internet bill have skyrocketed since I met him. Being young, we have our lives still ahead of ourselves, and I had always thought I would have at least a few boyfriends before settling down and marrying. I was always the independent type, and I love my freedoms.
However, I feel as if I did completely wrong with this decision. I don’t get the ‘fuzzy’ feeling when I see him, and I notice that when I tell him I love him I don’t mean it anymore. I feel trapped, because he still does love me as truly as he ever did. I was his first girlfriend, and I feel as if that if I call off the marriage - which I have ultimately decided to do - that he might not recover from it. Though he calls himself strong, I have to say I see him not as that.
I find myself wishing for the days before we met, and I find myself making up excuses to be away from talking with him. I avoid going online at all, and have taken my email function off of my phone. He doesn’t seem to notice or mind, believing what I tell him is the truth. I know this is wrong, and I know I have to tell him the truth sometime, but I just don’t know how to do it.
If anyone would know how to break the reality to him in a way that is easier than simply telling him the marriage is off and that I just don’t love him anymore to his face, that’s greatly appreciated. If you don’t, a simple way of just being able to convince myself that now is the time and to keep my courage up for when I have to speak those fateful words. Anything is wanted and accepted, and I thank you in advance.
This open post was written 5 months, 2 weeks ago | V/U/S: 83, 0, 1 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post
Reciprocity (0) 
Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days.
Invite Others to Help
A logged in and verified Help.com member has the ability to setup a Friends List and invite others to help with posts.