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For some people, it is real hard to make friends. Kids at that age are evil and mean. I think it is right for you to stivk up to her but, my opnion, you need to make a stand. Do to her as she does to you. If she tries to talk to you, just look at her with a disgust look and walk away. If she asks you what your problem is, say to her, MOM! You don’t give a f**** about me, you already proved that to me! Why should I give you any respect if you can’t act like my mother!!
Then walk away. Show her you are hurt. It is not right for a mom to treat a 15 year old like that.
You do not have any problems. Your a young beautiful girl who has a hard time making friends. What is so bad about that??? Life goes on.
It sounds to me that your mother is being perfectly honest, like she said.
Perhaps her words were harsh - but no one is perfect. Shes still human. Mother isn’t just going to cradle you and say “oh baby shh its okay” like on Leave it to Beaver.
She is trying to get you to toughen up. I think she’s trying to get you to finally look at what its like to grow up. What CAN she do about it? Nothing. You are the only one that can fix this. You can do whatever you want as long as you try hard enough. You can be a social as you want if you just try.
Sometimes, even when things are scary - you have to do it anyway. You have to push past your fear and risk falling on your face.
It is a hard thing to do, to look at yourself - to finally admit when you are being selfish. But I think everyone, at one point or another, IS a selfish person.
MiaMags wrote:
Do to her as she does to you. If she tries to talk to you, just look at her with a disgust look and walk away. If she asks you what your problem is, say to her, MOM! You don’t give a f**** about me, you already proved that to me! Why should I give you any respect if you can’t act like my mother!!
I respectfully disagree.
Excuse me, but she is your mother. She feeds you and puts a roof over your head, and that is a ******* difficult thing to do - I don’t think you should walk about ignoring her and looking at her with “disgust” just because you didn’t hear from her what you wanted to hear. It’s an immature tactic and will be seen as such. You’ll just be proving her right.
I really dont think that her talking to you honestly should be seen as her “not giving a **** about you.
kids, of any age, tend to want the approval of their parents. while it sure feels good when you get it, you have to know you don’t really need it. our parents are by definition older then we are, but it does not necessarily make them right all the time.
Now for something perhaps related : i don’t mean to criticize your religion, but it sounds to me like you’re a bit fanatic about it - which, considering your age, isn’t especially abnormal, but you have to realize some people are put off by it. learn when to shut up about a particular topic, when you discover it touches nerves with someone. I mean this just as advice, nothing else ;)
usurper wrote:
It sounds to me that your mother is being perfectly honest, like she said.
Perhaps her words were harsh - but no one is perfect. Shes still human. Mother isn’t just going to cradle you and say “oh baby shh its okay” like on Leave it to Beaver.
She is trying to get you to toughen up. I think she’s trying to get you to finally look at what its like to grow up. What CAN she do about it? Nothing. You are the only one that can fix this. You can do whatever you want as long as you try hard enough. You can be a social as you want if you just try.
Sometimes, even when things are scary - you have to do it anyway. You have to push past your fear and risk falling on your face.
It is a hard thing to do, to look at yourself - to finally admit when you are being selfish. But I think everyone, at one point or another, IS a selfish person.
I totally understand where you are coming from but everyone is different and not everyone is strong enough. The last person you need to be harsh is your mother. It would have to be people at school or teachers or life in general to makeyou strong
Well, thank you for the reply, really. But my mother and I have been moving all my life. She’s had 3 husbands, and she’s right that I haven’t been able to make a lot of friends. that’s just me. I don’t go along and follow the crowd. But I’m also a pretty dignant person. So when I come to her,and talk to her.. she tells me what’s wrong with me in a sense that i don’t even know is true or not and doesn’t try helping me, but making me feel worse. I’m just so confused. Do I really have problems? that’s all i ask myself, and of course you can’t answer that for me. But my own mother.. the only one I thought would understand.. is making me feel like I should fall off the face of the earth. This is something that I don’t think I could forgive her for… even if she ever apologized. She’s hit me, she’s beaten me up, she’s done things to me before and I don’t even know If I really do need help, or if it’s her. But everyone think she’s great and that she just has a bad temper. She’s smart. She has a good paying job. She’s had all these men that have loved her. & I look at myself.. making good grades, praising the lord, trying to better myself. & I’m so bad!
Well than my dear - take a deep long look at yourself - do you feel as if you have problems?
Ya, that is not right at all! Now this is what i would do, Im not saying for you to do it, your a smart girl.
I would stop talking to her really. Maybe you should talk to one of your teachers and confide in them. If your mother yells at you, just walk away like you do not care. I know you will though. Find someone to talk to. A female teacher. They are always compassionate. But, be careful they do not call DSS or anything. Find a rolemodel. Thats the word.
It is so hard because you are 15 and young and really cannot venture on your own.
MiaMags invited 16 users to read this post 5 months, 2 weeks ago.
I do not think you have problems. You are smart, have good faith with in you. She needs to controll herself. Maybe lighten up bit.
I know how hard it is to move. And it takes a toll on someones life, especially at the age of 15.
Remember, time to start thinking of yourself. i know you love her, but push her to the side for a bit. Take care of your mind. What she tells you are lies.
Sometimes the ones we love the most and expect to love us the most, hurt us the most. I’m so sorry for the way your mom has been treating you. :(
Maybe your mom is kind of right. I dont mean the way she treats you is right but maybe you do need help. If theres things from yrs ago in your past that still upset you or have a bad effect on you then it sounds to me like you could use some help. Your mom is not being very nice or supportive about it & she certainly could say it in a nicer way but you should get help now while your still young, its soo much harder to do when you gey older but at your age your mind is more open to change & improvement.
im 16 yr old girl. and WOW!!
i never thought id hear from someone who is in the exact situation im in.
wanna talk? sounds like we got alot in common.
i to am a christian. i try really hard to focus on God, and just remember thats its all about him……..but gosh. it sounds like we have alot of the same problems…….there isnt much i can tell you though. im in the same situation, waiting until i can move out.
ill pray for you though, u should too.
im here if you wanna talk…..
J.N lost wrote:
Maybe your mom is kind of right. I dont mean the way she treats you is right but maybe you do need help. If theres things from yrs ago in your past that still upset you or have a bad effect on you then it sounds to me like you could use some help. Your mom is not being very nice or supportive about it & she certainly could say it in a nicer way but you should get help now while your still young, its soo much harder to do when you gey older but at your age your mind is more open to change & improvement.
Agreed.
Thank you all, so much for the response. I am so appreciative of all of the insight. Maybe I’ll just start bringing the right topics up, or saying things differently, and start being more strong. Part of it might be - I’m actually very strong… I don’t cry enough. I’m always keeping things inside. But I feel blessed with your caring. Thank you! & yes, she’s honest I know. But I won’t disrespect my mom, and if she says something I’ll say my respects. & if it turns out I go to the doctor and I’m told I need medication of some sort, I’ll find a way in life to work around a problem I have. My mother I think might be mean about things, I love her but I’ll talk to her about the way she talks to me. Again, I’m grateful for the responses.
You guys are great.
Goodluck - but don’t let anyone try to convince you that medications will fix your problems.
Most of the time, you just need to talk it out with someone who knows, like a counselor.
usurper wrote:
J.N lost wrote:
Maybe your mom is kind of right. I dont mean the way she treats you is right but maybe you do need help. If theres things from yrs ago in your past that still upset you or have a bad effect on you then it sounds to me like you could use some help. Your mom is not being very nice or supportive about it & she certainly could say it in a nicer way but you should get help now while your still young, its soo much harder to do when you gey older but at your age your mind is more open to change & improvement.
Agreed.
I think that if a young girl is having problems and she goes to her mom for help and her mom treats her like that, I do not think it is right. I mean comeone, who deserves to get hit and beat????? What kind of a parent is that?
At least she knows what is going on and maybe, the ONE person she can confide in is her mom and she can’t even have that?
Im not trying to argue with you, but I just don’t feel that is the rigth way her mom should handle that.
There are people who are sensitive and need mom to help us get through that stuff in life and make us stronger. Not by beating us and t ell us we have problems.
I have to ask, do you guys love your mom? Sit back and think, if your mom was NEVER EVER nice to you. What would that do to you???
I did not condone what her mother is doing, i merely pin pointed the issue’s from the posters past & advised getting help with these. I wouldnt condone her mothers behaviour & i am a bit offended that it would be thought of me to do that.
J.N lost wrote:
I did not condone what her mother is doing, i merely pin pointed the issue’s from the posters past & advised getting help with these. I wouldnt condone her mothers behaviour & i am a bit offended that it would be thought of me to do that.
No one ever said anything of you doing anything of this….So there really shouold be no offense. I am certainly not trying to argue at all!
I guess where I am coming from is that really, in my eyes, she does not need help. She needs a mother who is not going to tell her she is worthless, move her all around to different places, hit her, yell at her, have many different men in an dout of the house and tell her she doesn’t care. Really, the mom needs help.
MiaMags invited 1 user to read this post 5 months, 2 weeks ago.
i have problems with my mom also. it’s no fun and it hurts, a lot. To me a mother is the one that should listen and take care of her kids, and especially understand and love her daughter. It really hurts to know that your mom doesn’t get you and doesn’t bother to try. I’m really sorry hun. Just keep your head held high, don’t let her get to you anymore. Realize that even though you don’t have your mom you have other people, i’m sure you do, in your life that love you and you mean so much to them. Like you said you have God, and your worth soo much to him. Just keep being positive and make your way through it. You’ll go through a lot of pain and a lot of wishing that you had the mom that your friends do. If you have AIM and ever need someone to talk to my screenname is sparrowmarie. i’ll gladly talk to you and be a friend. I understand that you probably want friends that are face to face friends but sometimes an online friend is just as good. I wish you the best of luck and send love to you.
usurper
Gynan Tonix
littlenick
J.N Location unknown
[think peace]