relationship help: I recently had a huge blowout with my boyfriend and I hit him..he

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I recently had a huge blowout with my boyfriend and

I hit him..he is bruised from it and broke up with me..I am completely devastated..I understand the severity of what I did and apologized repeated to him his family and friends..also I am going to see a counselor for my anger issues..we had been going to couples counseling because he is very jealous and insecure and I wanted to support him..the jealousy and insecurities would often lead to arguments but it had been going well until this incident..I don’t know what to do..people say walk away..others say give it time love will prevail..I spoke with him and his family,friends and mind pull him one way and his heart another..we both love each other immensely..what can I do (if anything) to salvage my relationship?

Unfortunately this isn’t the first time it happened..we have been together since 2004..2 years ago I found out that he was talking to another woman because he thought I was cheating (which I wasn’t) so I threw a dish at him..we broke up for a year but managed to get back together..and now 2 years later I actually physically attacked him..I wasn’t raised in that type of household and he even agrees that I’m not that type of person..and I am willing to seek help and take the necessary steps to better myself..however..I don’t want to lose him…

This open post was written 5 months, 2 weeks ago | V/U/S: 192, 17, 5 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

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Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days.

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julien #
An Unknown Location | 5 months, 2 weeks ago (5 minutes after post)

do you know what it is that drove you to hit him twice ? he may be pushing the right buttons to get you there .. have you thought about that ?

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amcs1001 5 #
An Undisclosed Location | 5 months, 2 weeks ago (12 minutes after post)

I agree with julien - if you are not an agressive type of person normally, mabye hes purposly trying to push you

Help me with: My mother found my diary while cleaning my room today.

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julien #
An Unknown Location | 5 months, 2 weeks ago (1 hour, 10 minutes after post)

NoGifts wrote:
YOU are devastated? I think I can see a problem with that statement. You should work on mending this problem before you have a relationship with anyone else. If you are old enough to have a relationship, you are old enough to keep your hands and objects to yourself. If this is just a “toxic” relationship, you two should not be together. If this is a longer term issue, he really should not be with you. If I were a girl and you were my boyfriend, I would not trust that you wouldn’t do it again. Try to see it from his point of view.

I’m sorry - I dont agree. You are assuming too many things here - “If you are old enough to have a relationship” is pretty obvious from the initial post. “toxic” ? It’s happened twice. Toxic would be constant abuse. “If I were a girl” - she is ! Re-read the post.

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Dr. Ralph 64 #
An Unknown Location | 5 months, 2 weeks ago (1 hour, 22 minutes after post)

He sounds like a wuss… my wife hits me and throws things at me and I just laugh it off. He’s a man, he’s supposed to be the tough one.

Help me with: How can I make myself cheer for the Patriots even though I absolutely detest them?

julien #
An Unknown Location | 5 months, 2 weeks ago (1 hour, 25 minutes after post)

Dr. Ralph wrote:
He sounds like a wuss… my wife hits me and throws things at me and I just laugh it off. He’s a man, he’s supposed to be the tough one.

That’s rubbish - there is no excuse for abuse.

and that’s also rubbish :

“Read my post more carefully. Some people have speculated that he is “pushing her buttons”…that qualifies as a toxic relationship. Purposeful baiting to encourage bad behavior. I know she is a girl, laying hands on her boyfriend. If the tables were reversed, and the boyfriend were hitting the girl, we would say “don’t trust him, he’ll do it again.” “

It doesnt qualift for a toxic relationship if she doesnt relasise he is pussing her buttons - plus you didnt realise she is a girl otherwise if you read your post again you’d see that you said “If I were a girl and you were my boyfriend, I would not trust that you wouldn’t do it again”

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julien #
An Unknown Location | 5 months, 2 weeks ago (1 hour, 31 minutes after post)

NoGifts wrote:
You don’t know what a toxic relationship is, and you don’t understand the correct usage of “were” as in “if I were a rich man” which means “I’m not, but I’m imagining it.” Go study.

you wrote it !

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Dr. Ralph 64 #
An Unknown Location | 5 months, 2 weeks ago (1 hour, 46 minutes after post)

My wife weighs 95 I am ten inches taller than her and weigh 220 and am not fat… it’s not abuse it’s almost a joke when she hits me. I just laugh and it makes her even madder.

Help me with: How can I make myself cheer for the Patriots even though I absolutely detest them?

julien #
An Unknown Location | 5 months, 2 weeks ago (1 hour, 48 minutes after post)

Oh - I didnt realise it was about size. So is it ok to laugh about it because you are bigger than her - what happens when you have had enough and wack her back and she is on here ?

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Dr. Ralph 64 #
An Unknown Location | 5 months, 2 weeks ago (2 hours, 55 minutes after post)

I think it’s about inflicting injury. When the cops show up they want to see bruises. Been with her over 20 years and haven’t hit her yet so I don’t worry about it. If she wanted to hurt me she has a gun and 8 uncles and 20+ cousins who would love to kick my a$$. Actually I’ve never been in a fist fight except with my brother when we were kids.

Help me with: How can I make myself cheer for the Patriots even though I absolutely detest them?

Sweetsmilz2 0 #
An Unknown Location | 5 months, 2 weeks ago (11 hours, 58 minutes after post)

I know it may have not seemed like it but I do look at it from his point of view..first a dish and now marks on his neck..he has every right to think that i would do it again..but I talked with him yesterday and the night before..he agreed that I’m not that type of person and that I should get help for my anger..that he loves me very much wants to marry me etc etc..but on the other hand he’s listening to his family and friends when they said that we’re not meant for each other..but then he called me back to reiterate how much he loves me..he wants to see me but cant bring himself to do so just now..I don’t really know if there is hope..if time will heal and we will be able to have a relationship especially with interference from his family and friends..I just hope that by me starting anger management classes will not only show him I’m doing it for me but for us because I would never want to be in that situation and deeply regret that he ever had to be put in that situation..I love him very much..I’ve apologized repeatedly to him his family and friends..I’m going to see a counselor..what else can I do?

Dr. Ralph 64 #
An Unknown Location | 5 months, 2 weeks ago (20 hours, 41 minutes after post)

Kick the dog next time…

Help me with: How can I make myself cheer for the Patriots even though I absolutely detest them?

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Sweetsmilz2 0 #
An Unknown Location | 5 months, 2 weeks ago (1 day, 1 hour after post)

Listen..I already feel horrible enough..I know the severity of what I did and how devastated and hurt he is..as am I..I will never forget it or live it down..I know I need to control my anger and I’m going to counseling to do so..I explained this to him also..however I believe when two people love each other as much as we do that there should be some way possible to salvage the relationship..am I wrong to think so?

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