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Financial Trouble & Relationship

Throughout college and my first couple years out of college I got into some major credit card debt. I was making the minimum payments although it was draining me financially. I missed a few payments and the late fees started piling on and interest rates began rising. I am now at a point where I can’t afford to pay these off at the time being. I always had hopes of getting a better job out of college but have yet to get to that point. I have explored all of my options and have come to the conclusion that I need to file for bankruptcy.

Here is my issue%u2026I have had a girlfriend and we have been on and off, mostly on though for about two years. I haven’t told her about my situation yet because this is very personal to me, and I have wanted to make sure that I can trust her with that information. There is a chance that we could end up together but I am not 100% sure. I’ve been battling on when I should tell her because I know that it is my problem but that isn’t anything I would ever think about keeping from someone I could potentially marry. When and how should I tell her about it?

Thanks for your help!

This open post was written 3 years, 4 months ago | V/U/S: 282, 1, 1 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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Since writing this post OHBUCKS may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. OHBUCKS is a verified member, has been around for 3 years, 4 months and has 3 posts and 2 replies to their name.

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bankruptcy, girlfriend, credit card debt, relationship advice, Relationships (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

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C.M.Theisen offline Verified User (3 years, 3 months) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
Providence, RI, US | 3 years, 4 months ago (8 hours, 29 minutes after post)

Actually, you should definitely tell her sooner than later. If you marry, your bad credit rating will affect her own credit rating through any of your jointly held property. But there’s more to it than that…

I’m still not clear about how close a relationship you have with this woman, but the fact that you haven’t revealed this information makes me think you aren’t 100% committed to her. Moreover, she is probably going to draw that same conclusion if you continue to hide your imminent bankruptcy from her. I wouldn’t be surprised if your not keeping her informed about your financial situation might be more disturbing to her than the bankruptcy itself. There’s no good moment for this kind of news. So, frankly, I’d just tell her the very next time you see her.

Since you are at least considering marriage, you might be interested to know that this is the kind of crisis that will help you figure out if the two of you are compatible. After all, every marriage is guaranteed to have a money crisis at some point. So you may find that revealing your problem now may turn out to be an opportunity to see if the two of you have compatible attitudes towards money and how to weather financial setbacks. It might actually bring you closer together. If you a relationship that is truly based on friendship, she is going to want to help you with emotional support. You can do your part by being serious about fixing the problem as best you can with the help of a professional credit counselor.

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