marriage help: Am I some kind of sex freak? - Help.com



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Am I some kind of sex freak?

So, I’m a 30yo guy and me and my wife are married for 10+ years. We had fantastic sex during our first couple of years, and it was all slowing down since then. Now she shows no interest in it at all. It’s not like she’s refusing to have sex, but I really feel no enthusiasm from her — if I will not kiss her, she won’t kiss me; if I won’t touch her, she won’t touch me for days, that sort of thing.

Additionally, even when we have sex, she acts like “let’s have this intercourse and finish this quick”. But I actually enjoy foreplay and oral sex (both on her and on me) a lot more than intercourse. So I gradually become more and more obsessed with oral sex, to the point that I wait for my wife to fall asleep then get online to watch adult videos. It sounds kinda freaky when I write this, but that’s what I do more and more.

I don’t want a divorce, I don’t want to have some girl doing me blowjobs on the side and I don’t want to cause my wife to feel guilty because she doesn’t do something I want and she doesn’t. But sometimes I feel like I’m slowly going crazy. At times I can’t think of anything but sex, and mostly oral sex…

I’m desperate…

This open post was written 4 months, 3 weeks ago | V/U/S: 335, 7, 3 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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Replies (7)

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lostinatoodarkpark offline Verified User (10 months, 1 week) Long Term User Shouts: 3 #
An Undisclosed Location | 4 months, 3 weeks ago (4 hours, 21 minutes after post)

are there any other problems in your marriage?
anything that would make your wife feel/act like that?
have you talked to her about it?

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Anonymous #
4 months, 3 weeks ago (14 hours, 48 minutes after post)

I can’t say we have problems, we almost never argue or fight. I’m trying to do my best to make it a good marriage, always trying to treat her with respect, tell her I love her and all that. I really don’t know what could cause this slowdown in our sex life. Maybe she just got used to me and not interested in me any more? I don’t know.
As for talking about it — no, we don’t. I tried to do it once, saying something like “don’t you think we have slight problems with our marriage, or are your perfectly OK?” She started crying right from the start and couldn’t talk, just said something “I don’t see any problems, our marriage is great, but I think you’re just bored with me and now you’ll tell me that you’re going to leave me for someone else” It was hard to calm her down and I don’t want to start that conversation again…

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lostinatoodarkpark offline Verified User (10 months, 1 week) Long Term User Shouts: 3 #
An Undisclosed Location | 4 months, 3 weeks ago (16 hours, 36 minutes after post)

hmm k its very difficult to judge a situation like that for a person who doesnt know you or your wife… so consider that i might be mistaken

but it sounds to me like she she is very insecure, has low self esteem..
if you really havent given her reason to believe that you dont want her anymore its purely her own perception..
she might feel like shes not attractive anymore.. and therefore feels uncomfortabe having sex .. assumes that you also feel that way about her and dont really want her anymore..

does she have any other problems? is she depressed? is she very jealous?

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Gabrielcasian offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 4 months, 1 week ago (1 week, 6 days after post)

I’m the same way buddy and I need help to
my wife and I hardly talk to each other anymore
she said it’s my fault

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Gabrielcasian offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 4 months, 1 week ago (1 week, 6 days after post)

I think were getting seperated because of it

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Gabrielcasian offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 4 months, 1 week ago (1 week, 6 days after post)

I love her but I don’t know what to do
either I don’t know what I’m doing or I’m too small
or she’s not into me
I’ve only been with one other woman so I really don’t know
if u have answers let me know

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lostinatoodarkpark offline Verified User (10 months, 1 week) Long Term User Shouts: 3 #
An Undisclosed Location | 4 months, 1 week ago (2 weeks after post)

uhm i dunno maybe you could try relationship counseling

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