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Ever consider seeing a therapist? Whats going on?

sweetie i know how you feel.ive been suicidal for quite some time myself.you are not alone.

Ok. Take a deep breath. Everything right now probably seems like nothings working. Focus only on a beach or something calming. Then try to take action.

First of all, did you try professional help? It sounds a bit like depression is what’s getting to you, and that’s not your fault: it means that the chemicals in your brain are messing you up. A few pills (they’re not as bad as they sound) and you’ll be up on your feet in no time.

But if right now you just wanna talk, you came to the right place. I’m more than willing to talk to you about anything you’re feeling, and I promise I will do my best not to let you down.

Being suicidal can also be because of environmental stimuli that are getting you down. Anything going on?

I have to say: I’ve gone through a lot of those things.

Maybe not in the same way: I have not raised kids and it was my best friend that killed herself, not my boyfriend, but I’ve gone through the rest of it.

I’m 15 years old. Trust me, I understand the horror. And I understand that no one understands, that its worse then anything, that when you shut your eyes sometimes you flicker back to it, I know that sometimes people will grab your arm or your wrist or where ever he bruised you and you flinch without meaning to.

Take a deep breath. It’s all in your past. You have to keep thinking that. The cutting, for instance, that’s the present. That’s pain that’s /now/, not an old wound (that never seems old)B But everything else: time heals all wounds.

things are always changing, just as there are sunny days and raining days, bad times come and they do go. tough it out and be thankful your still around, think of all the soliders that die in war, that die very young and aren’t giving a chance that me and you have. Make the best of these bad times and use them to help you grow.

you have been through alot and i think the fact that youre standing is testament to your courage.obviously you dont really want to die otherwise you wouldnt be asking for help.what is the one thing in this world you love enough to stick around for?

Hi PBC,

Looks like some people are really concerned for you here tonight. Do you have anyone to talk to at all at home? Near you?

Jeremy

whenever you feel like dying,think of your sister.what would her life be like if you were gone?sticking around may be painful for you but your death would be painful for her.

Let’s talk about soldiers… my father was in vietnam as well. He never talked much about it, and lived a decent life. Quiet leader would really explain him. Then, a few years back, the guys that we in his unit contacted him and told him about some reunions. Since meeting with them… being with only those few that could fully understand him… since then, he’s like a man with a new life. It’s been amazing to watch that transformation happen for him.

My brother was a captain in the army from 1999 thru 2005, my cousin was enlisted in the marines… Afghanistan and Iraq - he was a forward observer (special ops type), and I spent 6 years in the Air Force - 1997 thru 2003. The one thing we’ve all had in common - and with most others as well - we didn’t want to get out because we all felt the same… “who can do MY job as well as me…” their is a great camaraderie and sense of connection in the military. Hopefully you don’t feel too bad for those in the military (i know I’m digressing, but hopefully getting your mind off things… forgive me if this didn’t help too much)

ive been there not for long tho, dont realy think i had it that bad tho but the feelings you have might be because your not feeling as though you are being noticed and i should imagine that if you feel like you are beingh noticed then these feeling will fade away a little but i found that i couldnt ask for help but i knew that i wasnt right so i used what mental strength i had to keep me going just so i could find what the next day would bring, i then got a job so i focused my attentions on my work rather than my feelings and then the feelings seemed to disapear - pherhaps something like this might help you as it is clear to me that you have the mental strength as you have been able to aks for help wher as many cant, so you have done really well (hope this helps - if not then im sorry)

perhaps hanja is right in saying

hanja wrote:
well we have to be stronger than our memories or we have no choice but to die. are you strong enough? what would your daughter want you to do? curl up in a ball, or show her how to overcome a problem?

perhaps it is best to take a step back for a moment and look at the people that mean the most to you (like your children) and look at the support that they are already giving you and the support that they need, as without you they would have nothing and would you really want to see them go into care where they stand the risk of suffering like you have? coz at the moment your the only one who can protect them no one else understands them like you do so be strong be there for them.

sorry im going to stop trying to help you not because of you but because im saying these things and they arnt exactly going to plan ie i men tion your children only to find your daughter is dead so im going to stop helping you so i dont bring back the bad memories

I have been to many a third world countries. I spent alot of time with “him” at places I didn’t want to be.

Spent 18 weeks in hati with “him”. Fixing houses helping people, and being raped.

I was in southamerica for 13 weeks, in numerous places, same as I said before. I was in Rwanda for 15 weeks, just like ^,.

First; I’m really sorry for your pain and the way you have been used:(
It sounds like you gave more help and support then most of the people in the world.

For this effort, you owe nothing to anybody, but they owe you:)
You have the right to be happy, safe and free:)

It would be fantastic if you had a place to call your own so your sister could visit or escape too when she is older.
An environment or Utopia you could call your own. I would suggest you list what you believe you would be comfortable with and take it. You have earned it!

All to often good, kind people have their self esteem damaged. That seem to be a dark side. If you were to get mad it would be understandable. If I can ask; what country do you live in now?

From reading your posts , seems like you been through hell of a lot. I sympathize with you and my prayers goes out to you. Dying will NOT solve anything. Sure it will end your life and that might seem attractive enough. However though did you think what if there is a better solution. Let me tell you this , you’re not the only one that’s going through hard time. I’ll give you a little bit of my own story just so that you see that you’re not alone and there is a solution to everything.

I was born and raised in a country full of wars (in the Middle East), seen my own place bombed to the ground when I was less than 6 years old, soldiers beating on us with the end of AKs, stealing our possessions, and lots more. Left to the mother land (in Africa) only to be forced to enter the military to fight in a civil war that I did not know about or even believe in. They would get us to discover land mine spots before the soldiers go in. My family was separated in several countries at that time because of parents’ jobs. Ended up reuniting at some point but was living in a country full of mountains and deserts. I ended up coming to Canada all by myself when I was 14 and worked my way through speaking English, dealing with people, learning to live, and so on. Got evicted from places and dealt with things while being all alone and still because my family is too far away.

It took me a while to get things in order but I finished school , found job , friends, and more. Not trying to compare at all , but I am trying to say that if I went through lots and felt the sadness and loneliness of not being with my family but went through it and accomplished my dreams and goals. SO CAN YOU. Think of what you want to do or wanted to become , what things do you want to accomplish or at least wanted to. Life can seem like a really hard thing to deal with but if you really want to face the challenge of life , you sure will. It’s all up to you and how you think about it. If you don’t want to help yourself , no one will ever be able to help you. Best of luck with everything.

Dear, I know how you feel… I don’t know why you feel that way - the history behind it, but I know how you feel… I am sorry for you. Sometimes, there is just not much to do… Sometimes we just have to feel that way - and to live in it… You know - it makes someone more alive to feel sad (I guess that you in some degree are sad, at least in your unconsciousness - considering the fact that you want to kill yourself)… Strong emotions, hard thoughts… They are awful, but in some strange way they remind you of that you are alive… And what would joy be without misery? The sader you get - the more room there is for happiness… You will feel how great it is to laugh, after heavy tears… I am sorry for you… I know how it feels - it feels so hard, so… You just don’t know how to hang in there… But be brave! Don’t fear your emotions. Sit down, and just FEEL HOW IT IS TO BE SAD… Accept it, and you will come to see that it is OK to be sad, and maybe even to “hate life”. It is human… Sometimes we think about how much life sucks and just how awful it is, and it is true - LIFE SUCKS, BUT - don’t forget, that there is also a lot of wonderful things to life. “Horrible” exists, but it does not have to erase “Wonderful”… ;) Accept your emotions for now, and you will come to see that tomorrow or some day soon it will all be better. If not, turn to someone you have faith in and ask for help. Lonliness is an awful feeling; we all need someone - BUT in the meantime, while you “are alone” don’t forget that you have yourself… Be gentle to yourself, love yourself - your own love is love too… If you understand me? And often, getting some sleep can be a very good thing to do… I know that it clears up my mind, and it gives me a break from the world… I wish you a better day tomorrow! Love, K!

…And EMPTINESS, can be a step up from sadness… You are SO SAD, that you just block it out - and end up empty…