Fat help: i am sad all the time.

billohnee_kitty0

i am sad all the time.

ok i need to get this off my mind. everytime i see myself i want to cry. i want to be normal like everyone else, look wise. i have been overweight ever since i could remember. i remember when i was a kid the my Dr would say its normal for me cause its the way i have always been but being fat is not normal. in my 20, almost 21 years of my life i have never been happy. and i see alot of cute/pretty fat people but i am not one of them i am fat and ugly. i have poor skin. i have excema and i think i also have something called Ichthyosis/Ichthyosis Vulgaris. because my legs look like the pics. i was searching one day about my skin and found the pics to this disease. its not has bad as some of the pics but its close and because of that i DONOT wear dresses(without tights or it has to be anckel long) and i dont wear shorts at any cost(it gets hot wearing jeans in the summer cali weather) i feel like everything is wrong with me, my skin my weight my looks. i have and uneven skin tone and since i am black(african-american)its super hard to find make up(haven’t found one to this day that works) i was very active person when i was in school. i was in sports i lift weights with my bro but i still was fat. i remember in 6th grade going to nurse to get physical done i was 5′6″ and 146lds i was so ashamed i was like the other girls in my grade they would tell each other their weight and it was like 90lbs 100lbs and stuff. i had some bad things happen in my childhood and by the age of 9 i had already tried to end my life(just ended up with a very sore stomach but still tried several times after that). i dont know where this post is going i am just very sad and i need to write about all the things in my head. rant! rant! rant! i tried starving myself before but only last so long before i just stuffed my face. i tried diet and working out back in high school when i did sports but no luck i was 5′7″ and 180lbs and could not go any lower then that i even joined dance team to get a dif type of work out. I am just so sad i dont know what to do with my self i dont know if its all in my mind or if i need help i just dont know any more and i am sad all the time.

This open post was written 5 months, 1 week ago | V/U/S: 231, 8, 4 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

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Since writing this post billohnee_kitty0 may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. billohnee_kitty0 is a verified member, has been around for 5 months, 1 week and has 1 posts and 2 replies to their name.

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Anonymous #
5 months, 1 week ago (5 minutes after post)

Pfft, I’m 325 lbs have acne and awesome skin and I’m feelin’ fine at 17. Oh snap I clicked anonymously, oh well I’ll uncheck it after I post this later, then again it’s not hard for someone who knows me to decipher (me) from the way my talking is. Anywho the message in my message is that some are worse off than you gotta go.

billohnee_kitty0 edited this post 5 months, 1 week ago. Read the previous text »

ok i need to get this off my mind. everytime i see myself i want to cry. i want to be normal like everyone else, look wise. i have been overweight ever since i could remember. i remember when i was a kid the my Dr would say its normal for me cause its the way i have always been but being fat is not normal. in my 20, almost 21 years of my life i have never been happy. and i see alot of cute/pretty fat people but i am not one of them i am fat and ugly. i have poor skin. i have excema and i think i also have something called Ichthyosis/Ichthyosis Vulgaris. because my legs look like the pics. i was searching one day about my skin and found the pics to this disease. its not has bad as some of the pics but its close and because of that i DONOT wear dresses(without tights or it has to be anckel long) and i dont wear shorts at any cost(it gets hot wearing jeans in the summer cali weather) i feel like everything is wrong with me, my skin my weight my looks. i have and uneven skin tone and since i am black(african-american)its super hard to find make up(haven’t found one to this day that works) i was very active person when i was in school. i was in sports i lift weights with my bro but i still was fat. i remember in 6th grade going to nurse to get physical done i was 5′6″ and 146lds i was so ashamed i was like the other girls in my grade they would tell each other their weight and it was like 90lbs 100lbs and stuff. i had some bad things happen in my childhood and by the age of 9 i had already tried to end my life(just ended up with a very sore stomach but still tried several times after that). i dont know where this post is going i am just very sad and i need to write about all the things in my head. rant! rant! rant! i tried starving myself before but only last so long before i just stuffed my face. i tried diet and working out back in high school when i did sports but no luck i was 5′7″ and 180lbs and could not go any lower then that i even joined dance team to get a dif type of work out. i just wish i could have something good about myself beside “personality” cause that does not matter in todays world.

eLxO 0 #
An Unknown Location | 5 months, 1 week ago (11 minutes after post)

Sweetie reading your heartfelt entry makes me want to cry, I don’t want you feeling like this, life is so short and precious, you a beautiful woman, you don’t feel it, but I really want you to. You have so much to offer this world, you are a kind, wonderful girl with so much insight into others. You’ve been through a lot and I feel like at a certain age you weren’t protected in the way you should of and someone really terrible happened to you, is that why you feel such disgust? I wish I could give you the biggest hug. You are very strong for having come this far, you need to relenquish all of that self hate, I know its a long journey but its going to take some time before you feel like the precious princess that you are.

What makes you happy? Not just exercise wise but what sporting, creative, thinking outlets give you a certain amount of satisfaction? Also, what stage do you feel you are at in your life? Are you currently studying or working full time? What have you always wanted to do, have you got an idea? Are you happy with where you are at right now in terms of your life (aside from the physical aspect which I know rains on everything else) Also, is there anyone in your family or a close friend that you feel comfortable talking to about how you feel, or have you been bottling up all of this?

I don’t want to tell you to exercise because being happy has nothing to do with that but I know that for me when I am depressed the only way I can get out of it is just doing 30 minutes at least a day of exercise, just a good walk. That will make you feel a bit better, get some fresh air, and once you feel a bit better in your heart you’ll feel better equiped to take charge of the other stuff.
I’m sorry I havent been helpful, I just want you to know that you arent alone and I’m cheering you on every step of the way. And I dont want you feeling like this anymore.

billohnee_kitty0 0 #
An Unknown Location | 5 months, 1 week ago (14 minutes after post)

i know many people are worse off and there are many more imporant things to worry about in life. but this is all that pleagues my mind night n day.. i am not one to show my feels i only write about them so people around me dont know how i feel about mysely inside. P.S. i am way heaver now then when i stated i tried to lose weight (180lbs). but thanks for posting

Anonymous #
5 months, 1 week ago (16 minutes after post)

BLAM! I found a fitting help! http://help.com/post/286163-great-wor…

(1)

billohnee_kitty0 0 #
An Unknown Location | 5 months, 1 week ago (23 minutes after post)

eLxO i dont know what makes me happy. i guess being with the people i love brings me the most joy. i do not work but i an statring college this fall for nursing but i always wanted to be a voice actress. i am ok with where i am i know i will be happier when i start school. i try to look at my life on the bright side and sometimes it works for but all these thoughts always come rushing back at the end of the day. i dont talk to anyone… its more like i cant talk to anyone i want to but when i try nothing ever comes out. i dont know why but i have always been this way i am quick to listen to peoples porbs but i cant express mine. it seem i can only write about them. thanks for replying

Victoria Sponge 12 #
Fritwell, K2, GB | 5 months, 1 week ago (55 minutes after post)

Hey Honey, MAC make up is fab and comes in all shades, just pop in and ask them to match you up with a make up, as for weight loss I have lost 10lb in 3 weeks, just switching to wholemeal bread, cutting back on alcohol, and having smaller servings I snack on fruit and veg and never really feel hungry and I treat myself to a weight watchers dessert once a week, if I can do it you can too, I have been struggling with my weight for 26 years now and feel I am finally getting a hold on it, always choose extra lean meats, chicken or turkey and lots of fresh or frozen veggies to go with them, stir frys are great too

Help me with: Great words of advice

baby___cake #
An Unknown Location | 5 months ago (4 days, 9 hours after post)

Heya..

When i read your post it really upset me.. its such a shame that a young person like you can feel this way, but a lot of young people do. Everyone just wants to be slim and barbie doll look a like and its alll the medias fault.
You need to learn how to appreciate yourself and like you for who you are and how youve been made. You should be greatful that you dont have any disabilities like other people.
Loosing weight can be tricky especially when you feel down about yourself because it seems like its not working within the first week lol. But you need to be patient. If you start working out at the gym and get the trainers to get your a programme and if u stick to it im sure within a few months you will start feeling so much better within yourself.
Hold your head up high and be proud of who you are. Also beauty isnt on the outside at what people see…true beauty is seen in your eyes and in your heart.
And trust me i no who you feel because im over weight and ive even been told that i am by people that are close to me and its upsetting. I also have bad skin and very bad pigmentation marking. A lot of the times i feel very lonley and down but some how i manage to pick myself up and talk to people that make me happy(not about how im feeling but just day to day things) Another thing if you write everything down in a diary on how u are feeling etc that will help to.
I really hope your feeling much happier and all the posts on here have helped you out. take care.

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i am sad all the time.

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