Why am I always left out?
No matter what i do, what i change, how nice i am to people…. there always comes the time when i am excluded, usually from things i really wanted… always: if i take the initiative, or if i act like i dont care, or if i act like i really care, or if i am indifferent, or if i express my anger, no matter what, all my life, i am always left out. why?
Since writing this post blacksu may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. blacksu is not a verified member, has been around for 4 years, 5 months and has 1 posts and 2 replies to their name.
Because you don’t take initiative, play them off keyboard cat!
cuz ur not speaking ur mind :(
Sometimes you have to understand that it’s just a part of life, albeit a cruel one. Believe it or not, it’s a universal thing too, even though it might not seem like it. EVERYONE gets left out at one point, even though some more than others. I am one of them, and it really hurts, I know. But it’s not something that you are doing wrong. Trust me, one day you’ll find good heart to heart friends who will include you on things you really want to do.
If your circle of friends don’t include you, or if they don’t take you serious enough, maybe you should find a new circle of friends. I know that’s not easy to do, but sometimes, taking a new path in life is like taking a new adventure. It can be exciting! Plus, you find things out about yourself and life, that you really do like or . . . love. Don’t let yourself always be the last one in line. Don’t let others always make the decisions or have the last word. You do matter and you have to live like you do. You are just as important as anyone else. There is no one better than you, and you are no better than anyone else. Do what you want. Say what you want. Go where you want. Just don’t always be the last in line. It’s hard, but if people feel that they can walk over you, they will. A real friend won’t do that. A real friend would hold the door open for you. (figuratively speaking)
i get left out all the time too.i pretty much keep everything to myself.i try so hard to make everyone else happy and i end up unhappy.we both need to speak up.
You shouldn’t keep everything to yourself. First of all, it’s not healthy. Second of all, YOU MATTER. Other people put themselves first right? Other people speak out, right? Other people do what they want, right? Well, you are no different. Speak out! If they don’t like what you’re saying . . . oh well. Too bad. Put yourself first. Always put yourself first. That’s what people do. If you don’t take care of you, no one else is going to either. Remember that.
I feel exactly the same way as you do! Its hard I know, and these people seem very ignorant and quite immature. I am sure when people mature they will realise what a lovely friend they had in you. In the mean time keep your chin up. Im taking you are at college/ high school, if so then you wont be there forever
I am left out of everything too, the problem is, my circle of friends is into different things(boys). They have different interests than me, so i can’t quite relate to them and thus feel left out all the time. What I have to say is probably too boring for them. I have to spend another two years at college, all i can hope for is that i remain too busy in my work to notice anything else.
my own faimley leaves me out
Im left out too. None of my friends talk to me. They just suck up to my brother. It’s really sad
Why is it that I am left out, even if I meet someone they don’t even want to talk? If im invited to a party; usually im the driver and thats all i am good for. no one really wants to talk to me except when they want something; i try not to show that im excited but after we’re done hanging out or what not there using me for they become jerks and dont talk to me. im invited to parties and stood up. I only had one birthday when the majority of the invites showed up but my cat died from a seizure that morning. same on facebook, no one will befriend me on facebook or start a conversation, i have to friend request people. I try not to worry about who I am cool with and who im not cool with and who my friends are cool with. I have a very few friends and they are all distant, like 25 miles is the least i would have to go to hang out. I know its not my looks, people tell me all the time to be a model, like i know i have good looks, and im still left out. even all the “good caring” people dont really talk to me only on a blue moon. and i know alot of girls and guys stare at me, my sister and her friends that are guys and girls tell me that they wish they were me because all these people check me out, but im never given the time of day, and if i say “hi my name is so and so, how are you” they give me the cold shoulder as if i already did something to them. people try to blame it on my mental diagnoses, i have friends with the same problem i have and they are almost like the center of attention so it cant be that. people say its the way i treat people, i get compliments and comments all the time about how well i treat people. people say its because im dumb, well i graduated high school and I got a really high score on the IQ test and ASVAB test so i know im not dumb. I’m everything people want not trying to sound cocky or like an ******* but I’m good looking, I’m a person that would go the extra mile bent over backwards for somebody, I’m pretty intelligent, and I also have a really good attitude about myself and towards others. and everyone everywhere i go walk all over me. Can somebody please give me an answer as to why that is.
The message I get from these messages is that you’re always feeling as though you’re the one left on the outer. I’ve had this problem for a lot of my life and so I decided to really look at the situation and what I discovered surprised me. You see, we will emulate our families (whether good or bad) in our friendships. What I realised was that I was always getting left out in my family life (it was dysfunctional, etc). Once I realised that, I started looking at the QUALITY of my friendships. I found that I was trying to win approval all the time because I had practiced this with my own family. The problem then started when people saw this as me being a push over. I was a people pleaser because I spent so much time on trying to ‘fit it’ that I lost myself in all of this. I ended up being very used and very alone. So, after some soul searching, I figured that if i was going to end up alone by being a people pleaser, I may as well end up alone being myself. Upon my soul searching journey, I came across a book and the following phrase really got to me: “I’d rather be hated for who I am than loved for I’m not…”. In that instant, something in me snapped; I made a decision that I was going to live up to this phrase. From that moment on, I learnt to say No a little more often, I wrote down things I liked about myself and what I wanted in good quality friends. I asked myself: what are my boundaries? What would others I want to attract to me see in me right now? What do I want them to see in me? How should I behave so that I can draw the best people to me and me to them. I’ve still got a way to go and it’s been tough. I’ve lost a lot of ‘friends’ and have many very few new ones. I guess it’s because I’m not being dishonest and I’ve become a bit of a hermit too. However, it’s not all bad either. The people I’m meeting are better quality for me. This isn’t about saying you’re better than this or that. But it is about acknowledging who you are, taking responsibility for what you can change, and acknowledging the type of people you are toxic too and the ones you’re good for. Once you start on this journey, I’m sure that, as I have, you’ll be richly rewarded.
I hate people that leave others out!!! Those types of people, their lives are worth less than a $5 pair of shoes and they stink more than old socks! They mostly do it because your too individual and don’t “fit in” enough… Well F** them! The way you beat those loozers is to learn how to not try and get close too fast (give them space) and try to keep everything you say relivant to what their talking about. Don’t initiate conversation that much at first, just reply, and keep the replys short… That is until you know them better. Oh and don’t be your self because it’s hard for those ar*e ho**S to understand or comprehend the idea that someone other than them could have a personality! Good luck!!
My sisters jillette and Brittany and brittanys feaonsay always leave me out and they are babbysitting me RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You know, I go through that myself. I’ve come to the conclusion that I am a wonderful person and I quite like who I am. Liking yourself is the first step. Carry the confidence that your time matters just like the next person. If you get invited out, go out, but don’t talk about work, never gossip about others and respect people’s space.
Come up with certian interests that you like doing by yourself, in my case, I’m an aspiring author in history romance. When other’s are doing their own thing you do yours. When you want a catch a movie, invite a friend casually, like last moment. Don’t wait for others to invite you,if it’s appropriate (not when someone is having a date) let them know you’re tagging along.
Build your life resume, meaning, do things you have always wanted to do when people are telling you you can’t. Find out how to do it and then go for it!
And you will discover that people will want to spend time with you more and more. It works, trust me!!
I am so sick of this Trash as well. I hangout with everybody at my school they all listen to me, laugh at my jokes, say hi to me in the hall way and even offer to buy me stuff in the cafeteria. (I go the extra mile for all these people and leg them now they they are all appreciated by me). I am always comfortable when I am at school but it seems like when class is over so are my friendships. Most recent example would be an hour ago. I offered 3 of my ungrateful ******* friends a ride home and during the car ride home they made plans to hangout right after and no one even glanced at me. These are 3 of my better friends as well. They all got out of my car at my one friends house to play Nazi zombies on the new black ops. Of course after saying “peace out bro” to me like we are the best of friends. Tomorrow when I go to school they will undoubtably talk about it and explain to me how much fun they had. I will stand with a lying smile muttering “cool”. Just like every other ******* time. I can’t believe these idiots ignore me especially after I give them a ride home. It really hurts man. This happens every second day and there is about a 1 in 100 chance that I will get invited. I invite these ignorant ***** to everything and they are usually eager to come but god forbids they invite me. I receive compliments on my looks and intelligence occasionally and it is my life goal to make people happy and feel like they are all wonderful. I myself am 100% comfortable in my own skin but I don’t know how much longer I can do this. This thing with the planning fun in my car has happened like 5 times before and I swear this is the last. **** them all. What do I do? (p.s. I take good care of myself hygene wise and I dress fairly decently). The only thing that I can think of that my deter my friends from hanging out with me is the fact that they all smoke weed and I refuse smoking weed. I would gladly drink with them though. IF They would invite me once in a while. I ask again what do I do? Thank you in advance for you’re help beautiful people. Sincerely Brock (16 year old boy)
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