relationship help: I am desperate to save my relationship! - Help.com



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I am desperate to save my relationship!

I have been going out with my boyfriend for well over a year. We have been long-distance for about a year of it now. He took a job away from where I am going to school. Everything with him used to be so perfect. We have the same goals, values, and direction in life. But lately things have been changing. We used to talk on the phone for 1-2 hours every night. We still talk every day, but not for nearly as long as before. And he always has some stupid excuss for why he has to cut the conversation short. We try to see each other as often as possible, but I am always the only one who has to travel. We usually split the price of airfare, sometimes he pays the whole thing because I am broke. But he rarely comes here to see me. He always seems depressed or angry, and not necessarily by me but something that he wont discuss with me, and every time I bring it up he gets angry with me for asking what is bothering him. I really dont feel that I am being overbearing or annoying towards him, all I ask is if he is ok and if anything is bothering him. On top of that, he keeps saying that he will transfer to the city I am in, but then in other discussions says that he wants to move somewhere else (further away from where I am). The crazy thing is, he has been acting this way when we are on the phone together, but when we actually see each other things are great! Better than great! I am worried he is losing interest in me, but I feel like everytime I talk to him about it he gets defensive and upset. Sometimes I feel like he loves me more than anything, other times I believe that his work will always place first. I love this guy so much, and most of the time I feel that he loves me, but how do I get through to him if he wont tell me what is going on.

This open post was written 5 months, 1 week ago | V/U/S: 155, 1, 2 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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relationship, Communication, Long-distance (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

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Anonymous #
5 months, 1 week ago (22 minutes after post)

stop trying to talk to him about it for a while, and i dont mean for a few converations, i mean for a good while
he sounds like he may be feeling a little confused so when you ask he becomes defensive because he doesnt even know whats wrong with himself, he may just be feeling out of sorts, but to be asked to try to explain this can be agitating, even though your only trying to help
if he has something he needs to talk about he will either come to you when he’s ready or seek guidance from someone else, dont be offended if its someone else, quite often people need to talk to someone that isnt too close to them.
let him have his distance, it doesnt mean things are going bad for your relationship, it just means that he needs to work some things out as an individual, not as a couple.
You can give your support simply by remaining positive, finding positive things to talk about, and knowing that he does love you, try not to worry so much, he’ll sort it out

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