Love help: Am I justified in searching my boyfriends email? - Help.com



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Am I justified in searching my boyfriends email?

I don’t feel real great about looking at it, but it’s 3 in the morning and I can’t sleep because this bad feeling won’t leave.

So, I just checked his email because yesterday, while we were on his computer, he logged on to his email. The first two messages I saw were from a girl he’s known for a long time and he has told me that he used to have feelings for her, but gave up because she didn’t return them. For the email service that he uses, you have to wait a bit for new emails to show up. He didn’t give it anytime to do so. He acted kinda like he had forgotten that the two emails (from this girl) were on there, and to hopefully make sure I didn’t see, immediatly clicked out of his email.

I didn’t say anything of course but a bad feeling has been bothering me since then. I couldn’t sleep so I got on and checked, and all the emails have been deleted. He also deleted them from the trash bin and also any emails from the past two months it looks like from his sent messages.

We’ve have talked seriously getting married and I’m thinking that if he didn’t love me, then he wouldn’t be still intrested in getting married.

Am I being way too untrusting and possibly a bit jealous?

This open post was written 5 months ago | V/U/S: 357, 8, 8 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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partlythere offline Verified User (11 months, 4 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
An Unknown Location | 5 months ago (4 minutes after post)

what i dont understand is why you and your boyfriend dont have the relationship where you can talk openly about this. surely that is the real issue.

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Gynan Tonix offline Verified User (6 months, 3 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 10 #
An Unknown Location | 5 months ago (4 minutes after post)

yes. and you’re also reading HIS e-mail, which is a definite privacy violation, and illegal. it’s just the same as opening a postal letter sent to him.

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scary doll offline Verified User (1 year, 8 months) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
An Unknown Location | 5 months ago (7 minutes after post)

I think if you want to be his ex girlfriend then you are going the right way about it. How would you feel if he checked your emails? I think there is a problem with trust going on there that you have to sort out before you can even use the word marriage.

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The Lost Soul offline Verified User (1 year, 2 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 5 months ago (7 minutes after post)

yes and no…you should never violate each others privacy or space..it should never be necessary. However, things like email should never be kept secret…unless someone works for the government, then that level of secrecy is destined to destroy the relationship…even if infidelity isn’t an issue.

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nopenotme3 offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 5 months ago (7 minutes after post)

He told me I could get on to his email if I ever wanted to. I just never felt right about doing it so I never did, until now. And I was going to talk to him about it and yes, I am going to tell him I got onto his email.

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Bella. offline Verified User (1 year) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 5 months ago (25 minutes after post)

This is a tough one because although checking his email is a slightly paranoid, invasive thing to do, he’s being secretive and acting suspicious.

Really, if you can’t just confront him over it and sit down to talk about this then you shouldn’t be getting married. Tell him that you saw there were emails from this girl, and that you know he’s deleted them both from his inbox and the trash bin. If he looks shifty or guilty then you need to have a proper talk. If he has a reasonable explanation, or even a confession and an apology, then you can probably just drop it.

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Help me with: Rant
Miss Jessica Bunny offline Verified User (7 months, 1 week) Long Term User Shouts: 26 #
An Unknown Location | 5 months ago (1 hour, 16 minutes after post)

You’re never justified in that. I dumped a boyfriend of almost 3 years for doing that, he hacked into almost every account of anything I had, found NOTHING but that was it, my trust was broken. So no, never justified.

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Jasimpathara offline Verified User (4 months, 2 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 4 months, 2 weeks ago (2 weeks, 4 days after post)

Hai iam Jasim frm india,kerala
iam not a perfectman but my heart full of love
my no:9633560252##
mail id: i> small>(email removed) /small> /i>
snd me msgs

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