does life get better?
well to start i just turned 26. lately it just seems like im getting really old. i know its not but i have done alot in my life already and seems like there isnt much to look forward to. i guess alot changed when one of my close friends past away. this was in 2006. after that i pretty much shut all of my friends out of my life.. i have been in steady relationships.. i was actually with the same girl for 6 years. and it didnt work out.. then got in a lil bit more mature relationship for 3 years and it didnt work out. after that alot happend, i ended up catching a case for defending my parents. (random dude was ****** with my parents and i wasnt gonna let anything happen).. needless to say the guy pressed charges and it became a big deal.. trial was a lil over a year long. very stressfull and hard to deal with. kinda sucks that at a time like this i didnt have any friends to pick me up. after jail time fines community service and all that crap, i decided to attempt to have friends in my life, but there was still some kind of akwardness around em. we were real tight all thru high school and a few years after but it didnt seem right anymore, so one night i was out with a few friends and 7 dudes decided to start **** with us, (only 3 of us) first i wasnt gonna get involved but my friends were there and i was gonna let them get jumped.. so obviously there was a big brawl, and as i was on the ground gettin kicked an hit with bats i look up and see my 2 so called friends just standing there watching. i guess i dont have to tell u that was the last we ever talked or hung out. a week later i got out of the hospital with “**** the world” type of atitude. so since then all i do is work and sleep.. i havent hada real conversation with someone outside of my family. so since u read thru all of that here goes whats really on my mind, it seems like something is missing, like i do want more for me and i want to have goals, however i have no ambitions, it seems like im working toward nothing, ive tried to socialize more but it really isnt for me anymore. i know alot of responses are gonna be conseling or some type of meds cause it sounds like depression.. but ive went down the road befor and it just wasnt for me. i just want to beileve theres more out there, like i havent been alive and living for nothing. feeling lost really sucks, and i put it off and pretned like its all good, but really it isnt.. honestly, im not even sure if im looking for advise, like i said i have no friends and its alot easier to open up to a monitor and a keyboard then an actual person.. so thanks if u actually took the time to read this. and please if u got any suggestions or if u had simular feelings get back at me.. thnx again!
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itsonlyme edited this post 4 months, 4 weeks ago. Read the previous text »
Hey everyone
well to start i just turned 26. lately it just seems like im getting really old. i know its not but i have done alot in my life already and seems like there isnt much to look forward to. i guess alot changed when one of my close friends past away. this was in 2006. after that i pretty much shut all of my friends out of my life.. i have been in steady relationships.. i was actually with the same girl for 6 years. and it didnt work out.. then got in a lil bit more mature relationship for 3 years and it didnt work out. after that alot happend, i ended up catching a case for defending my parents. (random dude was ****** with my parents and i wasnt gonna let anything happen).. needless to say the guy pressed charges and it became a big deal.. trial was a lil over a year long. very stressfull and hard to deal with. kinda sucks that at a time like this i didnt have any friends to pick me up. after jail time fines community service and all that crap, i decided to attempt to have friends in my life, but there was still some kind of akwardness around em. we were real tight all thru high school and a few years after but it didnt seem right anymore, so one night i was out with a few friends and 7 dudes decided to start **** with us, (only 3 of us) first i wasnt gonna get involved but my friends were there and i was gonna let them get jumped.. so obviously there was a big brawl, and as i was on the ground gettin kicked an hit with bats i look up and see my 2 so called friends just standing there watching. i guess i dont have to tell u that was the last we ever talked or hung out. a week later i got out of the hospital with “**** the world” type of atitude. so since then all i do is work and sleep.. i havent hada real conversation with someone outside of my family. so since u read thru all of that here goes whats really on my mind, it seems like something is missing, like i do want more for me and i want to have goals, however i have no ambitions, it seems like im working toward nothing, ive tried to socialize more but it really isnt for me anymore. i know alot of responses are gonna be conseling or some type of meds cause it sounds like depression.. but ive went down the road befor and it just wasnt for me. i just want to beileve theres more out there, like i havent been alive and living for nothing. feeling lost really sucks, and i put it off and pretned like its all good, but really it isnt.. honestly, im not even sure if im looking for advise, like i said i have no friends and its alot easier to open up to a monitor and a keyboard then an actual person.. so thanks if u actually took the time to read this. and please if u got any suggestions or if u had simular feelings get back at me.. thnx again!
lyneee5
drewberryfan2
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