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First of all, this is gonna be long and I’m sorry but you need to know everything to help me.
So thanks for sticking with me. I’m a 51 year old woman married 35 years. Yes, I said 35 years. I’m lonely, fed up, tired and I’m gonna die like this if I don’t do something. He’s an extremely passive, emotionless person. We don’t have sex but once a year or so if that. Mostly because he jumps on and then off with no affection, romance or anything. It’s just not worth my time with that. We don’t sleep together due to his snoring and the fact I don’t want to sleep with him. He won’t take a bath after working all day. I need companionship. Someone to talk to. We have nothing in common. He comes home from work, might say hi, might not. I fix his plate, he eats in the living room and I eat in my room. That’s mainly because he eats very quickly and then lays down and falls asleep. There’s just nothing there. He does nothing to tell me he’s concerned or is looking out for me like having the porch light on for me if I have to leave. I need his attention but it’s like he’s so uncomfortable with getting out of his comfort zone that he can’t handle it. He won’t touch me when in public. Yes, I’m over weight and that has been a source of his lack of attention but I am what I am and I need and deserves his attention. He flirts big time right in front of me. He’s a pack rat and keeps bringing stuff home and junks up the house, gets mad at me if I try to get rid of things. I’m just not able to do things that I used to due to fibromyalgia, and bone deformities in my feet and a few other health issues. He has gone out on me before and we split up for a while after that. I took him back because I know everyone can make mistakes so I forgave him. But I can’t help but think that he’s a man and has desires. He leaves sometimes for work way too early. I know I don’t want to have sex with him and I may be a part of him having another woman because of that but I just can’t help it. He never includes me in any of his plans. Doesn’t ask me what I want to do. We go nowhere, or do anything together. If there is something he needs to do around the house or anything really, and he doesn’t know how to do it he ignores it. If I ask him to help me with something like hanging pictures or moving furniture, we wind up in an argument because he thinks he knows how to decorate. He truly truly has no ability or understanding in doing this so he gets very defensive and I am weary of the arguing so I just quit trying. If I put something up on the walls, he’ll change it when I’m not around. Or he’ll even change things around in the kitchen cause he doesn’t agree with where they are. He gets upset at me because I have things organized in the kitchen where I can find them and I ask him to put things back there. He tells me I’m a perfectionist. But he’ll come home and just throw things everywhere. And that’s where I’m at now with the whole thing. I’ve given up. I’ve given up on this marriage, myself and life in general. I really don’t care anymore. I don’t want to be here anymore. I’m soooo very lonely and miserable. He knows that the things he does or doesn’t do is wrong, we’ve talked about things and he may stop or change a few things but everything goes right back. I have no external family or friends. My family is very disfunctional so no help there. I have no job mostly due to my health. I’m desperate and in need of help. Now….. I have come to the conclusion that my weight is the biggest henderance to my future so I’ve started losing weight so I can get a job but that’s going to take time. And I’m starting to put money aside, what little I can. My question is: Am I doing the right thing? I mean 35 year are alot of years. But due to his unwillingness and seeming inabilities to change I don’t see even a glimmer of a chance of this getting any better. He willingly chooses to do these things. Anyone have suggestions. I’ve got to make some changes or I’m gonna die like this and that’s simply unacceptable. Your help is appreciated.
This open post was written 5 months ago | V/U/S: 95, 1, 2 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post
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