boyfriend help: Is my boyfriend gay, how do I start a conversation, what do I say to come to a conclusion about this, I dont want to upset him or hurt his feelings. - Help.com

The fact that he doesn’t seem very into you sexually is a good indicator that this relationship of yours might not be worth continuing with. I hesitate to say anything definitively without knowing your guy, but from what you describe, if he isn’t gay, you at least make him sound bisexual.

Just try to talk to him about it. You just need to flat out ask him and tell him about your suspicions. I strongly suspect he is very uncomfortable facing that part of himself (hence, the reason why he only flirts with guys when drunk) so there’s no guarantee he will be able to be honest with you. People who are in the closet about their own sexuality can go to really insane lengths to avoid being outted. But it never hurts to try to talk about it. And definitely follow your instincts. If you suspect he can’t be honest about what is really going on, then you might just have to break off the relationship without ever getting concrete proof or a clear admission.