Coming out help: How do I tell my soon to be college roommates I’m gay? - Help.com

Ooh, goodness.
Here’s what’s important; tell them NOW. You do not want to be dealing with this a week into the semester. You don’t have to make a big ceremony of it; just mention it.
“I like music, and movies, and hot men…”
(Sorry, bad joke)

But seriously. Tell them now, and then tell them this:

“if you have a problem with this, or if you think this is going to be a problem at any point in the future, we can call the college together and mutually request a roomate switch.”
If you make them feel like the bigoted bad guys, you could be stuck with ****** bigoted roomates simply because they’re trying to prove that they aren’t– are you following me here? Even though this is not in ANY way a flaw or something you are “at fault” for, if you spread the “blame”, you can make everyone feel easier about it all without pointing fingers. If they have issue, it’s not their fault, probably; it’s how they were raised.

If they have issue, call your college; you can probably either find roomates who are more open-minded, or who share your sexuality, OR request a room by yourself (although that’s considerably less fun).

Hope it helps!

I’d suggest tell them when you first meet them, just let them know that you won’t touch them in the night…

But if this is a dorm thing where you can request to change roommates, let them know in time to do that, and don’t take too much offense if they do that.

Also, if you let them know face to face, make a joke about it, like you’ll introduce them to all the girls you know (stereotype that gay guys get along with girls better) if they introduce you to all the guys they know, etc.

Good luck

I would let them get to know you. If they like you and yall get along just be like “hey I’m gay, and no I am not attracted to you.”

You dont have to tell them your gay right away. You wont even be telling a lie because who will bring it up? If they bring it up, tell them the truth. But I wouldnt even blurt it out there until it comes up.

tell them. they have a right to not live with a gay dude if they dont want to.

do you have to tell them at all.
Isn’t this a private matter for you only?

no

It is a private matter.

Dr. Foreman wrote:
no

Havefunatlif wrote:
It is a private matter.

I think this depends on whether he pushes his beliefs on people / stalks or hits on his roommates.

I think if they have a problem with it. THEY can find new room.

If they get to know you and like you as a person then I think that they might be albe to accept it and not judge you. Prepair for that one conversation about how its a sin if they really are that religious and when that conversation accures simply say. “He who is without sin cast the first stone” or “Doesnt your bible also say not to judge people?”

good luck.

Joy. wrote:
I think if they have a problem with it. THEY can find new room.

If they get to know you and like you as a person then I think that they might be albe to accept it and not judge you. Prepair for that one conversation about how its a sin if they really are that religious and when that conversation accures simply say. “He who is without sin cast the first stone” or “Doesnt your bible also say not to judge people?”

good luck.

would you be okay with a guy youve never met sleeping in the same apartment as you?

I don’t know how well this point got across, but whether you need to tell them or not right away, and how you tell them really depends on how much you believe your personal choice is going to affect them.

For example, say someone sleeps naked, if they are sharing a dorm with someone, where they are in the same room, it would be pretty important to mention that they sleep naked. But if they are in the same house, but in different bedrooms, it really doesn’t matter if he tells his roommates he sleeps naked, it may come up later, but it doesn’t matter.

In the first case, it affects the roommates a lot, they sleep in the same room, in the second case, it has no affect on the roommate, so it’s not important to discuss.

Dr. Foreman wrote:

Joy. wrote:
I think if they have a problem with it. THEY can find new room.

If they get to know you and like you as a person then I think that they might be albe to accept it and not judge you. Prepair for that one conversation about how its a sin if they really are that religious and when that conversation accures simply say. “He who is without sin cast the first stone” or “Doesnt your bible also say not to judge people?”

good luck.

would you be okay with a guy youve never met sleeping in the same apartment as you?

as long as he didnt hit on me or try anything, yes I would. I get along better with guys anyway.

now i know youre full of crap. normal people wouldnt want that. i know id be super pissed if i found out my room mate was gay and he didnt tell me.

Dr. Foreman wrote:
now i know youre full of crap. normal people wouldnt want that. i know id be super pissed if i found out my room mate was gay and he didnt tell me.

well thats you.

and you asked ME for what I would do. Perhaps you should have asked your version of a ‘normal’ person that question to have gotten the answer you were looking for.

Since me being honest obviouslyt isnt good enough for you.

its not good enough for you that i dont think you ARE being honest?

Dr. Foreman wrote:
its not good enough for you that i dont think you ARE being honest?

lol I couldnt care less if you think that, your wrong. You should make sure the next time you ask someone a question in hopes of them proving your point for you, you ask someone who is a closed minded as you.