Love help: Ahhhh relationships :/ fun! - Help.com

well is there any way you could be as happy with ur second boyfriend as you were woth the first? because if there is then stick with him. if not then (without losing what you have for sure aka boyfriend) try to reconnect with your ex, just test the waters and if you notice he misses you as much as you do then make an executive decision and pick one. if u pick ur ex, the best thing to tell ur boyfriend is that you thought you were ready for a relationship after ur breakup but realized you werent. i hope this helps

It is hard to let go of old boyfriends, but you must realize if this new BF makes you happy, you should forget all about the old one and love your new BF with all your heart! Be super-sure to respect him, and it’s wonderful that you don’t want to hurt him. I’m sure you’ll be fine! :)

Okay look at it like this, whom makes you happier? Obviously the guy you left or you would not be here.

It is wrong to stay in a relationship just because you do not want to hurt someone’s feelings because ultimately you are only making things worse. You care for your boyfriends however, if he was your “one” you would be like omg he is my everything, I love him, etc… You are not though. There are several forms of love and even though you love him your not “in love”.

Now you are “in love” with your first boyfriend however, messed up. Here is what you have to do in order to be truly happy.

First leave your boyfriend, yep leave him. Hard, but your heart is not there. Let him go so he can one day find someone whom will love him like no other.

Next, get yourself together. You cannot go anywhere else until your mind is straight.

Now you make contact with your ex. Expect to be ignored, rejected, him not really “being there” etc.
I’ve been that “guy” and believe me he’ll probably have some sort of grudge still against you. You said he is “perfect” So chances are he really loved you and you hurt him a lot especially if he knows about your current relationship.

Tell the truth you can not go wrong with the truth. He’ll want you to make yourself seem stupid like a ha told you so deal. Here is the tricky part though you have to admit you messed up, that you love him, not seem too pathetic, strong and weak at the same time… Don’t try to “jump” into it. This is about him now not you, remember that.

Make contact, short and sweet. Do not bring any of the past up. Just hi, nice to see you… He’ll be thinking about you then.
Next try to set up a little date, ask (no text/email) if he’d like to go out for coffee, lunch w/e… chances are he’ll say yes if he is interested, if he is good he’ll keep you waiting. He’ll say something like Im busy how about friday (usually 3 days from the date you propose.)

During your date do not talk about the past at all, dress nice but not too nice don’t want to make it seem like your trying to hard. Also do not mention any relationships you had after him what so ever those guys are dead to you. Just talk normal and then sneak it in be like I miss the times when we _____… I am sorry for _____ I shouldn’t have left…. Then continue your convo.

Now its up to him, he may need some time to think about it or he may just be like YES ABOUT TIME !!!!! So it may take a few days but if he truly loves you and you truly love him then within a week it will be all better.

The tricky part is keeping it like that after u guys are back together. He’ll remember so for a little while you’ll be more or less proving yourself to him. Proving that you truly love him, proving that you wont leave, proving your faithful…. Its not that hard just be yourself and honest. You cannot go wrong with the truth.

No arguing, attitude, seeming desperate, or talking about the past. Mention it on your date and that is it.

Good luck.

Also if you did hurt him and he knows about your relationships after him expect the a$*hole response or question about him. This means he still holds a grudge and is hurt, but he is talking to you so most likely he still loves you.
If he just ask casually then that means he is just curious and in most cases means he wants you back.
Do not try to make him jealous or anything alone those lines. If at any given time he feels you are not 110% in it for the long wrong he is sure to walk out or worse lead you on then one day be like yeah remember that time ____ peace. Revenge!!!

Only contact him if you truly 100% love him with all your heart and are sure you made a huge mistake and will not leave again.
If not then don’t waste his time.

You said you are going through all this trouble not to hurt anyone.
Why do you say that? You already hurt your first boyfriend, you hurt yourself, and ultimately not being in it 110% with your new boyfriend will hurt him. Also the longer you let this drag out the more everyone gets hurt. For all you know your ex is waiting for you and is hurt like crazy, but the longer you wait the less lucky your chances are of getting him back. Your dragging this all out and beating yourself up. Just tell your new boyfriend he is good, but you love your ex. He may hold on though so it is best for everyone that you cut ties with him for good.

Good luck

Expect your 1st bf to be an a$%hole, but do not let it get to you its only temporary.
Example you may say I messed up____ and he’ll say yeah well the grass was greener/you did what u thought was best… etc
You have to prove yourself to him it is an audition! If you ever want what you once had back you will put up with this.
Depending on what you did after you left and how much you hurt him will depend on how long it will take for things to be back to normal and eventually even better. On the other hand he may not be feeling it after some time and leave.
Its all up to you now, prove yourself and you’ll get your love back.

It all depends on how much you hurt him and how committed you are.
If you hurt him a lot most lucky he will ignore your text, emails, phone calls, “bumping into him” etc.
It’ll be hard but not impossible,

Many girls want a “perfect” boyfriend however, when they get one they always mess it up.
Usually for one of two reasons either he does not take control and girls find that a turn off or he mess up. Girls seem to think that “perfect” guys won’t mess up and the second he does its peace! What they don’t realize is that he is only human. There are not many “perfect” guys out there so when you find one you should do your best to keep him. Remember they can get any girl they want so you more or less auditioning.

I’ll take it that he messed up and you said peace then most likely started to “hate” him/be mean to him etc.
This is the usual case and most girls don’t realize they really just hate themselves and regret leaving.

Admit your mistakes and prove you love him and wont do it again.
90% of relationships can be rekindled it all relies on you now.
Prove that your the best for him…

It seems like you like your first boyfriend more. Meet up with him, talk to him, see where he’s about, but know that he must be afraid to get back with you if he was hurt.. the sooner you do, the less severe the heartbreak for the other guy and yourself.

And the more likely your 1st will be to take you back.

How long were you with your first boyfriend?