I almost broke up with my girlfriend earlier.

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I almost broke up with my girlfriend earlier.

We’ve been going out for about five and a half months now, but for the last couple of months I really haven’t felt like I’ve been getting anything out of the relationship. I haven’t really talked to her about it because we’ve both had exams and we’ve both been really stressed out about them, and it wasn’t worth screwing up one or both of our degrees in the meantime. Anyway, the exams are over now and I’ve gone home for the summer. We’re only living 3 hours apart on the train but as I work weekdays and she works weekends, and neither of us has money for tickets, we might as well be in different countries. For the last week I’ve been so busy readjusting to living with my family that I’ve completely forgotten to call her, but when she calls me I can never think of anything to say.

Anyway, she rang me earlier today to ask how I thought things were with us, and to see if I still wanted to be with her. I was as evasive as I could be, but I did tell her I still wanted to be with her. Thing is, I don’t know if that’s true. When we’re together everything’s good but when we’re apart it’s like I’m single, just without the perks. Given the amount of time we’re going to be spending apart over the next few months, this doesn’t bode well. I feel so bad about the thought of breaking up with her - we went out for about five months last year, and exactly the same thing happened at the start of last summer. I think I need to accept that it just isn’t meant to be, but I know she has really strong feelings for me, and I care for her too and don’t want to see her get hurt, especially not on account of me.

I already know what I need to do here, I just needed to get all this down in writing. If you’ve got any thoughts on this, please share.

This open post was written 4 months, 1 week ago | V/U/S: 178, 27, 5 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

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fjdsakfjdl #
An Undisclosed Location | 4 months, 1 week ago (4 minutes after post)

. . . I’m almost in the same boat . . .
It seems like its easier just to find someone else…
but is it? is it really?

Why. . .

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Anonymous #
4 months, 1 week ago (5 minutes after post)

To be honest I kinda miss being single - if we did break up I’d be staying that way for the forseeable future. Relationships are too much like hard work.

Cecilia 2 #
An Undisclosed Location | 4 months, 1 week ago (6 minutes after post)

My only thoughts are that you seem like a dead nice amazing guys. The fact that you are so concerned about not hurting her is really nice. I know a lot of guys who wouldn’t even think about that. They’d only care for themselves. But that will probably inadvertently make it harder for her because you’re so nice. But I think the fact you are so in tune to not hurting her will make it easier for her.
For example, my friend just got dumped by her boyfriend and two days later, he was sleeping with someone else. And they had supposedly been in love and almost getting married. You don’t sound like you would do anything like that. And I think you will automatically know in your heart how to handle each aspect of it so she doesn’t get hurt, but so you also do what is right for you.

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Dorian 7 #
An Unknown Location | 4 months, 1 week ago (9 minutes after post)

No, I’m acutely aware that there’s no way I can handle this where she won’t get hurt. It’s just a case of limiting the damage. I also know how long it took her to get over it last time, so it’s not just the initial pain I’d be causing. Am I thinking too much into this?

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Dorian 7 #
An Unknown Location | 4 months, 1 week ago (22 minutes after post)

I know what I SHOULD do - that’s never really borne much resemblance to what I actually end up doing. I guess we’ll see next time the two of us meet up. I really owe her better than to just break up with her over the phone.

Help me with: Symptoms of concussion

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Dorian 7 #
An Unknown Location | 4 months, 1 week ago (33 minutes after post)

Heh, like I said on the other post, I keep forgetting the little checkbox!
I’ll see how it goes - I’m too tired to be making any decisions about this at the moment. She told me earlier she doesn’t want to lose me, but she would have broken up with me if I hadn’t met up with her for her birthday three weeks ago because I’d been neglecting her during my exams. She’s also told me in the past that if she thought I was about to break up with her, then she’d break up with me first, which I guess is fair enough.

Help me with: Symptoms of concussion

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Dorian 7 #
An Unknown Location | 4 months, 1 week ago (45 minutes after post)

Aye, but sometimes you can’t really get to know a person without spending at least some time in a relationship with them as well. As one of my friends once put it, the only way to get to know someone completely is to be their friend, their partner and their ex, because you’ll see a different side to them in each situation

Help me with: Symptoms of concussion

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