friends help: i need someone to talk to…who will listen…who will attempt to understand and give suggestions… - Help.com

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i understand how you feel. i think firstly you should stop talking down to yourself, it just reinforces how terrible you feel. i think a good place to start is to start calling people, even if you don’t feel like it.get to know them. start doing things even though you don’t want to do them. you’ll work your way out of your mental hole. you’ll know them better. you’ll trust them, and they’ll trust you.

that’s all i got… up to you to make the choice.

i think that you are a very cautious and kind person. You dont want to burden yourself on other people,even if they are the people that love you and know you best, but now its got too much for you and you dont know where else to turn. Am I right? If I am then i have been in a similar place as you have, and the kind and wonderful people on here helped me out, they were there for me and I know that they still are if I need them, sometimes its easier to speak to strangers than anybody else. I would like to help you as much as I can because i used to feel similar to what you did and still do on occasion. It sounds like to me that you need to relax because all these things at once are stressful yes? Also i would perhaps look closer at people who know you, there may be a true friend lurking out there that you have overlooked before. I know this is easy for me to say but it is true, life is never as bad as it seems. Perhaps a smile and a few trips out are all you need to build up your self-esteem and gather some good friends. I hope this has been of some use to you, and please dont hesitate to speak to me again if you dont understand anything I have said or you have more to unload off your shoulders, a problem shared is a problem halved, or in this case it can be cut into tiny particles :)

the combination of low esteem and vanity is strange. you become vain to convince yourself that you are worthwhile? my niece is 16 and acts this way. i think my main advice would be to look in that mirror again and look at your life and who you are and what you have accomplished and collected over the years. and think about other people - in other countries or with serious health issues or… all those people too shy to even have a boyfriend or girlfriend. be grateful you have someone.

at the same time… maybe being alone and on your own would be worthy as well. do some things on your own - and realize you are a very capable person that is capable of doing a lot. be proud of yourself. you are alive and you cry… those are good signs. if you were blissfully happy you wouldn’t have room to learn anything. :)

life is about the journey - its about feeling uncomfortable and seeking the good out. :) you are a good person - it is obvious from your letter. you are full of feelings and that is wonderful. just dont be afraid of them. embrace who you are!

i cry a lot too… and to me it is just a sign that i am human and i am alive.

there is a quote from a good book called Don’t Get Too Comfortable by David Rackoff that i like a lot.

“…and it is sh*t ultimately. or some corporeal effluvial cousin thereof. This sloughing off and scouring down to the walls is about a denial that has little to do with doing without. It is not so much as a terrified repudiation of the essential nature of what we are: Great sloshing, suppating bags of wet, prone to rupture. Mental messes waiting to happen.”

we are just bags of sloshing emotion… trying not to spill on each other. and i just want to say… it is ok to spill. :D we all do it.

perhaps writing out letters to your friends … even if you don’t send them, it helps to just get it out of your head. and maybe call a friend up and say i need 20 minutes and read the letter you wrote and talk about it as much as you can in those 20 minutes. i am very isolated from my friends as well… they have all moved off to colleges or started families and i am 30 and still live in the same town. i suppose i am the rock for some people. my friends that are too busy call me because i am not that way. i choose to live my life peacefully and quietly. don’t get me wrong i like the hustle bustle of a big city type life, but maybe just as a vacation. i enjoy myself and my isolation. i have learned to accept it as a gift. so i am sorry you are out of touch with your people. it is important to remain in contact with those that are close to you. i say… try harder! :D i think any friend worth his salt would stop and listen to you if you really needed it. just don’t be ashamed to ask for the time and the help. :)

Can I be your friend? :3

I too have no close friends at this point, except for my boyfriend. I do spill stuff to him but I have the same lonely depressed syndrome that you do and have taken to calling myself the golden retriever. Talk about your low self esteem, even I admit that I’m a dog…

I am pretty much the epitome of pathetic. But I am told I’m a good listener. Maybe we could help each other out.

If you want you can send a nice big vent-fest to i> small>(email removed) /small> /i> and we can be online pen-pals xP I promise I’ll read every word. I won’t judge, cause you can’t possibly be more pathetic than me. I think I will understand well enough because we have some things in common. As for suggestions, I’ll do my best, but I might not be much help, since I’m kind of a mess too.

You don’t have to if you don’t wanna, but I’m here.

aww. well - being close to someone… is your choice. it seems you have expressed yourself very well here. maybe here is a good place for now. :) there are certainly no judgments because we don’t know you! :D

life is full of lessons… and i think perhaps this is one of yours. friends aren’t hard to come by really… a little humor and honesty goes a long way… because we are all humans with issues. :)

what are your issues ? make a list.

try sending each other shout outs… emails may show there. :D

good luck.

see… friends are hiding everywhere :D

Rawr. *eats filter*

Well it’s hopelikefire44 and I use email from yahoo.

sure thing… i understand you.

when things have been left for a while it does seem like you don’t know where to begin.

you are on the right track though… just by being here.

:D

if you want to email me you can as well…
sahara@ elp . rr. com

that might work.

:D

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http://www.coaches247.com

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Let me know if it helps.