Relationships help: Please help…I need your opinion! - Help.com

Hi Guys and gals…hope all is well.

Just a little something that’s been playing on my mind, and I’d like you to share you opinions with me.

There is a young woman who ‘gets’ (sometimes) on my bus to work in the morning. For a while I could see her looking over and smiling at me. Unfortunately, at the time, I had very little self-confidence and esteem, and did not feel very comfortable with my appearance etc. Since then, I have become a much stronger individual and in doing so realised my mistake. Although looks are superficial, she is very attractive and I was kicking myself.

I decided to approach her and try and salvage the situation. I complimented her and asked her if I could take her out and get to know her. She said that unfortunately she was in a relationship now. I smiled graciously and apologised and walked away. (I since moved on and met someone else who I have been with for 9 months, and she is a wonderful woman! :))

At the time, however, I decided to temporarily catch a different bus to help my move forward. Whilst catching the alternate bus, I met my current gf…and it wasn’t long before I was back on the old bus again. (NB I didnt meet my current g/f on the bus - totally seperate…I do try to have a life outside of public transport lol). The other lady was back on there and was smiling at me blatantly…I assumed she had split up with her bf…but I was in a relationship!

The monday before **** Valentine’s day, was on the bus making my way home with the card I just bought for Kerry - my gf’s name. Some of the other girls friends were on the bus and saw me and sniggered. The girl then got on, sat with then and said to them that I had only approached her because she was wearing skirt and that my gf must also wear the same. She said that at any other time I wasn’t interested i her and that’s obviously how you have to dress these days. She wasn’t wearing a skirt when I asked her but nonetheless, that simply didn’t accur to me becauase I do not regard myself as shallow. I had my headphones on so maybe she though I couldn’t hear??? who knows?? A month ago, she got on the bus and came up the stairs to the top deck with one of her so called friends…when she saw me she kind of flinched/reacted and sat down towards the back of the bus. There was some whispering going on a some laughing/sniggering…and when she was getting off at her stop, she walked very slowly passed me as if to say “…I am wearing a skirt now…aren’t you going to show interest” and stood at the top of the stairs to go down for what seemed like nearly a minute! I tried not to pay any attention.

I really irritates me. I just want to move on and I am happy where I am, and can’t be bothered with the harrasement…to some extent I wish I never approached her in the first place. It also frustrates me when I am on the early bus, and she gets on it, reactes and the next day she then gets on the later bus…if I end up catching the later bus for whatever reason…she’ll then go back on the earlier bus. I find it very frustrating that she thinks I really care or that she is possibly avoiding me because I may be staring at her particularly if she is wearing skirt!!!

When she saw me with the valetine’s card she also said that she can’t believe I have found someone else! What should I do wait forever for her…I made a mistake, I moved on and try not to pass up further opportunities! After all, she got into her relationship! I think that it made her all the more convinced that I am shallow because I was just able to move on so I must have been interested in her just because of her legs! No, it’s never easy, but there is only one way you can go and my gf only wears pants anyway so there! Maybe she just feels resentful or regreatful beause she turned me down, I don’t know - I do not want to flatter myself. Her behaviour irritates me…making me feel I am groaping over her only to then be avoided…but I was ok for the shoe to be on the other foot! I just want to be left alone!

Any suggestions???

Darren

Something’s been playing on my mind, and I’d like you to share your opinions with me.

There is a young woman who ‘gets’ (sometimes) on my bus to work in the morning. For a while I could see her looking over and smiling at me. Unfortunately, at the time, I had very little self-confidence and esteem, and did not feel very comfortable with my appearance etc. Since then, I have become a much stronger individual and in doing so realised my mistake. Although looks are superficial, she is very attractive and I was kicking myself.

I decided to approach her and try and salvage the situation. I complimented her and asked her if I could take her out and get to know her. She said that unfortunately she was in a relationship now. I smiled graciously and apologised and walked away. (I since moved on and met someone else who I have been with for 9 months, and she is a wonderful woman! :))

At the time, however, I decided to temporarily catch a different bus to help my move forward. Whilst catching the alternate bus, I met my current gf…and it wasn’t long before I was back on the old bus again. (NB I didnt meet my current g/f on the bus - totally seperate…I do try to have a life outside of public transport lol). The other lady was back on there and was smiling at me blatantly…I assumed she had split up with her bf…but I was in a relationship!

The monday before **** Valentine’s day, was on the bus making my way home with the card I just bought for Kerry - my gf’s name. Some of the other girls friends were on the bus and saw me and sniggered. The girl then got on, sat with then and said to them that I had only approached her because she was wearing skirt and that my gf must also wear the same. She said that at any other time I wasn’t interested i her and that’s obviously how you have to dress these days. She wasn’t wearing a skirt when I asked her but nonetheless, that simply didn’t accur to me becauase I do not regard myself as shallow. I had my headphones on so maybe she though I couldn’t hear??? who knows?? A month ago, she got on the bus and came up the stairs to the top deck with one of her so called friends…when she saw me she kind of flinched/reacted and sat down towards the back of the bus. There was some whispering going on a some laughing/sniggering…and when she was getting off at her stop, she walked very slowly passed me as if to say “…I am wearing a skirt now…aren’t you going to show interest” and stood at the top of the stairs to go down for what seemed like nearly a minute! I tried not to pay any attention.

I really irritates me. I just want to move on and I am happy where I am, and can’t be bothered with the harrasement…to some extent I wish I never approached her in the first place. It also frustrates me when I am on the early bus, and she gets on it, reactes and the next day she then gets on the later bus…if I end up catching the later bus for whatever reason…she’ll then go back on the earlier bus. I find it very frustrating that she thinks I really care or that she is possibly avoiding me because I may be staring at her particularly if she is wearing skirt!!!

When she saw me with the valetine’s card she also said that she can’t believe I have found someone else! What should I do wait forever for her…I made a mistake, I moved on and try not to pass up further opportunities! After all, she got into her relationship! I think that it made her all the more convinced that I am shallow because I was just able to move on so I must have been interested in her just because of her legs! No, it’s never easy, but there is only one way you can go and my gf only wears pants anyway so there! Maybe she just feels resentful or regreatful beause she turned me down, I don’t know - I do not want to flatter myself. Her behaviour irritates me…making me feel I am groaping over her only to then be avoided…but I was ok for the shoe to be on the other foot! I just want to be left alone!

Any suggestions???

Darren

There is a young woman who ‘gets’ (sometimes) on my bus to work in the morning. For a while I could see her looking over and smiling at me. Unfortunately, at the time, I had very little self-confidence and esteem, and did not feel very comfortable with my appearance etc. Since then, I have become a much stronger individual and in doing so realised my mistake. Although looks are superficial, she is very attractive and I was kicking myself.

I decided to approach her and try and salvage the situation. I complimented her and asked her if I could take her out and get to know her. She said that unfortunately she was in a relationship now. I smiled graciously and apologised and walked away. (I since moved on and met someone else who I have been with for 9 months, and she is a wonderful woman! :))

At the time, however, I decided to temporarily catch a different bus to help my move forward. Whilst catching the alternate bus, I met my current gf…and it wasn’t long before I was back on the old bus again. (NB I didnt meet my current g/f on the bus - totally seperate…I do try to have a life outside of public transport lol). The other lady was back on there and was smiling at me blatantly…I assumed she had split up with her bf…but I was in a relationship!

The monday before **** Valentine’s day, was on the bus making my way home with the card I just bought for Kerry - my gf’s name. Some of the other girls friends were on the bus and saw me and sniggered. The girl then got on, sat with then and said to them that I had only approached her because she was wearing skirt and that my gf must also wear the same. She said that at any other time I wasn’t interested i her and that’s obviously how you have to dress these days. She wasn’t wearing a skirt when I asked her but nonetheless, that simply didn’t accur to me becauase I do not regard myself as shallow. I had my headphones on so maybe she though I couldn’t hear??? who knows?? A month ago, she got on the bus and came up the stairs to the top deck with one of her so called friends…when she saw me she kind of flinched/reacted and sat down towards the back of the bus. There was some whispering going on a some laughing/sniggering…and when she was getting off at her stop, she walked very slowly passed me as if to say “…I am wearing a skirt now…aren’t you going to show interest” and stood at the top of the stairs to go down for what seemed like nearly a minute! I tried not to pay any attention.

I really irritates me. I just want to move on and I am happy where I am, and can’t be bothered with the harrasement…to some extent I wish I never approached her in the first place. It also frustrates me when I am on the early bus, and she gets on it, reactes and the next day she then gets on the later bus…if I end up catching the later bus for whatever reason…she’ll then go back on the earlier bus. I find it very frustrating that she thinks I really care or that she is possibly avoiding me because I may be staring at her particularly if she is wearing skirt!!!

When she saw me with the valetine’s card she also said that she can’t believe I have found someone else! What should I do wait forever for her…I made a mistake, I moved on and try not to pass up further opportunities! After all, she got into her relationship! I think that it made her all the more convinced that I am shallow because I was just able to move on so I must have been interested in her just because of her legs! No, it’s never easy, but there is only one way you can go and my gf only wears pants anyway so there! Maybe she just feels resentful or regreatful beause she turned me down, I don’t know - I do not want to flatter myself. Her behaviour irritates me…making me feel I am groaping over her only to then be avoided…but I was ok for the shoe to be on the other foot! I just want to be left alone!

Any oppinions or suggestions???

Darren

There is a young woman who ‘gets’ (sometimes) on my bus to work in the morning. For a while I could see her looking over and smiling at me. Unfortunately, at the time, I had very little self-confidence and esteem, and did not feel very comfortable with my appearance etc. Since then, I have become a much stronger individual and in doing so realised my mistake. Although looks are superficial, she is very attractive and I was kicking myself.

I decided to approach her and try and salvage the situation. I complimented her and asked her if I could take her out and get to know her. She said that unfortunately she was in a relationship now. I smiled graciously and apologised and walked away. (I since moved on and met someone else who I have been with for 9 months, and she is a wonderful woman! :))

At the time, however, I decided to temporarily catch a different bus to help my move forward. Whilst catching the alternate bus, I met my current gf…and it wasn’t long before I was back on the old bus again. (NB I didnt meet my current g/f on the bus - totally seperate…I do try to have a life outside of public transport lol). The other lady was back on there and was smiling at me blatantly…I assumed she had split up with her bf…but I was in a relationship!

The monday before **** Valentine’s day, was on the bus making my way home with the card I just bought for Kerry - my gf’s name. Some of the other girls friends were on the bus and saw me and sniggered. The girl then got on, sat with then and said to them that I had only approached her because she was wearing skirt and that my gf must also wear the same. She said that at any other time I wasn’t interested i her and that’s obviously how you have to dress these days. She wasn’t wearing a skirt when I asked her but nonetheless, that simply didn’t accur to me becauase I do not regard myself as shallow. I had my headphones on so maybe she though I couldn’t hear??? who knows?? A month ago, she got on the bus and came up the stairs to the top deck with one of her so called friends…when she saw me she kind of flinched/reacted and sat down towards the back of the bus. There was some whispering going on a some laughing/sniggering…and when she was getting off at her stop, she walked very slowly passed me as if to say “…I am wearing a skirt now…aren’t you going to show interest” and stood at the top of the stairs to go down for what seemed like nearly a minute! I tried not to pay any attention.

I really irritates me. I just want to move on and I am happy where I am, and can’t be bothered with the harrasement…to some extent I wish I never approached her in the first place. It also frustrates me when I am on the early bus, and she gets on it, reactes and the next day she then gets on the later bus…if I end up catching the later bus for whatever reason…she’ll then go back on the earlier bus. I find it very frustrating that she thinks I really care or that she is possibly avoiding me because I may be staring at her particularly if she is wearing skirt!!!

When she saw me with the valetine’s card she also said that she can’t believe I have found someone else! What should I do wait forever for her…I made a mistake, I moved on and try not to pass up further opportunities! After all, she got into her relationship! I think that it made her all the more convinced that I am shallow because I was just able to move on so I must have been interested in her just because of her legs! No, it’s never easy, but there is only one way you can go and my gf only wears pants anyway so there! Maybe she just feels resentful or regreatful beause she turned me down, I don’t know - I do not want to flatter myself. Her behaviour irritates me…making me feel I am groaping over her only to then be avoided…but I was ok for the shoe to be on the other foot! I just want to be left alone!

Any oppinions or suggestions???