Hello, Its been almost a year since I was last on here and I’m still alive…
guess my survival instinct won over self-destruction…apparently, after 2 mental hospital visits I have something called “Major Depression with suicidal tendencies? go figure! I took medication for a few months but quickly fell back into the same rut and I tried ending my life again atop a mountain I had climbed in SD. Once again I could not win over my own survival instinct so I came back with renewed energy “plus spending time away from the city in the wilderness helped”. I gave up on the medication and started an 8 month long career school which I’m about to finish. Thing is I’m still unsure as to what I really want to do with my life? Since I’m still young, there are many roads I can follow but how do I know which way to go? Whats really important and how can I live my life “Consciously”? What does living consciously mean? I do feel at times like I’m living life automatically so in what way can I change that? I’ve always wondered if truly feeling alive could only be felt when faced with a life or death situation? Is that true? Although I’ve given up on taking medication, this depression still comes and goes? At times I feel like death is a much easier option lol but then again, what a pathetic way to go, I’ve always thought that if I was going to die, it would be fighting or protecting someone, at the very least. Anyways I’m getting off topic, the questions I had were A)How can I truly feel “alive” and B)What kind of natural herbs can I take to help with depression BTW: I’ve been doing heavy weight training for the last two weeks and these next two weeks I’m adding heavy bag boxing sessions. I heard that working out releases “feel good” hormones so I know that training my body is something that I will have to make a habit of without exception if I want to beat my depression with pure willpower alone, but if anyone has any recommendations about some helpful natural herbs or remedies I can also take I’d love to hear them. I take B-complex and a multivitamin also but I wonder if there’s something else for a healthier mood or mental state, plus I’m trying to start a meditation routine, any tips on that would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for your kind words if any… :-)
This open post was written 3 years, 10 months ago | V/U/S: 739, 5, 3 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post
Reciprocity (0) 
Since writing this post Sorcerer1005 may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. Sorcerer1005 is a verified member, has been around for 5 years, 4 months and has 6 posts and 359 replies to their name.
Replies (5)
Where were you?
You can also watch events on Help.com as they happen
HelpBot
If you are contemplating suicide, hurting yourself, or you are seriously depressed: please, seek professional help!
Call this hotline (1-800-273-8255) operated by our friends at the
Suicide Prevention Lifeline, anytime, for free, professional, and
confidential assistance. While other Help.com users are likely to reply
to your post, please make sure you understand that your use of Help.com
falls under our TOS.
Note: I’m a robot that the Help.com staff created. If this response is in error, I apologize, please ignore it.
sangi
Dorian
Invite Others to Help
A logged in and verified Help.com member has the ability to setup a Friends List and invite others to help with posts.