depression help: I graduated from high school with a string of distinctions only to lose my mind after I was posted to my choice college. - Help.com

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Somewhere along the way you lost the tools to garden. You must back track. Just like if you were to lose something. Back track you past and see if you missed something and try to regain it. There must have been a distraction in your life. Bury that distraction before it destroys more of you.

You say you’ve allways been ambitious.
But actually why?
What motivated you to try very hard. What is it that you pursued, in the hope that it would make you happy. And are your motivations still the same, or are there actually other things that you now find more important?

Perhaps if you find out which at this moment are the things in life that can make you enjoy life most, you could just pursue those because you know these will make you happy.
These can be things like: having an interesting job or study with nice collegues/ fellow students, or doing things in such a way that you have enough of free time to do whatever you would like to do for fun as well, or it may be to do things that other people are very grateful for.

The question may not be: “why do’nt things that used to motivate me not motivate me anymore” , but rather “what are the things that despite everything still motivate me and still make me feel a bit happier about myself or life in general”.
If you know, you could do everything in your power to make these things happen more often. Especially go for the easy to accomplice things first. If they are rewarding enough you might be more motivated and have more energy/enthusiasm to try some things that are just a little harder to accomplice but still doable and rewarding enough. Just go for a little bit harder things until you reach a level where the investment/reward balance is so uninteresting that you don’t feel motivated anymore. Then, if that’s the case, decide for yourself you don’t consider them worth the effort. Nothing wrong with recognising things that require too much investment.

Perhaps whenever you have a problem getting motivated, don’t ask yourself: “How can I get motivated?” but ask yourself: “Is this doable enough, considering what’s to gain and given the motivation I do have to accomplice this, and if not, can I somehow find ways to make it doable enough?” If you can: good! If not, search for things that are less demanding and more rewarding according to your own experience.

Anyways, personally I seldomly succeed trying to get myself motivated for things that in fact I’m really not, just by telling myself I should be more motivated.
Not even if I most sincerely believe I really should. (believe me, there are some)

Remko

I was like you easily distracted not able to concentrate on any thing. What worked for me is. I started walking in the morning after getting a cold bath at 5 am. It made me strong mentally and improved the concentration. Than I started a routine of going to a library in the evening and spending atleast 2 hours a day reading serious staff every day something different. the change was good and thought me to diversify. Try this develop a routine and stick to it. Help around the house and you will start loving yourself and others.