Family help: This is a long story, so thanks for taking the time to read it. - Help.com

This is a long story, so thanks for taking the time to read it.

This is the first time I’ve ever solicited advice from the internet and I’m excited to see any reply.

I really love my dad and I’m worried about him. When I was 5 (I’m 21 now) my parents started their own business and they’ve been quite successful. The thing is, this business has torn my parents apart. In my entire life, I don’t recall my parents ever sleeping in the same room. They fought all the time. Things got bad at home: my sister and I used to run away, only be chased down by the cops a few miles from home. The cops didn’t just come for us kids though. Once, my dad called the cops on my mom because she hit him with her keys and she got arrested.They say they’re going to get a divorce at least once a week. The thing is though, my parents are really smart. Their business gets the most government grants out of any business or institution in the state. My sister and I are about as normal as it gets. Yet we have this huge family secret that our family is anything but a family.

But back to my dad. He’s the chief engineer at him and my mom’s business. He gets yelled at all the time and he has a real bad temper, but would never get physical. He used to shield me and my sister from getting slapped or spanked by my mom (it was with a 2 x 4. It hurt). He is so angry, all the time. He makes male college graduates cry, and more than once. Let me give you an example of how short his temper is. Let’s use the USB example. My dad tried to insert a USB into the computer but had it upside down. He tried inserting it once like that and it didnt work. This prompted an onslaught of cursing: “Jesus, Mary and Joseph just help me out just once! Just one ******* time! *slams hand on desk* God, no one will help me!” etc., etc. He curses my mother out all the time to himself (”that ******* *******, that stupid *****” etc., etc.). Most of the time it doesn’t even phase me anymore, I’ve gotten so jaded. But I know my dad is not happy, and I don’t want him to spend the rest of his life like this. I’ve asked him to see a psychiatrist or a doctor, to which I get “Just leave me alone will you? You’re just like that *******! (referring to my mother, of course). Living with my antagonistic mother would drive anyone insane, I guess, but I just want my dad to find some peace. My family is so ripped up and shredded from my parents trying to support their own business, working together every single day and bringing work stress home, and dragging a failing marriage on and on (but I guess they’re still together which says something. But I will say they don’t hug, hold hands, eat together, or basically do anything together.

How can I help my dad? How should I approach him to go see the doctor again? As a daughter, what can I do? I feel I’ve tried everything I can think of and just need some new thoughts.

Thanks so much.

This open post was written 4 months, 2 weeks ago | V/U/S: 130, 2, 2 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

Family, depression, dad, anger (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

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