So im not sure what to do.
i dont have a future because i threw my education away, my girlfriend doesnt care about me anymore, my mom has a new job where shell be gone 9 months out the year and im stuck with a brother and sister who are complete strangers to me while my only close family lives 2 cities away and whom i barley see because he had to move out when he had his baby. I’m completley alone. i work to live meaning my rent and misc. bills. I have mental breakdowns every night where i cry my eyes out and then tears turn to rage a and rage turns to me breaking everything i see. i dont want to be this way. i use to be the most happy go lucky guy there was and now im miserable, i use to be the guy who would talk people out of killing themselves and now im the one who needs someone to talk to but theres no one there. Thats not what i want. i just want to be happy again but it seems impossible. im trying to seek help but idk where to go. i have a doctors app. this upcoming tuesday with a ****** pediatrition just to get a refferal and im paying 50 bucks i dont have to see him. I dont want to die but i dont want to live like this. So much pain, and so much anger i cant contain anymore. I’m so afraid of snapping because i dont know what i’d do. i feel like anything could put me over the edge and im scared for me and the people around me. i just need help. someone please help me
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