pregnancy help: I’m 30 and pregnant for the first time… - Help.com

Why don’t you tell this guy that you dont wont to be with him, you just live with the baby and him be around for the baby. It will be like you had a divorce but you really didn’t. I can understand where he is coming from, is this his only child too? Don’t have an abortion because it will bother you for the rest of your life and YOU will be taking out your problems with a baby’s LIFE, think of this pregnancy in the way of a miracle, they said you couldn’t be pregnant and you got pregnant, congratulations! And who knows maybe if you do stay with this guy you’ll like him better as a father than you like him before.

First of all congratulations. A little life growing inside of you and you being able to nurture that life inside of you is a wonderful gift from the heavens. Not every woman has that privilege in this world.

As far as abortion maybe being the best option that’s something you’re going to have to decide for yourself. It’s your body and your right to choose. Don’t let anybody tell you what to do because after all you’re the one who’s going to have the baby and be responsible for him/her.

Having the support of the father, even if you don’t want to be with him, is another privilege that not every woman can lay claim to. Even women who are married to the father of the baby sometimes don’t have that support.

It’s a hard decision. A decision that you are going to take into consideration when you and you alone tells you what to do.

The fact that you were told that you probably would not be able to conceive and now you are pregnant might make this a shock to you. However, if you get an abortion and you meet the man that you actually want to marry, will you be able to conceive again? You don’t know for sure.

Now, what do you want? Do you want to take that chance of not being able to conceive in the future when right now you have the certainty of having this baby? Think long and hard about your decision. That decision will affect you forever. Don’t take it lightly.

I hope you make the right decision for you and can actually live with it.

an abortion is something you will regret even if its right for you, the same goes for keeping the baby, it is a life changing situation and it’ll be both good and bad.

you really have to ask yourself are you ready for this and what does your heart tell you to do?
if the guy is nice and supportive then let him help you through this it will be harder solo. but his helping doesn’t mean you have to go back to him.

personally i wouldn’t have an abortion, but it has to be your decision it really does because only you knows what is right, try talking to friends and family as well as this guy they might be able to help you make the your decision.

It’s a tough one!

Rather than abortion would suggest adoption…
Im not sure about the bf situation but, i.e.
His feelings regarding the child…
Remembr if you go for an abortion and cannot concieve after that you will always regret doing it!

Don’t do it!!!!!!

No, isnt an option. A baby its the better present you will receive in your life.

This is your decision. There is absolutely nothing wrong with abortion when it is not right for you to have a child at that time. Putting your body through a pregnancy is hell enough especially if you don’t want to keep the child at the end of it, its unfair to bring a child into the world that isn’t wanted anyway, there is a higher risk of child abuse in these cases too. From the birth parent, and from adoptive parents.

A fetus isn’t a human, it’s merely a mass of tissue. Nobody here has a right to impose their morals on you that take away your right to choose.

Think on it long and hard, you are already having medical problems that you don’t want to exacerbate.

At the end of the day, it’s your CHOICE.

Come on!
Ones views regarding a fetus is total semantics…
Now, I did ask about the fathers preferences… If he is interested in the child… then dont you think it makes sense in having the child, especially when you have no idea if you can have antoher child!
Imagine, if you abort and cannot have a child again… how would you feel about throwing away this chance at having a child and a family of your own?

you want to have an abortion because you broke up with your boyfriend?
having the child doesnt mean you two have to get married
you remained friends -thats awesome !
you can have the baby and he can be a father ..
so many people get divorced.. having a child while you are with a man doesnt mean that you are going to stay with him for the rest of your life..

Miss Jessica Bunny wrote:
A fetus isn’t a human, it’s merely a mass of tissue.

i think a fetus actually already has a heart after the 5th week of pregnancy..
its not exactly only tissue

A child needs loving parents to fully develop.
That means both parents.
Having a child you don’t want is not a good start.
Having no husband to be with is not a good start.
So think carefully and decide.
It won’t be easy in either choice.
But one choice demands the next 20 years of your life.

to clarify the issue of abortion.
The question is if you are infringing on the free will of the baby.
the answer is:
The soul dosen’t become very attached to the baby early on.
Its gradual.
This is due to the fact that nature aborts very often.
If the soul isn’t attached then it dosn’t care one way or another.
Once attachment occurs then it becomes a dissapointment to the soul.

spiratec9 wrote:
A child needs loving parents to fully develop.
That means both parents.
Having a child you don’t want is not a good start.
Having no husband to be with is not a good start.
So think carefully and decide.
It won’t be easy in either choice.
But one choice demands the next 20 years of your life.

so many people are raised by a single parent and they turn out fine!

spiratec9 wrote:
to clarify the issue of abortion.
The question is if you are infringing on the free will of the baby.
the answer is:
The soul dosen’t become very attached to the baby early on.
Its gradual.
This is due to the fact that nature aborts very often.
If the soul isn’t attached then it dosn’t care one way or another.
Once attachment occurs then it becomes a dissapointment to the soul.

soul? your argument is based on something that may not even exist…

lostinatoodarkpark wrote:

spiratec9 wrote:
A child needs loving parents to fully develop.
That means both parents.
Having a child you don’t want is not a good start.
Having no husband to be with is not a good start.
So think carefully and decide.
It won’t be easy in either choice.
But one choice demands the next 20 years of your life.

so many people are raised by a single parent and they turn out fine!

spiratec9 wrote:
to clarify the issue of abortion.
The question is if you are infringing on the free will of the baby.
the answer is:
The soul dosen’t become very attached to the baby early on.
Its gradual.
This is due to the fact that nature aborts very often.
If the soul isn’t attached then it dosn’t care one way or another.
Once attachment occurs then it becomes a dissapointment to the soul.

soul? your argument is based on something that may not even exist…

oh it exists alright.
It is the thing which make you just a pile of chemicals or a living being.
1 second after death the body is identical chemically as before death
but what has gone is the lifeforce(soul).

one consideration about adoption is that we incarnate in groups.
Your child was your former family member etc.
We work out past karma in this way.
To give away that soul means it cant work out karma in the same way.
Its not very good in other words.

Its your choice!
But, you know bringing life into this world is one of the most wonderful things you can experience…
You yourself said that physically you arent sure if you can have a second chance at this!
Are you willing to give up this experience based on a pros and cons list?
Look into your heart and then decide carefully!

I think a big part of it, that we haven’t mentioned, is can you afford it? Do you have a stable job, will they let you take paid maternity leave? Do you have a support network? Personally I don’t think it’s right to bring a child into the world unless you are adequately set up for it.

I think you’re considering it for the right reasons personally, at the end of the day, you don’t sound like you want the child, and there is little point bringing a child into the world if it is unwanted. It doesn’t make you a bad person, it just means that your situation isn’t right at the moment.

you never wanted children?
i mean disregarding the fact that you were told you couldnt

even if you meet the right man
you might never get pregnant again

lostinatoodarkpark wrote:
you never wanted children?
i mean disregarding the fact that you were told you couldnt

even if you meet the right man
you might never get pregnant again

Cor blimey, scaremongering or what. There are so many other options if she can’t, adoption, surrogacy, IVF. If she got pregnant once, chances are they were wrong all those years ago.

Please don’t have an abortion. Did you know by this time your baby can feel, it has a heart, and even fingernails! Don’t kill the baby because of this situation, once you see your baby’s face you won’t regret a thing! I swear.

Miss Jessica Bunny wrote:
Cor blimey, scaremongering or what. There are so many other options if she can’t, adoption, surrogacy, IVF. If she got pregnant once, chances are they were wrong all those years ago.

Come on you cant use the scaremongering term when you earlier said

Miss Jessica Bunny wrote:
Putting your body through a pregnancy is hell enough especially if you don’t want to keep the child at the end of it, its unfair to bring a child into the world that isn’t wanted anyway, there is a higher risk of child abuse in these cases too. From the birth parent, and from adoptive parents.

Think on it long and hard, you are already having medical problems that you don’t want to exacerbate.

You too used the same tactics for abortion!

Now Sahara…
In the long run you have no idea what the consiquences of your actions are going to be!
For all you know you will be just as happy, healthy and financially sound if you keep the baby or not.
For both sides we can find compelling arguments…
It all comes down to doing what you feel and know is right!
Its all up to you…

Oo
Honey its ur choice. Think about the situation- meaning your options - and compare the advantages and disadvantages on a short, medium and long term basis.
such as how it will affect you physically mentally spiritually economically (any other lly) and go with the best case scenario :)

Hope this helps,
Good luck in your future endeavours,

I’m so happy, I was praying that you would make that decision! Congratulations! I’m happy that you realized this babies a blessing. I hope things work out for you and your boyfriend and if they don’t , don’t stress and be happy! Your going to be a mom!

Happy to know you have made up your mind :)
I wish you and yours all the best in the future!

Much Luv,

P.s. Wooow @ Magical :) - its always nice to have that :)

That is really nice to hear…
I am glad your famalies are all excited and I am sure they will be there for you…
Even here, I am sure all of us are willing to share our experiences and just be there for you…
I wish you all the best!