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I have been dating my boyfriend for 1 year now, we live together, and we get along great when it’s just us.
He is almost 25 and I am 22. He has only been in one other relationship, with a girl LONG distance for 2 years or more. He has a guy friend whom he tells everything to; from our fights, why he thinks he is going no where in his life, to personal things I didn’t even know about. I understand it’s his friend, but I feel like he should be open enough to talk to me about these things. I will try to be as specific as I can. I just need to know if I am wasting my time or not.
Things that bother me about us:
1. He still considers us “new” to eachother, but, I think a year is not new.
2. When he talks about his kids, he says “HIS kids”. Never ours.
3. I have asked him to talk about the future, not asking him to get married right now, but someday…and he won’t talk with me. He is completly stand-offish.
4. He talked about marriage and kids with his last girlfriend, and they didn’t even live together.
5. I am scared to tell him things. I am
6. When around his friend and wife, he ignores me. I become second on his list. And it hurts me. I sometimes cry, and it makes me look like the “bad person” in our relationship.
7. I saw a text saying “the girl and I got into a fight again, but ask me if I care.” Things like that make me think I am nothing.
8. He never says anything mean to me directy. Although, some friends we had a fallout with, said that my bf would sometimes talk about how he wanted to leave me. Which I never heard anything about that from my bf. Showing he doesn’t communicate with me.
9. He says he loves me, so why can’t he SHOW me? His words are not enough, and I have told him this many times.
10. His friends and family had a little swimming trip, he ignored me the WHOLE time. People were noticing, and asking me why…and I felt so stupid. I didn’t know what to say. On that trip, he realized that he treats me second, but, still does it :(
11. As you can probably tell, I am sort of needy. I don’t have much family to care for me, and he knows this. He came into the relationship knowing this.
12. He also knows why I want to know if we are right for eachother…because I want to have a loving family by the time I am 26 or so. I want the family I have never really had.
13. Whenever I tell him how I feel, he thinks it’s bogus. It seems like he won’t take me or my feelings serious.
14. On my last birthday, he let me walk home crying, as I continued to cry on the bathroom floor for an hour…he was WELL aware of this too. I had got uposet because he was ignoring me, again, and people were noticing. I think the right thing for him to do would have been to come home, and work things out. His friends, and SUPPOSED to be my friends, didn’t encourage him to leave and work things out with me. Making me think they could care less about me as well.
Now, this MAY seem like a horrible relationship from reading all this. However, it’s REALLY great when it’s just us. Sometimes we have stupid small fights, but the big ones seem to be around his friends. His friends are 26 years old, married, yet still party. I am over that party stage, and frankly, get too emotional when I drink. How can I tell him these people only make me feel bad about myself? This is a really big issue in my life, and frankly, getting in the way of my college life–and being successful. Why can’t he give me what I need? Am I asking for too much?
Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days.
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