faitheachday: Oh my goodness–Wow! do you EVER need friends and support right now! The first thing that comes to my mind after reading your post is “Oh my gosh, I forgot all about the survivors of Katrina!” You know, what you’ve suffered through are many ‘deaths’ and the only way I can associate is with the memory of my personal loss of a son–about three months after the fact I discovered people in our society give you about six weeks to grieve publicly; after that the impression I received was “well, it’s been six weeks–time to get on with your life.”
The only way I can describe this passage I went through was a picture I had of myself–waterskiing. Have you ever waterskiied? Well, in this pix I had fallen in the water–I was hanging onto the tow rope–was desperately trying to get my feet into the skiis again–all the while the driver of the motor boat was driving fullspeed ahead never looking behind to even see I had fallen. Can you equate?
Wow–so much. But you have survived. You are a survivor or you wouldn’t have made it this far! And you will do it. Not that you can do it yourself but you will and do it magnificiently because of the One who lives inside of you. It takes tremendous courage and strength to have walked the distance you’ve covered already.
Your avatar name indicates you are a ‘believer’. God will see you through this; what looks like ‘the end’ right now is a birthing process into a freedom and future you can’t even imagine yet. The Lord works good through ALL things placed in His mighty hand; He is Faithful; He will get you through this!
The priceless treasure I received (the pearl of great price) through my ordeal was to come through the fire and not even smell of smoke. (even tho’ it was hell at the time). I learned that when my faith failed God’s faithfulness wouldn’t. And that, my friend, is worth it all.
However, you can’t do this trip alone. You need prayer, prayer and prayer. Lots of support. There is a scripture that tells us to ‘bear one another’s burdens’. The word ‘burden’ in Hebrew is ‘crushing weight’. And Faith, you’ve been crushed and the body of Christ needs to be supporting you and carry you right now. Ask, and ask again for the help you require right now. Phone the prayer lines (100 Huntley Street, It’s a New Day, Benny Hinn), local churches–reach out all around you). and keep
asking. The Lord said “Knock and it shall be opened to you.”
The people around you are ‘the windows of heaven’ the Lord uses to pour that blessing into your lap He so desperately wants to give you. Don’t isolate. Keep asking. Now is the time for the strength of other people in the body to pick you up and carry you until you are strong enough again to run by yourself.
Knowing you are at this place is a good thing–awful but good. I read somewhere ‘there are two exits to the tunnel of suffering. One is bitterness; the other is peace and joy.
My estimation, pilgrim, is you are like a woman in labor. You are about
7-8″ in diameter open–you are ‘in transition’–the very worst part of labor–just a little bit longer and you are going to burst through into a new life. Don’t give up now! You’ve almost made it.
It’s wonderful you’ve found this website. You’ve got good friends in this place who can talk you into landing. That and Jesus~His promise is He will never, leave, forsake or abandon you. It’s just right now you can’t see Him. You need Jesus with clothes on/flesh on.
But that’s a whole new subject.
Praying for you. Please shout me and I will reply.
God bless you, sister.