Family help: I have a situation.. - Help.com



This post left anonymously

I have a situation..

My parent’s marriage wasn’t exactly the best lovedy-dovey situation over the years I’ve grown up, and now I, an 18 yr old girl who is that last of 5 to move out of the house, am not sure what to do. Because I just got the news that my Mum has finally left Dad after years of awful treatment, I’m not sure what I am to feel. I am sad because of what has happened, but also happy for my Mum cause I know how bad the fights can be and how horrible my father can get.
But what of the situation? What will happen at Christmas when we always have the family get-together? None of us (my sisters) barely even talk to Dad, but I can think of multiple things that he might do…or even not to do anything at all would be his thing…

I just don’t know what to do. I’m the youngest and I am supposed to go to uni next year, so my own future is still undecided. All of my other sister’s have their own life to be supported by, but I can’t pay all the bills just by working full time by myself D; I only just started in life, and in this whole crisis, I’m just thankful to have a job!

EDIT:
Sorry! I forgot to mention, I am already living out of the house and am currently renting with my sister and her boyfriend (good place but $500+ a month just on rent)and so my Mum is currently staying with another sister. And as of today my father has made it so that she cannot access any of their money because he cancelled her cards once he discovered she left him… and now I’m more worried than ever D;

This open post was written 4 months, 3 weeks ago | V/U/S: 113, 4, 4 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


Reciprocity (0) Reciprocation Failure -- The poster has NOT helped anyone else yet!

Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days.

Post Tags (3)

Family, divorce, Fight (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

Replies (4)

Where were you?

Click and drag to move the map around. FAQ: How we place people on this map »
You can also watch events on Help.com as they happen
Mouse over the map for 2 seconds to see an expanded, interactive view

Cell offline Verified User (2 years, 9 months) Long Term User Shouts: 63 #
Winnipeg, MB, CA | 4 months, 3 weeks ago (13 minutes after post)

Where r u living now?

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
Help me with: I’m feeling a little lost…When you have your own business how do you know how to prioritize?
littlenick offline Verified User (1 year, 7 months) Long Term User Shouts: 158 #
An Undisclosed Location | 4 months, 3 weeks ago (30 minutes after post)

Stay with your mom for a while until you get a clearer picture of what you want to do or are able to support yourself.

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
Help me with: How to Get a Job
aliashim offline Verified User (10 months, 1 week) Long Term User Shouts: 20 #
An Unknown Location | 4 months, 3 weeks ago (56 minutes after post)

That’s hard, even more so because it’s not your fault.
Try to think how you would like to deal with the matter and what you would appreciate best at christmas, given the situation. Then try to see if that can be realised. It’s entirely upto you whether you would still want to have contact with your father. If you do and he does too, make it clear that you want to avoid getting involved in the conflict. If he accepts that, at least that’s something.

If you want to go to Uni and think you can do it, do it, even if it’ll create a debt, cause it will pay itself back. If there’s no way to even get a study loan, try to combine partime-work with part-time study.
Of course if you don’t want to go to Uni, nothing wrong with supporting yourself with that full-time job you’re grateful about, but you don’t need to pay other peoples bills.
(And if it’s only your own bills you can’t pay with the job, then it’s simply a matter of spending less, because any full-time job should be sufficient to guarantee financial stability.)
If there is other family or close friends you could live with (for free or against really low rent) while working or studying that can save in the costs too.

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

Anonymous edited this post 4 months, 3 weeks ago. Read the previous text »

I have a situation..

My parent’s marriage wasn’t exactly the best lovedy-dovey situation over the years I’ve grown up, and now I, an 18 yr old girl who is that last of 5 to move out of the house, am not sure what to do. Because I just got the news that my Mum has finally left Dad after years of awful treatment, I’m not sure what I am to feel. I am sad because of what has happened, but also happy for my Mum cause I know how bad the fights can be and how horrible my father can get.
But what of the situation? What will happen at Christmas when we always have the family get-together? None of us (my sisters) barely even talk to Dad, but I can think of multiple things that he might do…or even not to do anything at all would be his thing…

I just don’t know what to do. I’m the youngest and I am supposed to go to uni next year, so my own future is still undecided. All of my other sister’s have their own life to be supported by, but I can’t pay all the bills just by working full time by myself D; I only just started in life, and in this whole crisis, I’m just thankful to have a job!

Invite Others to Help

A logged in and verified Help.com member has the ability to setup a Friends List and invite others to help with posts.