How to tell him to stop lying?
Here is this person who is my brother in law. We are mostly in good terms. The thing I don’t like about him is he is not a reliable person. When he talk it is often full of BS, always boosting, and at times I think what he said is pure fabrication. For example he told me he was training with this champion cyclist. I know very well his physique is only so so, not to mention he only have a mountain bike. He don’t even know the name of the faster kind of bike is called “road bike”. When you hear this kind of talk year over year you know how trustworthy he is.
This is not to say he is a bad person. It is just his character. There is a circle of friends who act more or less like this. Sometimes they are good for a harmless laugh. But they are really not my kind of people.
Things get more serious when he borrow a small amount of money from me. He is not good with handling money and have financial issue before. Still I lend him the money because I think he has matured over the year. I hope by going through this exercise he will proof that he can handle responsibility. It turned out to be quite disastrous. One week has dragged on to several months and he still have not returned me the full amount. The problem he said is that a business that own him money has not released the fund to him, even many weeks after they’ve completed the transaction. I very much doubt this is the case.
I want to emphasis that it is not the money that is bothering me. When I loan him the money I have already prepared for the possibly of a total lost. What bothers me is he is not telling me what is actually happening and making up this story to me. I’ve suspected he is lying all along. But I mostly go along with him, offering him advice to pressure the business. Other time I told him how improbable this situation is. Like if the person in charge is on vacation than there should be a substitute to handle his case. This should not delay the release of his fund.
After writing up all this I realize part of the problem is also because I am not handling this right. I have been evading a confrontation with him. I should have said I don’t believe what he say and he need to tell me the truth. Instead I only express how improbable this situation is. I don’t think this gets the message across.
I bet he will scrap together the money for me somehow. But if I accepted it, I will lose the opportunity to confront him. I want to tell him I have given him trust and I expect honesty from him. I’m a sympathetic person. But I am just too soft in these situations. What would advice me to do?
Since writing this post auroraz may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. auroraz is a verified member, has been around for 4 years, 9 months and has 1 posts and 2 replies to their name.
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