friends help: im black and have a white friend,colour adn race have never been an issue between us and we get on really well together. - Help.com

Blood is thicker than water. This girl is always going to side with her family no matter what. Even if you guys get along really well, she will never go against her family if they offend you.

You should find another friend to hang out with.

The minute I would have heard the first racist comment from her family I would have been gone.

You have to have dignity, pride, and above all, self respect.

Her sister, “hates black people but quickly said she didnt hate” you? What kind of crap is that?

You need to get away from this people all together. They have been trying to give you clues all these years but they figure since you are “black” you are too dense to get them. They don’t realize that you care too much about this girl that you probably put that above and beyond their racism and bigotry.

I’m sad to tell you, but you need to move on and find another friend.

No matter from what race you came from as long as you’ve understand each other that is not a problem. All I have to say is that don’t mind what the other person might says to you.

I have 2 black friends who I am very close with and we do the same joking manner that you stated in your post. If my mom or dad were to make these jokes, I’m sure they would feel the same way as you do. I am protective of my family as well but I would most certainly want them to step up to the plate and let me know that it is bothering them. Just be sure to go about it the right way. Hopefully she is a very understanding person and if you two are as close as it seems then she should be able to listen and understand in my opinion.

Welcome to the real world sweety. There are so many racist people in this world. It stinks! These are things you must deal with and they will make you stronger. Im white and have tons of black and hispanic friends, I love them. But I have learned to deal with all of those things, even though the families may not like me. I deal with it maturely. You need to go to college, get an amzingly high powered job and show people you are more than just color. Show them that you are a strong women.

And please, don’t let anyone ever tell you that because you are in power and black, you need to hate on other races. It happened to a couple of my friends and because I am white, im nothing anymore.

Love life, there are worse things going on in the world
xoxo good luck!

BostonsBabyBlueS♥ wrote:
Welcome to the real world sweety. There are so many racist people in this world. It stinks! These are things you must deal with and they will make you stronger. Im white and have tons of black and hispanic friends, I love them. But I have learned to deal with all of those things, even though the families may not like me. I deal with it maturely. You need to go to college, get an amzingly high powered job and show people you are more than just color. Show them that you are a strong women.

And please, don’t let anyone ever tell you that because you are in power and black, you need to hate on other races. It happened to a couple of my friends and because I am white, im nothing anymore.

Love life, there are worse things going on in the world
xoxo good luck!

very well said.

Find another friend!

tell her you know they don’t mean to be unkind but what they say makes you really uncomfortable.

or yeah find a new friend!

Find a better friend.

Everyone forms stereotypes about other groups of people. The problem is when there are negative evaluations and feelings associated with these stereotypes and that is the definition of prejudice. Everyone has the right to have feelings, but when their expression of their feelings, and the actions that they take, hurt other people, it’s not appropriate.

My suggestion:
“I feel ________ when _______ happens( date/time)
This statement cannot ever offend anyone. I use this when speaking to my family, management, professors etc. and it works every time.

Ex) I feel unwelcomed/stressed/demeaned/hurt etc. when your sister says that she hates black people.

You have a right to have feelings and a right not to be hurt by others.

Another strategy to use: Pretend that you are in the role of a teacher, and talk to your friend as if you are helping her learn math or something.

Ex) “You your family may not have intended to, but the statements that they are making are a form of discrimination, and these statements hurt people.”

The “your family may not have intended to” does not mean that what her family is doing is okay, it’s just to recognize that they may have not been aware about the effect of their behaviour. Most people who discriminate don’t know about the real and horrible effect of their statements and actions. That is why we all (as in every individual in the whole world) have to keep educating others about how the multiple forms of discrimination hurt others.

I hope this helps!

aimlessly wrote:

BostonsBabyBlueS♥ wrote:
Welcome to the real world sweety. There are so many racist people in this world. It stinks! These are things you must deal with and they will make you stronger. Im white and have tons of black and hispanic friends, I love them. But I have learned to deal with all of those things, even though the families may not like me. I deal with it maturely. You need to go to college, get an amzingly high powered job and show people you are more than just color. Show them that you are a strong women.

And please, don’t let anyone ever tell you that because you are in power and black, you need to hate on other races. It happened to a couple of my friends and because I am white, im nothing anymore.

Love life, there are worse things going on in the world
xoxo good luck!

very well said.

Thank you : )